The whole point of this song was to draw comparisons between people who go to church every Sunday to the people who go to the club every Saturday. Not even in a disrespectful way either, I'm not trying to call either of these groups out or anything. I'm just making a statement: we're all humans, we're all desperately trying to figure this shit out. We're searching for salvation in different ways and either way, it's pretty pathetic.



Church is soooo long and usually, when you go to the club, you stay all night. We waste hours of our days in these settings soaking up these lifestyles, whichever lifestyle it may be. All just to hear someone tell you how to live. You got rappers in the speakers yelling, "Fuck bitches, get money!" and you got people at church speaking, telling you to pray a lot and read your scripture. To be in church and not really feeling the message is heavily looked down upon, you come off as extremely entitled and "too good for the word". It's the same thing in the club, if you not shaking some ass then bitch, what the fuck? Go home. There's not really any excuses or exceptions, not much of anything but the intake of your environment. You're supposed to turn up in the club or let go and let God in the church, it doesn't leave room to question and think about anything. As someone who overthinks and questions everything, I think a system like that is a whole ass joke.



Whenever people drag religion, they always imply that religious folk are mindless and brainwashed, and the same is thought of party animals and club hoppers. I disagree with both. I think plenty of people realize the faults in the ways they live but just choose to anyway. They chose their path, they're gonna stick with it.



This song was originally written about alcoholism, where the person was basically like, "who needs the Bible when you got Henny?". This is kinda where that shows most. When I say 'the cracks of 2 rocks' I'm talking about the faults within the ten commandments as well as the literal cracks in ice when you drink something on the rocks. Both the club and church are full of sinners and stained glass is like the decorative glass in Catholic churches as well as like actual glass cups with water spots from alcohol and shit. Check all this wordplay, sis.



I HATE this line but chile... I'm mostly referring to the songs that like literally tell you how to dance and obviously holy scripture. The 'Simon' in these scenarios are the DJs and the speakers at church, whoever they may be. If I'm wording this weird it's because I'm trying to say preachers without actually saying preachers. I'm not trying to make this all about Christianity...they're not the only religion and aren't the only fuck ups. I'm tryna loosen my grip on their edges. I'm an equalist honey, we universally drag religion 'round here.



I think one of the one reasons why someone would be like, "damn, I definitely HAVE to go to church/the club this week!" is because something has happened and they need to forget about it and receive confirmation that everything's gonna be okay. We go in wanting to forgive and forget but come out like, "Migos and I have decided that it's within my best interests to call up my shooters." A lot of our music and even holy scripture is low-key vengeful as hell, it doesn't help us at all. We take from it whatever we want, regardless of what they might actually be trying to say, which is usually not even all that better.



My biggest problem with religion is that I used to be religious. Like, I really wasted years of my life trying to be accepted by something I KNEW didn't exist, me and that nigga named God always gonna have beef, bitch. This verse from me is basically my past semi-religious self as well as my present party animal self making excuses.



As I said before, the whole point of this song was to point out how everyone just wants confirmation and salvation. What I'm tryna say here is that as a human I can't find it in myself to actually believe in myself. I need to believe in somebody... something, you know? Just like anybody, I wanna know why we're here, I wanna know the point and if I can't find the answers I need, I'll take what I can get. Being me, that mindset doesn't last long, it's against everything I do believe.



World wide web...connect...webbing [giggles]. Covers up.....different dressing....church clothes, club clothes... I know, I'm a genius. Lil Niña wid da wordplay always at it!!!



Everybody knows that hella people are excluded from the church but hella people are also excluded from the clubs too! Broke niggas don't have a reason to be happy in the club if they can even get in. They matter too, y'all! Be mindful!



This line is sort of where I fall out of faith. Whenever you start to lose belief in your lifestyle, you're always reminded of all these success stories. "Moses made it off the Earf, Migos made it out the club alive", and it's just like okay cool but that question of 'when is it going to be my turn?' is just left lingering in the air for soooo long.

