(The Scene: Bobby and Suenaga (frontman and frontwoman of Thick Chewy Crust respectively) are enjoying a night at home together. They're seated on a cream-colored leather sofa and wearing relaxed dress attire. Bobby is massaging Suenaga's neck and shoulders while Suenaga reads a book.)
Bobby: I was listening to the final mix of the album again earlier. That's some strong, strong stuff. I tell ya it's our best material to date, Sue. I also talked to the marketing people at the label today. They told me that the new single is doing real well, our biggest seller yet.
(Bobby smiles pridefully.)
Suenaga: Oh, that's good to hear.
(Suenaga flips a page in her book.)
Bobby: It sure is. Hey, you never did tell me what you think of the album. So what do you think?
(Suenaga puts her book down in her lap. She hesitates before answering Bobby's question.)
Suenaga: It's... ok.
(Bobby stops massaging Suenaga.)
Bobby: Just ok? Normally you're beaming with pride when we complete an album and you can't stop raving about it.
(Suenaga looks away from Bobby, not wanting to make eye contact with him.)
Suenaga: Well I do like the love song that you wrote for me.
Bobby: Anything else?
(Suenaga thinks for a moment.)
Suenaga: I had fun covering "Bulletproof" and umm... I enjoyed some of your guitar work.
(Bobby scoffs.)
Bobby: So you don't like the album?
Suenaga: I didn't say that.
Bobby: You didn't have to. Look at you. It's written across your face, clear as the blue sky.
(Bobby jumps up from the sofa in a huff.)
Suenaga: Stop it, Bobby!
Bobby: No, seriously what's going on with you, Sue? What are you, a disillusioned artist all of a sudden? You don't like our new album... what else don't you like? Do you like me?
(Suenaga jumps to her feet and gets in Bobby's face.)
Suenaga: Damn it, I said stop! Don't do that, Bobby! Do not put words in my mouth and do not tell me how I feel!
Bobby: Or you'll do what exactly?
Suenaga: I'll kick your ass, and not in the kinky way that you like!
Bobby: You'd rather kick my ass then tell me how you honestly feel about the album?
Suenaga: I hate it, ok? I hate it! It's superfluous! It's fluff! It lacks a strong, unifying concept, the songwriting is bland and ineffectual, and the production sounds thin!
(Bobby stands there silently. He bites his lip while trying to mask the hurt in his eyes.)
Suenaga: I'm sorry, Bobby. I just... I never wanted The Crust to become a metal band.
Bobby: I know that, Sue. I've always known that, but you have to understand something: I'm not Peter Gabriel, ok? I don't--I can't be him. You didn't marry that guy. You married Bobby Cairo. I make big American guitar noise while preaching about the evils of the corrupt government hierarchy. That leaves me with two options, metalhead or punk rocker, and I chose metalhead a long time ago.
(Suenaga reaches out to Bobby and touches his chest with her hand, an attempt at reconciliation. Bobby looks into Suenaga's eyes for a moment, those gleaming hopeful eyes, but he decides against accepting her gesture.)
Bobby: I have to... I have to update the website and post a new blog. I promised the Crustaceans that I would preview the album for them the last time I posted. We'll have to talk about this later.
Suenaga: I don't want to go to bed mad, Bobby.
Bobby: You won't and neither will I. We'll fuck it out, baby. We always do.
(Bobby nods at his bride then walks away. He walks into his (home) office and closes the door behind him. Bobby sighs as he sits down in the cushy black leather office chair in front of his computer desk. He clicks the mouse button a few times before his fingers begin furiously mashing the keys as he types.)
Bobby Cairo's Blog - The CairosphereI want to start off by saying a huge thank you to the Crustaceans! Thanks to you our new single "God Is A Wilted Flower" has become a worldwide top 40 hit and our most widely embraced release to date with chartings in all major territories, including our former nemesis the United Kingdom! Once again you have rewarded Sue and me for remaining vigilant in our efforts to bring you the finest music that our minds, bodies and souls can produce while remaining true to our artistic vision and absolutely refusing to sell out (i.e. filming music videos, appearing as musical guests on The Tonight Show, releasing multiple singles from an album). Thank you, once again!
As I promised you the last time I wrote, I'm going to break down our new album track-by-track in an effort to give you an idea of just what you can expect when this thing drops. First of all the title of the album is "Postcards From The Asylum; Or, My Life With The Lunatic Fringe". This is our most ambitious album title to date and it should give you a good idea of where we stand. The world, for wont of a better term, has gone off the deep end. People are searching for answers. "What does it all mean? Is the Apocalypse upon us?" No, the Apocalypse is not upon you, but the latest Thick Chewy Crust album is upon you and as always we're spitting our shit like only we can. Let's get to it!
