erich: is he offering an excuse?

erich:*takes a drink from his flask* care for some fuck it juice? do you think you got it wrong? i dont know mr oscar,so i am lax to tell you what i think.

erich:*shakes his head a little and starts to speak,but
doesnt*you could be right miss greene. other than that,how was your weekend? * rolls tape on tge arm of couch*

Eilidh sits quiet for a minute.

"Hmmmm? Oh...it was...alright..."

Eilidh nods gently.

"Sure."

Eilidh nods.

"I do...I just dont know how I'm s'posed to act Mister..."

She nods.

"Yeah....but I never done this before."

erich slides off the couch and lays on the floor. he puts his hands behind his head and stares up at the ceiling. he then occupys himself with burning holes in the carpet,then covering the holes with duct tape patches. he does this for near an hour.stepping back,he reveals his tape and burnt carpet holes reveal a portrait of chairman mao with the words "made in china". knocking back a swig of his flask,he looks quite satisfied with himself.

erich is laying in his bed,twiddling his thumbs and looking from wall to wall.he pulls out a plush monkey from under his pillow.he starts playing with it,and making it speak in a julia child voice .

erich :god damn i am bored. what do you think i should do little monkey?

monkey: drink and smoke?

erich: nah.im still fairly drunk,and i must be high.im talking to a stuffed monkey.

monkey: or you are bat shit crazy.

erich: that could be true.that could be true. what else you got today?

monkey: sacrifice eidilh to satan?

erich:*shakes head* tempting.but without her,who would i speak to?

monkey: you could always jerk the gerkin.

erich:hmmmm...no. i sorta broke the door and now it doesnt close all the way.

monkey: burn the house down?

erich: i think i signed a "i will not burn the house down" contract when i came to the house. all i got in this world is my balls and my word. and i dont break em for anyone.

monkey: jeez,you're picky. be bored then,asshole.

erich:NEVER MOUTH OFF TO ME,PRIMATE!!!!

erich takes out his stiletto and slices the monkey open,spilling his cotton guts.

monkey: you....violated....ape....law...

erich: you're lucky thats all i violated!


erich then cuts open his bed and throws the stuffing all over. he does this to all the unoccupied beds,until the room is covered with bed stuffing. he forms some of it into a snowman and then karate chops its head off. he then covers up in the fluff and goes back to sleep.

erich wakes up in his artificial winter wonderland and starts humming "here comes santa claus". he tapes some extra fluff to his clothes and runs around the house saying " i am the abdominal snowman,do ab crunches and wear spandex! rowrzzzz!!"