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  "I Did Cool Shit Today"
Hey fam, it's been a minute. Just gonna take the time to thank everyone on tumblr for continuing to be the geniuses you guys are and stanning for me, even when I'm nowhere to be found. What kind of everlasting squad.
Guess what? Today I went to a festival and fucked up their whole timeline (soz lol). I haven't been on stage in a minute and I'm really proud of everything I did today. There's an extra performance that they didn't stream so I thought I'd just give it to you guys exclusively. Also decided that tonight, stage 4 should happen as well, even if at a last minute surprise show (which you can get the tickets at here) so enjoy and give me all your coins. Promise to answer ashitload of questions if you guys want.
You guys like my picture this time around? These days I'm really feeling the basic bitch at yet another festival look. It's lit 🔥
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 "EXHIBIT:QUIET:INSIST....SUBMIT coming soon"
AIKYA BALAN: FALL FESTIVAL
VIDEO[center] STAGE 1: EXHIBIT
Everything darkens and smoke rises. The electronic instruments on stage begins to play a murky intro, setting the mood with their rising sounds. Quickly, it transforms into the instrumental of HISS and not long after, Aikya Balan is seen, rising from a platform below the stage, waiting as the crowd reacts, and then dropping even lower on the floor, crawling--no, slithering to her mic. Once she picks up, it starts to feel as if we're waiting for her to get up and truly start her performance. But she doesn't. She stays right there, looks the crowd in it's eyes and swiftly turns over to her back, raising the microphone to her lips. Once she starts singing it's clear that she won't be using any backing track. She doesn't even have back up singers.It's just her sharp small voice beginning to flow over the crowd. It sounds very confined over the sensual band playing with her. Already it's "one of those" performances, where the artist, the band and the crowd take an emotional journey through Aikya Balan's story with the power of music. Real music.
(There's nothing to run from)
We both know (this is where you belong)
(Yet and still, frozen still)
I know you always had a song on the tip of your tongue
The thought feels like venom
(The way you'd choke up and give in to your own self inflictions)
They've always been attracted to the way your scales shone silver
Maybe I was stupid, threw us in the Sun knowing that you'd whither
Doesn't matter that I've never had the mind, doesn't matter that you've never had the ears
(This is the hiss you'll always hear)
She takes her time thrusting her body over the floor whilst she's on her back, really becoming one with the soft yet powerful beat. Her words are sung timidly as she truly opens up for the first time about the conflict of having a social anxiety but wanting so badly to be the performer she was born to be. Quite ironic that she chooses the composition to open up her performance at a festival full of thousands, going from lines like "We both know this is where you belong" to "Maybe I was stupid, threw us in the Sun knowing that you'd whither" in just a matter of seconds. Aikya's performance itself seems to be a bit indecisive itself as she continues to throw herself around the floor of the stage and attempts to stand but only falls to her knees, looking at the crowd and reaching out to them only to snatch her hand away and look to the left of her. The passion in her eyes tells everyone what they need to know, this is as unchoreographed as staged choreography gets, her emotions truly pouring out as she puts herself on display. As she sings n her song, Aikya is exploiting herself to test herself, to believe in herself. And the minute she tries, she falls flat on her back. It's almost like the words of the melody hisses to her body, making her tighten up and cringe way as she forces herself to face 2 truths at once.
This is an exhibit. Whether she likes it or not.
(There's no one to run from)
We both know (you're the only one)
(Here alone, all along)
You've always had a song, but you went and bit your tongue
Can you feel the venom?
(The way you'd choke up and give in to your own self inflictions)
They've always been attracted to the way your scales shone silver
Maybe I was stupid, threw us in the Sun knowing that you'd whither
Doesn't matter that I've never had the mind, doesn't matter that you've never had the ears
(This is the hiss you'll always hear)
The opening song swirls to it's ending, the instruments get heavy as Aikya begins to yell at herself, the last of the lines slurring together, putting her in a daze before they come to an abrupt stop. And so does her performance, all lights shutting completely out.
(If you keep up this rattle, you'll never win a battle)
(You could break free from these shackles, if only you'd tackle..)
(The real problem, is you've never been the brightest)
(Led yourself into the dark, still don't know who you're fighting)
(Watch the crowd fill in, witness the room close in)
(Feel your throat tighten)
Aikya...
Can you breathe?
Coming of age has never been harder for Aikya. But as soon as the performance starts back up again with a quick flash of red lights, it seems that this newer, sexier, less vulnerable Aikya takes stage and proves that maybe, just maybe, coming of age has never been easier.
It's hard to forget this was the same girl who spilled out her every weakness on stage. Maybe this was the side of herself that she was in continuous conflict with, the bad girl inside who loved stages and stepped foot onto them with a look on her face that showed she wanted to take vengeance upon it. Aikya is still on the floor, just this time in new gear. She violently swings her arms around to the song, the short dance interlude leading her to roll around the floor.
Her show has officially begun, the insecurities have been stated and all that's left to do is prove herself. To herself.
"It's your turn, it's your turn, it's your turn...next."
Says the multiple voices rolling into the audio system. They fill up the venue as Aikya begins to dance as if she's claiming the stage as her territory, giving off looks to the bystanders as if they're intruding. Making her way around finally on her feet, she crumps her way through the performance, only falling to her knees to smack the floor and bounce right back up. She truly shows her dominance, and in the most animalistic way possible way. It isn't long until she results to twirling around like a fragile ballerina, a contrast to the whole setting. Another platform rises close to her, a shirtless man sitting, watching and waiting for her to twirl over to her and fall into his arms. She lays back gracefully as his hands quickly strips her and puts on a new outfit. As this happens the melody to Something Like That plays.