Track #1: "Discordianism (The Religion Of Chaos)" - What is organized religion? Organized religion is many things to many people, but to me it's pure unadulterated horseshit. Inevitably all religious doctrines outline an impossibly strict code of conduct that each of us must live by, or else. Or else what? Or else we go to Hell, Hades, Purgatory, the Lake of Fire, and so on. Oh wow... I'm shaking with fear. In fact I can already smell my flesh cooking. I can feel my bones melting and turning to liquid. Seriously, I need to become a bigot and a crook like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson otherwise I'll be condemned to an eternity of agony and torment while those pious men bask in the sanctuary of Heaven. Yeah... Heaven. I'm sure that's where that bastard Falwell went when he died.
Organized religion is a scam, plain and simple. As I said it's pure unadulterated horseshit designed to keep us in line like good little sheep while hucksters and zealots rob us blind. I propose an alternative in the form of disorganized religion. What is that, you might be asking? Let's put it this way: "If organized religion is the opium of the masses, then disorganized religion is the marijuana of the lunatic fringe." Ahh... now that sounds mighty fine to me! Oh, by the way... the sound on this track? Heavy, anthemic, pulsating, a slice of Killing Joke.
Track #2: "Do We Owe Them A Living?" - Bureaucrats... can't live with 'em, can sure as shit live without 'em. Crass once asked: "Do they owe us a living?" Thick Chewy Crust now dares to ask: "Do we owe them a living?" The answer is a resounding, fuck no! Through the years I've made no secret of my disdain for public officials, and this track ups the ante. I propose that it's time for us to pull the plug on the entire system. Let the leeches and the vermin find out what it's like to earn a living in the real world when they're not picking the pockets of taxpayers. This is a pissed off track with a crust punk vibe inspired by the likes of Amebix and Discharge.
Track #3: "The Caucasians Of Shame" - What the fuck is wrong with some white people? I'm talking about both sides of the aisle. You've got conservatives who want to deport all Mexicans, Muslims and people who kind of look Mexican or Muslim. Then you've got the liberals, who seem to be under the impression that slavery and segregation are still the law of the land here in America. We've got a black president now, Mr. Olbermann. You can step off of your (organic?) soapbox. Listen, I'm not under any false impression that we have true racial harmony in this country. That will never be true so long as men like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck have jobs, but do we really need the race-baiting and the pandering that serves only to further divide us as a nation? I come from immigrant stock. My ancestors arrived in this country on a boat... a fucking boat, ok? They were closer to being slaves than owning slaves. They have nothing to apologize for, and neither do I. Save your guilt trips for somebody else. The sound? Melodic yet possessing a metallic crunch and sneering vocals.
Track #4: "Gender Roles Are So Passé" - I am more proud of this song than I am of any other song on the album, and I did not even write it. This song is Suenaga's ode to the equal rights movement and the pioneering women that made it possible for her to do something more with her life than cook, clean the house and rear children. In the lyrics Sue pays particular tribute to the artists that have influenced her life and career (Ella Fitzgerald, Kate Bush and Björk among them) while also outlining the need for further progress in the area of equality. The vibe on this track is brooding and a bit dangerous, like Fiona Apple circa Tidal. Considering its lyrical content I do find it ironic that this track is Sue's only songwriting contribution to the album, but sometimes that's just how things work out during the creative process.
Track #5: "God Is A Wilted Flower" - Another attack on religion? Oh shit, I really am going to Hell. This song is "the" single from the album, which is remarkable considering that it's also the heaviest and least (traditionally) "commercial" track on the album. Musically it's influenced by the extreme metal stylings of acts such as Vader and Rotting Christ, though I wouldn't go so far as to call the lyrics "blasphemous" in the same vein as those acts. The lyrics are honest however, brutally honest in fact. Throughout history religious leaders have propagated the myth of a "benevolent and loving" God who will reward us with eternal paradise if we follow His teachings; though conversely He will punish us with eternal damnation should we question His wisdom or stray from the path of the righteous. "God Is A Wilted Flower" envisions a world without gods or religions, a world where logic and reason trump fear and blind faith.
Track #6: "Invade, Overthrow & Occupy (Liberation, The American Way)" - Let us give credit where credit is due; if there is one task at which the American government excels it would have to be waging war. Our leaders go to war at the drop of a hat and they often do so under the pretense of liberating oppressed peoples from tyrants and dictators, but of course that's far from the truth. America protects American interests first and foremost. Our leaders aren't anti-dictator so long as the dictator in question pledges his support for their imperialist agenda. That's why three decades worth of American administrations bankrolled the Egyptian dictator Mubarak. That's why the current American administration was shitting itself in fear while putting on a brave face in light of the recent developments in Egypt. The American Empire became markedly weaker when the Egyptian people overthrow their US-backed dictator, and did so without firing a single bullet. A peaceful revolution from within a nation? That's heresy! That's the antithesis of liberation, the American way! Look at Iraq and Afghanistan if you want to see how we get things done!
