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                OOC: This is a diary for Jimmy Sullivan, guitarist of Black Gold Reign. Figured since everyone's kinda doing personal rps, I would too. This is set as him talking to a diary. The cast (a.k.a. partners in crime) :Jimmy Sullivan: Lead guitarist for BGR, main character in this play of hell. 
 Corey Di'Antonio: Drummer of BGR, Jimmy's toxic twin, who shares every addiction - except heroin.
 
 Matt Carver: Rhythm guitarist/singer of BGR
 
 David Demmel: Bassist of BGR
 
 Christa Sullivan: Jimmy's mother
 
 Jenny Comer: Jimmy's little sister
 
 Tom Reese: Jimmy's grandfather
 
 Jason Duke: Long time drug dealer for Jimmy
 
 Luke McKay: Manager of BGR
 
 Tim Thaler: Luke McKay's partner
 
 Tuesday: Jimmy's girlfriend, occasional Playboy model
 
 Chris Knox: A&R man who got BGR signed
 
 Fred Saunders: Ex-Hell's Angel, head security for BGR
 
 Randy Angel: Former junkie turned drug counselor
 
 Brian Hanson: Ex-guitarist of The Wicker Man and Jimmy's "little brother he never had"
 
 Sally McLaughgin: Former girlfriend of Brian Hanson
 
 Karen Dumont: Record label employee
 
 Lucas Smith: Neighbor and occasionally Jimmy's partner in crime
 
 Rick Jones: Photographer for BGR
 
 Jim Bryce: BGR Publicist
 
 Tim Luzzi: Jimmy's guitar tech
 
 Mark Morton: Guitarist for Lamb Of God and boyhood hero of Jimmy's (OOC: I don't give a damn that he's a real person)
 
 Travis Heafy: Producer of 'Archetype'
 
 James Michael: Jimmy's occasional song-writing partnerDecember:December 25th, 2009 -
 Long Beach, 7:30 P.M.
 Merry Christmas,    Well, that's what people say at Christmas, right? Except normally, they have someone to say it to. They have their friends and family all around them. They haven't been crouched naked under a Christmas tree with a needle in their arm like an insane person in a mansion in Long Beach. 
 They're not out of their minds and writing in a diary and they're not watching their holiday spirit coagulating in a spoon. I didn't speak to a single person today.... I thought of calling Randy, but why should I ruin his Christmas?
 
 I guess I've decided to start a diary again for a few reasons....
 
 1.I have no friends left
 
 2. So I can read back and remember what I did the day before.
 
 3. So if I die, at least I leave a paper trail of my life (nice lil suicide note).
 
 Merry Christmas.... it's just you and me, diary. Welcome to my life.December 26th, 2009 -
 Long Beach, 2:10 A.M.     Jason came over again today. I was touched.... so there is a Santa Clause after all. He came mooching in, with his greasy James Dean hair and his junkie eyes that are sunk so deep in his elongated face that he looks like he's wearing makeup, and he stood by the tree and asked me how my Christmas had been. Like he cares..... like he doesn't know already that it was exactly the same as his. Sometimes Jason pisses me off when he tries to make small talk. He asked me how much gear I wanted, and I asked, how much have you got? And he gave me this contemptuous, sneering look and said, that must be nice...
 
 His Betty Page-wannabe Goth girlfriend Anastasia isn't much better. Oh, she's nice enuff, but I know on the inside I'm just her meal ticket to an easier, softer life. I know she tells Jason to jump when I call cause she, more than he, wants the money. Not just for the junk, they make enuff of me to maintain their cheap little habits, but she likes to decorate their cheap one-room rat's nest with the extra money they have left over. That's the real reason she demands they come at my beck and call... she likes the extra cash for thrift shops and second hand stores.
 
 I see her as a sort of Suzie Homemaker from Hell, but it's all just a fantasy - she's stuck with a habit too....December 27th, 2009 -
 Long Beach, 4:10 A.M.     The best part of freebase is before the first hit. I love that moment, right before I put that glass pipe to my lips.... that moment when everything is sane, and the craving, the salivating, the excitement all feel fresh and innocent. It's like foreplay... the ache that's always better than the orgasm.
 
 Yet as soon as I hit the pipe, within 30 seconds all hell breaks lose in my brain.... and I keep on doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it, and I can't stop. Every day that I sit here and write, it's always the same. So - why? Why do I do this? I hate it.... I hate it so much, but I love it more.
 
 The worst part of freebase is running out. But I have a new jones - speed balls of any kind. The junk just isn't enough anymore.... I feel like I'm only halfway there....December 28th, 2009 -
 Long Beach, 9:40 P.M.     After I binged last night - or was it tonight? - I was convinced yet again there were people coming to get me. It was more than just shadows and voices, more than just fantasies.... it was real, and I was scared to my core.
 
 My bones were shaking.... my heart was pounding..... I thought I was going to explode. I'm glad I have you to talk to, to write this down.... I tried to keep it all together, but then I gave into the madness and became one with my insanity.....
 
 I always end up in the closet in my bedroom. Let me tell you about that place, my closet. It's more than a closet - it's a haven for me. It's where I keep my dope and where I keep my gun. I know when I'm in there I'm safe, at least until I get too high. I can't be out in the house - there are too many windows and I know I'm being watched. Right now it seems impossible that cops are peering in from the trees outside or people are looking at me thru the peephole at the front door. But when the drugs kick in I can't control my mind......
 
 Today, last night feels like a life time ago. But the sick thing is I could do it again tonight.
 Edited by user 08 March 2010 14:08:33(UTC)
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