STAGE 2: QUIET
As soon as she returns to the stage, she's dressed in her 3rd costume of the night. Still sitting in the man's arms and looking deep into his eyes, the male dancer violently throws Aikya down off of his lap. The crowd reacts with gasps, but she calmly picks up the mic off of the floor yet again and sits up on her knees, facing him as she softly sings to him. Aikya no where near shows the same desperation she showed in the first song in Master Key. It's somber instrumental floods the stage as Aikya just looks down at the man's feet, singing helplessly but effortlessly, showing that in a way, no help is truly wanted. She's accustomed the neglective man who proves himself abusive too as he raises his hand multiple times to the beat as she quietly insists that she'll be here for him even as he leaves her. Yet it's clear through the performance that the man she's singing to doesn't want to hear about her assertive loyalty.
Sitting quietly and serving as his personal sex doll is her only job.
Stay... the only thing I beg of you
Break? What am I supposed to do?
You seeped into my hole
Sought for my soul
Without you I'm never whole
What's a shoe without its sole?
When the silky bass rolls into her performance, giving the situation even more weight, she begins to move suggestively across the floor. Her moves are indeed sexy but are hard for anyone but the man in front of her to sexualize. She moves her hips fluidly whilst on her knees, practically humping the stage but she herself is dead in the face. Because her job isn't to express. Her job is to stay quiet. He dances behind Aikya, both of them in tune as he dances in circles around her.
No matter, here for you
Forever
Love me, you said you'd always do
I think you did
You seeped into my hole
Getting me hooked was key
Without you I'm never whole
What's a hole without a key?
Her mellow voice floats on top of the instruments, the melody fading through the performance in a light that truly drags it out. Suddenly, the man drops next down to her, completely mesmerized by her now repetitive moves. He crawls over to Aikya in almost slow motion, the performance nearing an end while Balan continues to mimic a robot of sexual sorts. The final note in the song is hit, and suddenly dragged out for 15 seconds straight, both of the dancers on the floor dramatizing their movements, making them slower than time itself after eventually Aikya lands back in the arms of the dancer.
STAGE 3: INSIST
Aikya stands completely still on stage in an all black dress as the lights dim yet again. She raises the microphone to her lips and the instrumental immediately starts up. Aikya and her atmospheric symphony gently begins to sway from side to side as she once agans sings hesitantly but this time, seemingly full with hope. The end of her phrases are all dragged out, she seems more nervous now than ever, her body moving fluidly but her face once again telling a completely different story. Her eyes widen when she begins her line with an ambitious thought but finishes it with a passive one.
Just maybe for once, Aikya insists. And rightfully so. But even she's not stupid enough to dream.
Her voice is completely different than how she's sounded all day, the contrived feel finally going away as she sings full out, putting everything she has out on the table. Yet somehow, her mindset is exactly the same. She's just as indecisive as she was when she performed her first song, only this time the thing holding her back isn't an anxiety, just reason. The first time Aikya's ever truly stood still on stage, she makes plans to end her first time at Fall Festival not with another one of her famous bangs, but vocals. She keeps her posture, carefully breathing as she proves that she is in fact a vocalist. Criticized for her whispering, Aikya's natural voice unravels itself into an operatic style. Ideally, it pans out well over the depthful instrumentalists behind her, playing just as mellowly as she's delivering her voice. She finds an obvious comfort within her higher range, taking the lyrics that were written to be dragged out and turning them into soft notes that leave an impress and leave an impression on the mind, even if just for a moment. Seeing Aikya in her less controversial state does leave the mind to wander. This would be Aikya if she was what we wanted her to be. This would be Aikya if she didn't fall in love with pimps, write songs about rape and wasn't scared of interaction with most--if not all--individuals. But in the middle of that thought, the idea clicks that maybe..she is already this Aikya. The lights fade into different shades of white, blue and red...maybe these shades and hues that haunt, retrain but ultimately complete Aikya. Her last song fades out with slowing violins and light riffs of the cello. Her eyes remain closed, but the arch of her eyebrows and the tilting of her head makes it seem as if she's still somewhere--even if nowhere--looking for confirmation. Of herself.
Take my hand, why don't we save this dance?
There I go again, entertaining my own imagination
Maybe I've had to much to drink
But let's pretend that you mean more to me
And that you've got time that you're tired of wasting
That we've got a secret I don't want to keep
That I spoke my words of sorrow and despite what followed
I just wanted you to tell the world
Because I was looking for so much more
Take my hands, it's not like you do in my dreams...ha
Humor me, let's talk alternate endings
Where you had scars but I thought we were the treatment
Where you had a heart I would've known how to treat
Where yes, all you needed was love but when it wasn't enough
I just wanted you to tell the world
And not just because I was looking for more
How would it feel to know that I've never doubted you?
That this love has lived strong, even without you
But somehow I still just wanted you to tell the world
There's nothing left to play, yet our melody remains
We're stuck on replay, stuck on replay
I've inhaled your name, exhaled our fate
I'm stuck on replay, stuck on replay
And I just want you to tell the world
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