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mariko: i will be the nun in charge of rounding up the dogs to ...you know. wait...are these collie fuckings voluntary or forced? i think if we put a chin strap on the pope hat,it will be funny. everything is funny with a chin strap. |
  "I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: it's cruel to force dogs to fuck the pope - i wouldn't fuck the pope for a million smackeroos. and that's a lot of smackeroos! no, we must find dogs that are 100% copacetic with popefuckery. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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mariko:i would do it for free. but only if we can do it in the popemobile...while listening to mayhem.i bet the popemobile has a killer sound system. for some reason,i have it my head that the pope listens to really nasty hip hop in between poping gigs. like vintage NWA or something. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: The popemobile's interior is always playing "ex-girlfriend" by no doubt at full blast on repeat. why? i don't know. but for some reason i can feel it in my heart. |
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 1 user thanked niggajones for this useful post.
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mariko:i can see that.personally,i would go with "bathwater" if i was pope. there must be some divine thing involved. gwen is like 40 and still.....lets just say i would give her a taste of the orient. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: gwen stefani was too hot and too cool to NOT become a pop artist. not saying I enjoy "hollaback girl," but let me tell you, back in the no-doubt days, my right hand was named Gwen....too much information? |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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mariko:oh! that was a bit....much. but i feel i know you so much better now. she did inspire me to wear a sports bra though. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: now you truly know me. and that's...good? I suppose. not saying I don't enjoy watching boobs run around untamed by a sports bra, but if it was inspired by gwen it must be good. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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mariko:yup! now i have to share with you. *squints hard and thinks.* i lost my virginity when i stole hitomi's boyfriend. i loved gwen's style. she was all like "yeah,i have small boobs,and?" |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: Oooh boy, that's so deliciously bitchy! and yeah, Gwen did for small boobs what riff raff did for my previous hairstyle. |
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mariko:*screeches* I LOVE RIFF RAFF! he was my favorite charcter! the shaved look is nice on you...even if i think racist skin head. hitomi learned i was not to be toyed with that day..though i should have let her keep him. it was my first time and i could tell it was horrible. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: I think it was only a matter of time before I did the whole shaved head thing...it makes it look like being bald is a choice instead of a cruel genetic joke. I'm glad she doesn't hold that against you, she seems like a person you don't want to fuck with. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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mariko:i like it better.you do not look like an old hippie bus school bus driver still trying to hold onto his youth. hitomi? she can be a right little psycho.she is...a lot more sensitive and fragile than she lets on. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: Really? Well, she's pregnant now, so I assume she'll be holding off on the shenanigans for now. She's impregnated by that death metal guy who has like...a cult of pregnant women or something like that, right? It sounds very cool. I wish I was in a pregnancy cult. Alas, I'm unable to bear children. The doctor said it was because I'm a man and I lack a womb or ovaries, but I'm pretty sure it's also because god is dead and we're alone in this universe. |
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mariko:yes,and i am in that house now! i am taking double birth control pills and sleeping with one eye open. though i think i am safe. he seems to only have eyes for the REAL pregnant one of his harem. pregnancy has cooled hitomi's fires greatly. you can use my ovaries. i have no use for them in the near future.i want them back though.if i become famous,i dont want my ovaries ending up on ebay. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: You've infiltrated the very center of the pregnancy cult!? Study them! We could make millions off of an informative article on the behavior their sect. Just make sure you get out before the children are born...death metal children leave no witnesses, no survivors. I don't want your blood on my hands. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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mariko: they are...rather dull.lots of vomiting and crying.at least on my cousin's part.i am scared now,as the one who is not hitomi is said to be with triplets.4 death metal children. holy shit...they mean to eat me! that is why the one they call nichole wanted me to visit!...zander,i am scared. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: er, quick! you must get impregnated by the patriarch of the cult. surely pregnancy will excuse you from being eaten? well, hopefully it will, as long as these cannibalistic sex-freak metalheads are decent. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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mariko:i cannot. at least not yet.i do not think the king is attracted to me. he has offered me a breakfast food called a hamlet,and has been nothing but polite to me.he hasnt once slapped me on the butt or anything. maybe i am being kept as a back up in case their copulation with hitomi doesnt work? |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Zander: maybe hamlet is slang for his penis? I'm not up to date with all this hip talk. If worst comes to worst, just run for it. Run in the direction of Canada and I'll let you stay with me out here in the vast wilderness. |
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