---

Okay well, I'm just gonna say it! This song is about Aikya Balan! We didn't really start telling people until the end but we were together for almost 2 years? It was on and off but it counts. I kinda ran back and forth between her and Brandon, it was a messy era in my life. When I got cheated on live television, I was in a few moods and when Aikya got eliminated from the Big Brother house, we started working together more, and things just sort of fell in place. She was there for me through it all and never felt like a rebound. We had something special and we both knew it wasn't going to go anywhere but we wanted to see how far we could take it.



People always ask me if I like the lights on or off and my answer is always both. Turn the TV on and let's fuck to some paid programming!



Aikya is as much of a freak as her music implies. Except she's the exact opposite as she writes... It's so weird. Small girl, small voice but extremely dominant. I was BLESSED, honey.



You could tell me how you feel about me all day but I won't believe any of it until you actually reach out to me. Showing that you trust me and care about what I have to say...that's all the confirmation I need. Since I know what it means to me, I always try to reach out to the people I love but I can never really accept their help and advice. They don't really know me. No one really knows me. I echo that idea throughout the whole album because I really am hiding so much from everyone and I'm tired of hoes playing like they know me. You don't, I swear to God. At the time, Aikya was the person who knew the most about me. Everyone was getting 5 percent of me while she was getting at least 40. That scared me a little, she knew too much. I was always waiting for her to throw her hands up and decide enough was enough but she didn't... Well, she kind of didn't get the chance to. I ran her away.



Sex if fun, sex is great. I love sex, honestly. But I also LIVE for some pillow talk. To lay down next to an intellectual​ and just let your mouth move while your mind runs and your heart races... It's such a euphoric​ feeling for me. After sex, some girls need you to tell them that you're in love but I like to talk about politics and astrophysics and aura colors and shit. I kind of miss that with Aikya, everything she has to say is interesting. Aikya in her entirety is just so intriguing.



When the whole thing with Mariko went down, I just told myself that I was going to stick to myself and stay away from relationships but then... Aikya. [laughs] Do I really have to say more? What was so great was that it all felt backwards. We were so on and off because she didn't want to be pinned down. She'd literally break it off just so she could start fucking other people again and it all just made me want her more and more. I love a challenge, she did too. I feel like that's what kept us going for as long as we did.



I mean, I guess if you know a relationship is gonna end it's probably best not to waste your time on it but I find it a much better alternative to feeling like a relationship is gonna last forever just to find out it won't. I was just really comfortable with our status and even our fate, I knew what it meant to us, I could brace myself for the impact and we'd both recover quickly.



This is why I don't have sex to music! I don't wanna turn on my favorite song later and think about all that!! I'd rather YOU turn on your favorite show. I love all the different shadows shows cast in the dark....all the colors, all the movement. It's like a real live Snapchat filter, beautiful shit.



I'm just so selfish, I know how I am but I let people date me anyway. [Sighs] I compare being in love with me to playing in the sand because I imagine it's very annoying and there's nothing more annoying than sand. Ughhhh, it's why I can't stand going to the beach. I've been living by beaches all my life, sand gets everywhere and is so hard to get off. Definition of a nuisance, yo.

---

I think this is my favorite song from this album. Mostly because it was inspired by the most influential trap group of our time, Migos. Legends, I know. I love the overall vibe of the song and the lyrics are so casual but like... at a second glance, you can tell that they're much deeper than what the groovy beat implies. The song is about my entire love life for the past 4 years or so, it's not really focused on just one person as the first verse kinda lets on.



I hate having to wait for other people. It's mostly why I do everything by myself and maybe with those who I know for sure have a fast output. Putting my plans on hold while someone else gets their shit together? Over my dead body. The slows are such a burden, literal cumstains. Even having to wait for my parents or older brothers to do things for me when I was young made me want to punch holes in the wall. My grown ass definitely don't tolerate it now.



