interview time
interviewer extraordinaire ,adam slurry.
erich hess with random groupies
erich:jesus christ.what happened to you,man?!
interviewer: what do you mean?
erich:dude,the 80's are long over.
interviewer:so says the man who looks like a "happy days" reject?
erich:*combs pomp* maybe,but at least i'm not wearing pastel.
interviewer:...where's karoliena? i was really hoping to get to know her better.
erich:with that hair?! good luck,man. karoliena is doing some recording work for some solo stuff.
interviewer: solo stuff? you guys barely have a release to your names.isnt it a little early for breaking out into solo territory?
erich:the woman is far more than just a bass player for a crap psycho band.her solo work will blow your socks off.why do you think we included socks with every "clockwork elvis"?
interviewer:what can we expect from her?
erich:it wouldnt be right for me to tell you.you'll have to get that from her.
interviewer:ok i gotta ask.whats with all the elvis? you sorta look like him,you sorta sound like him,you always reference him.
erich:truth be told.i dont even care much for his music all that much.little richard or chuck berry should be the king of rock n roll.but elvis,as a man fascinates me.the man embodies unabashed tackyness,excess in all it's forms,karate ass kickings.....the list goes on and on.much like the concept of jesus,elvis was man who was whatever you wanted him to be.and much like jesus,this is what killed him.....supposedly.
interviewer:so....you think he's still alive?
erich:no.but the film "bubba hotep" raises some very good questions....and answers one: yes,elvis can kick a mummy's ass.
interviewer:"clockwork elvis" was panned by critics.some went as far as calling it a joke.any comments?
erich:nah.critics,much like interviewers,know fuck all about anything.they toss some big words around and expect people to think like they do.if they had a shred of knowledge,they'd be making music instead of writing about it.
interviewer:beyond belief,the war bride has been fairly successful.why is that?
erich:people know real when they see it.people want music by musicans who less time on their hair,and more playing the shit outta their instruments.
interviewer:*glances at erich's immaculate pomp*
erich:shit,i dont even have to comb it anymore.there's enough murrays in there to choke a bull moose.i wake up with it looking like this....now,like i was saying. the war bride brings the element of danger back to rock n roll.we dont play up on a stage.we play right on the floor.nothing separates us from the fans.a war bride show is intimate,it's up close and personal.it's free drinks for all,and a healthy dose of wreckless disregard for safety.
interviewer:wow.you remind me of those artists that attach great meaning to a peice of shit upon toilet paper.
erich:if i wasnt drunk off my ass right now....
interviewer:you'd what? sit there and talk more crap?
erich:that's it ,80's man! *erich leaps off chair and punches adam right in the throat* FEEL THE POWER OF KARATE ELVIS,MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
interviewer:*gasping for air*
erich:see? like i said.what the good elvis giveth,he taketh away.