To compliment the lyrical tone of this track, Sue utilized Eastern-influenced vocals that really showcase her incredible range while contrasting my more abrasive "singing" style. The track also features heavy, chugging guitar riffs and Tribal percussion (courtesy of DFH).
Track #7: "Please... Sit On My Face!" - This track documents one of life's great pleasures and the struggle to achieve it. A woman can bring a man to euphoric heights by simply grinding her ass and/or cooch on his face... but what about those men who can't get a kinky-kinda woman? Maybe their woman is the vanilla type who only likes to do it missionary style, or maybe they can't even get a woman at all. They're left to prowl internet forums, begging for pleasure from people who may or may not be women, or even human (spambots). For those poor, lost souls it is indeed a sad and oftentimes hopeless state of affairs. Musically we changed things up a bit on this track with a mix of clean and (pained) distorted vocals over a bleak pseudo-industrial backdrop.
Track #8: "The Bleating Hordes" - I have a zero tolerance policy with regard to ignorance, weakness and kowtowing to the powers that be. How many people vote for a Democrat or a Republican and tell themselves that they're really accomplishing something? If those people aren't sheep then I don't know who or what is. They're more sheeplike than actual sheep, for fuck's sake. I'll never be like that, not for so long as I have a breath in my body and cells in my brain. This track is balls-to-the-wall thrash metal fury.
Track #9: "Splendiferous Lass (A Song For Suenaga)" - As the title indicates I wrote this as a love
song for my dear wife Suenaga. It is a ballad in the purest form, with my clean vocals accompanied by piano and acoustic guitar. Lyrically it commemorates our meeting as children, marrying soon thereafter and embarking upon a wonderful journey together as husband and wife. Why did I write a ballad in the midst of all this harsh metallic clatter and political commentary? I needed to be reminded of something positive, something beautiful, a reason to believe that life is worth living. Plus, the woman deserves it.
Track #10: "Persuasive Manifesto" - I mentioned the likes of Limbaugh and Beck earlier. This track is an indictment of them, people like them (Coulter, Hannity, O'Reilly, etc.) and the people who follow and support them. We live in a society where megalomaniacs are able to achieve fame and fortune by indoctrinating the masses with messages of hate and intolerance. It is a sick, sick culture which I utterly despise. This track is blisteringly fast, appropriately angry and exceedingly abrasive. It's death metal with a heart.
Track #11: "Bulletproof" (La Roux cover) - This is the album closer, and it's a cover to boot. I must admit to enjoying this song, despite my preference for metal and heavy rock music. How can anyone resist such a catchy tune? Hell even if I could resist it I owed it to Sue to cover this song after I got drunk and released that experimental single awhile back, the one that Obama liked. We didn't want to do just a straight cover so we added some electro-pop fuzz and a dancefloor companion that will titillate ravers and urban club junkies alike.
There you have it! A track-by-track preview of the new Thick Chewy Crust album! I apologize if I rambled at times, it's part of my nature. I'm proud of this record and I'm staking my reputation on it. It is our heaviest, most politically charged and most fully realized (in terms of achieving an artistic concept) album to date. I'm sure that there will be criticism but I'm prepared for that. My instincts tell me that this record will stand the test of time and my instincts are rarely wrong. They've led me this far. Until next time, Crustaceans... peace! I'll see you on tour!
P.S. We're offering a 15% discount on all orders from the online store that include a pre-order of the new album!
Album Details
"Postcards From The Asylum; Or, My Life With The Lunatic Fringe" track listing:
1. "Discordianism (The Religion Of Chaos)"
2. "Do We Owe Them A Living?"
3. "The Caucasians Of Shame"
4. "Gender Roles Are So Passé"
5. "God Is A Wilted Flower"
6. "Invade, Overthrow & Occupy (Liberation, The American Way)"
7. "Please... Sit On My Face!"
8. "The Bleating Hordes"
9. "Splendiferous Lass (A Song For Suenaga)"
10. "Persuasive Manifesto"
11. "Bulletproof" (La Roux cover)
Sounds like:
+ + Single Details
"God Is A Wilted Flower" track listing:
1. "God Is A Wilted Flower"
2. "Please... Sit On My Face!"
3. "The Bleating Hordes"
Edited by user 22 February 2011 01:04:54(UTC)
| Reason: Not specified