I wrote this with Brandon Grey on my mind. I don't know if I attract these kinds of people or what but niggas keep going ghost on me and it's so annoying. I'm not needy and I'm rarely in my feelings. All I want is CONSISTENT dick! How is that hard??? Just show up! It sucks to feel that way in something that's so loosely defined as a relationship. I never wanna come off as clingy or anything but sometimes I wish it wasn't so hard to say, "Can you stay around for a bit? I kinda like how you make me feel."



You can talk a lot of shit about the decisions I make but at the end of the day...I did it all with a fair amount of sex appeal and you bitches can't take that away from me!



I actually don't buy a lot of overpriced things. Designers send me a lot of free stuff and whatever I don't have I just steal from Coke. But I do go all out for sneakers...I'm a big sneakerhead! Jay's, Adidas, Nikes, Yeezy's, KD's... WHATEVERS. Gotta catch 'em all!



I don't get rejected a lot so when I do, I don't really know how to deal with it. It's more like a challenge to me, like, "okay you aren't dumb enough to get involved with me NOW but wait a month, sis!" I swear I'm like some frat boy, except not...rapey.



My favorite marathons are Golden Girls marathons and Maude marathons. Maude is such an underrated classic. I also love The Jeffersons marathons, I mean who doesn't? Amen, a classic. 227, yes yes yes! And you can't forget about Night Court marathons! They're rare but they're out there!



At this point in my life, it's become really hard not to notice the pattern here. I keep getting the same result and every equation shares a common denominator... Me. Only so many people can leave you before you start blaming yourself. I think I choose the wrong people on purpose. I like putting myself through this, I feed off of draining my own energy somehow. I somehow convince myself it's real every time and act surprised when I realize it's not.



I think the most stressful thing in a relationship is when you accidentally blur the lines and realize it's becoming more than lust. You don't know if the person feels the same and you don't know how easily you'll be able to get over it. You just know that it's not fun no mo'.



WOOH, THE TEA IS EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD TODAY!



I'm always super dramatic about everything but at the end of the day, I know these no-good fools are gonna come crawling right back. And you're damn right, I'ma give them that second chance for the millionth time!



Honestly, if there is a god up there, they're not killing me off no time soon. I have so many more ways to fuck up left! I know whatever is watching over us is getting their LIFE at the mess of me. I'm probably their favorite antagonist. I keep the show moving, I get thicker with the plot. That bitch knows better.



Between fame and success, my life has been really euphoric. I really feel like the only thing that keeps me grounded is my love life. It never fails to knock me back to my senses. Just when I'm starting to have fun too! Ain't that a bitch?



If I was a man, people would call me the greatest ever. I'm more than just an established rapper...I've been out here busting my ass for the Hip Hop community and I don't get half the respect I deserve because I rap about dick and sing about feelings. I really don't have anything to prove but I'm still out here craving that recognition. It's never enough for me.



There's just something so soothing about having questions with no real answers, and at the same time, it's so stressful. I don't like to think about me so distracting myself from doing that by trying to decipher another person is my kink. I want someone who's gonna keep me on my toes and leave me high and dry. I can't fuck with no boring hoes.



SIGH.

---

If I could offer anything valuable to anybody on this earth, it's a strong friendship. I'm talking a whole ass support system. It's like I live vicariously through my friends, I'm happy when they're happy, I'm mad when they're mad. I notice though that when people are having a hard time they like to take it out on the people close to them. People think that since I'm so bold that I can handle whatever they send my way and won't take it to the heart. And I really try not to, but I always end up feeling like I'm letting people walk all over me. This song was about my frustration with that. Because in a way, I am letting people get away with trying me so that I don't have to burn bridges and I shouldn't have to even do that.



I always want to make the people around me happy and comfortable. I never want to burden anybody with my problems, everybody's got problems, ya know? I just wish every now and then someone would be as selfless. I need an outlet too. It's not healthy for me to keep it all in.



You ever feel like you're dedicating all your time and effort to someone who couldn't care less? Welcome to the team, bih! We winning...at losing in life!



You know I had to sprinkle some bold ass lies on top of this joint. It's not Niña if there ain't at least 5 alternative facts present.



