ACT ONE: THE PRE-SCHOOL DAZE
Early MemoriesOne of the most vivid and earliest memories of my life that I can remember was a tear filled one. I was no more than 2 years old, a tiny being. Comforted with one of my brothers, Reece who was no more than 6 years old at the time, I was screaming and rolling about the old nicotine stained 'white' leather sofa. Reece tried to calm me down whilst holding back his own tears. Both of us were in shock as our parents were fighting in front of our young eyes. I called out for mum but she never answered. Instead, she was busy trying to avoid my dad's violent fists as he manically swung them around, brutally assaulting any object that got in their way. I screamed each time dad yelled, I yelled each time mum screamed. Having no idea why they were fighting I decided to try to break things up for myself. Being only 2 years old and never the brightest of sparks, my attempt to break it up didn't go as planned. Whilst I did manage to get them to stop attacking each other, it wasn't due to any herioc plans, no. It was because I tumbled head first onto the floor with an almighty thump.
'Dustyn!' 'Baby are you OK!'....the nurturing tone of my mother returned and in a flash, she ran over to cradle and comfort me. In her arms, I stared at my dad. His eyes were empty. I knew that was a very strict man due to past experiences and was never the most loving of people but there was something really wrong with the way he just stared right through me and my mother. This burly Irish boxer was looking right down at us as if we were measly little ants about to get trod on by his almighty giant boot. I was terrified, mum was shaking, Reece was in tears and yet dad continued to stare blankly.
'It's OK baby, mummy and daddy just had a little slip. It's all over now. Come on be a big boy and stop crying for mummy, you're my little soldier you're tough, you shouldn't cry'. Mum tried to reassure me and being a naive toddler (who just received a blow to the head), I believed every word she said. Even dad gave a half smile which made me think that everything was better. Though, I always remember turning to Reece who was still on the couch in tears and had a look of pure hatred in his eyes. This image of my brother made me think;
'was it really ok?, if he's older than me then shouldn't he be braver and stop crying.......or did he know the truth about mum and dad's 'slip'?'Parts of that night are now faded memories, like a scratched DVD; it plays some parts well whilst other parts are jumbled and some parts don't even play. A vague memory from that night was me in my Thomas The Tank Engine shaped bed, listening to sobbing through the wall. I couldn't decipher who's tears it was but I now realise it was probably mum's. I held on to my plush Barney and drifted off to escape the hectic and emotional day.
The next day is still 100% clear to me. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, one of the hottest days that I've ever experienced. The July warmth and the smell of summer seemed to ease my back into normality. Despite it being a more relaxed day, hardly anyone exchanged words which still created some tension in the air. At breakfast my dad fed me instead of my mother which struck me as odd but I dare not have questioned it. Yes, even at two years old I was spoon fed as I had a tendency to re-design the room with my food. Dad awkwardly fed me spoonfuls of Weetabix which I forced myself to digest as I didn't want to be a catalyst for a possible fight no.2.
The whole family went out to the park together in the afternoon. My eldest siblings; Raymond and Celine walked around together with a typical moody teenager attitude to the swing park. Meanwhile, me, Reece and my other brother Conor ran riot in the haven like park. Everything was perfect; mum and dad took pictures of us, dad spun my brothers around on the round about, they both held hands like a real married couple again and mum kiss my leg better when I fell off the swing; as you can see I fall a lot and this was far from the last time.
Everything was back to normal, or so I thought......