There's a huge difference between debating and arguing. I like to debate but the minute I feel it getting heated, I quickly pull away from the conversation. Arguments are full of so much emotion and passion and they freak me out. I'm not gonna argue with people I care about, especially if I'm holding in a lot of emotions. I have the tendency to hurt feelings and I don't wanna hurt the people I fuck with. After a while it makes you question yourself though. Am I really just trying to stop myself from hurting people or am I too much of a pussy to say how I really feel?



Honestly, people are lucky that I'm mostly numb to the pain they cause me. I don't take it to heart, I take it piece by piece and let it build up slowly. I find it extremely hard to forgive people but I rarely act on my grudges. That's the only thing that's keeping the peace in me, or better wording would probably be, it's the only reason why I'm not swinging on hoes at the moment. Inside, it's a shitshow.



Y'all I really do feel like I'm underrated! People really out here leaving me like they never cared that I was in their life in the first place! How can I make an impact everywhere but on a person's heart?

---

I've never gotten vocally trained or anything, my singing comes straight from the soul. Now add the fact that I smoke 3 blunts a day and you're damn right, I'm not a good vocalist. That doesn't matter to me though, I can hold a note and carry out a melody. I'm a rapper first but people like my singing, so I do it from time to time.



When I write something, it comes from me but it's usually not necessarily about me. Everything I say in a song is something I want to say but there are those songs where I'm really personal and there are others where I'm just writing what people expect me to say. A big part of good songwriting stems from tending to a caricature. A lot of the songs I've made are vague sex bops and dark tracks about this sick sad world, and etc. This was one of those times where I just wanted to write about something that came directly from Niña instead of Rum.



I wrote this while I was at a Denny's and mad as fuck at the world.



There's nothing more relaxing than rolling a blunt and blazing. Just sinking into the smoke and forgetting about all your problems. It's so therapeutic. It's nothing crazy but it IS the perfect dosage of 'fuck it' that I need in my life. I don't really do other stuff no mo. I don't really have to.



My life has been trash for 2 decades and some change. It doesn't surprise when shit hits the fan. But nowadays I got the whole world looking at me and I can't be as careless. I got shit to lose!



From an early age, I've always cared so much more about how the people around me felt rather than how I felt. It wasn't like back then I knew I was going to be a lost cause, that's just the first thing I taught myself to do, I don't know why. Everybody I cared about was just so unhappy and I wanted to make them happy so bad. I thought making them feel better would make me feel better but the whole time I was just neglecting myself. I guess that's why I'm so aggressive about putting myself first no matter what. I HATE that I put my friends and family before me but I just gotta make sure they're good at all times...can't if I'm out here wilin'.



Ah, yes. Mankind's most useless and arguably, worst, invention.



Do I look like a damn Aries to y'all? I don't make up problems out of nowhere and feel emotions just to feel them! If I'm mad or sad, you better know it's for a DAMN GOOD reason. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve a lot but in those few times that I do? Don't discredit my emotions. You'll get your whole ass neck snapped playing with me like that.



TURN THAT SHIT UP, FAM! I could've been a good person by now but y'all had me fucked up these last 5 years!



It's kind of bittersweet. Like I'm 100% giving up on trying to be a good person but at the same time, I'm giving the real me another chance.



I think when I tried to change myself, I went about it all wrong. The whole time I just lied a lot and hid my true feelings..it was so unprogressive. People around me probably thought it was for the better but I felt so empty. Real change is supposed to make you feel whole.



All of my greatest bonds start off as loose strings. It's kind of annoying. The whole point is so I don't get tripped up over one person and lose focus or worse, hurt them. I always end up doing that anyway.



Can we just talk about this run?? Ughhh, I really did that. I'm such a cute singer when I wanna be!



This is a reoccurring theme throughout the album. I have a family to feed, a career to keep, fans to make proud. I can't just be out here cutting a fool anymore. I spent all these years complaining about how no one had faith in me and bitch, now somebody does.