Zander: If you say so. Until you know for sure, I'd keep my rising sun under lock and key, though.

Zander: I'd also advise you get rid of all the turkey basters in the house. from what I've heard, those are deadly and pregnancy inducing.

Zander: be wary of his hamlets, then. they could be some a distraction for them to sneak up behind you and...baste you.

Zander: basting is what a turkey baster does...hence the name. although the turkey baster doesn't necessarily have to be loaded with drippings...you know what, I'll just let you figure that one out. As far as his hamlets go, dropping skirt isn't very conducive to protecting your...er, "sands of iwo jima"

Zander: I never even thought about the whole turkey/turkish thing...dear god! It's a conspiracy!

ooc: don't let your meat loaf, mr. hess.

Artist: Mariko kobayashi
Title:????
Format: ep. 12 "vinyl only.
Genre: "bubblegum death rock"
Label: self released
Rating: 4 stars.

1.Ponponpon -Kyary Pamyu Pamyu cover
2.Zombie babies play with death rattles.
3.I'd give your life for me.
4.Tip toe through the corpses.
5. I think I love you.

Review:
Mariko hasn't made a very large splash in the musical toilet, but she is bobbing around the bowl. Mariko is becoming known for overly peppy songs about morbid things. I guess for the hot topic crowd,this is appealing? It is true Mariko seems mostly flash and little substance. But she is all about fun. Seriously,what part of "blood drenched school girl,wielding a small sword" made you think you were about to listen to the second coming of John Lennon?

Mariko's self titled? Untitled? Ep is 5 tracks of wacky,over the top,fun! It is catchier than Velcro laden herpes and far more enjoyable to possess. Let us check this thing out,track by track.

1. Ponponpon
Every body who has been on YouTube has heard this song and seen its bizarre video. One gets the feeling the inside of mariko's head looks just like that. Skulls and pink as far as the eye can see. Mariko's version is slightly faster and the instruments are slightly out of tune. Giving it a creepy carnival sound. Yes ponponpon with clowns now,thanks for the visuals,Mariko!

mariko says:
I loooove this song. I listen to kyary's version when I am getting dressed after a shower. It just seems ideal for getting a person going! I wanted to make my version respectful of the original,while adding my own feel to it.

2.Zombie babies play with death rattles
Finally,we get to mariko's own material. The entire song has a backing of a kiddie piano. Which is atmospheric in small doses,downright irritating in larger doses. Luckily it's barely Audible once the song gets started. "Zombie babies" could almost pass for a cheerleader routine. It is delivered in the same rapid and sharp way. Mariko even throws in hand claps during the bridge! Lyrically,the song delivers what's on the tin: after a zombie apocalypse,zombies have sex and procreate dead babies.(if Stephanie Meyer can fuck up vampire lore,I guess zombies are fair game.) the farmed humans have their teeth pulled for baby rattle filling. Get it? Teeth? Filling?

mariko says:
Zombie babies cannot suck their thumbs,they will choke to undeath when it pops off in their mouth. My solution? The death rattle! It entertains dead baby while it stimulates her rotting,yet developing,brain. Death rattle would be cold and sterile,but starkly black and white. Dr Spock says this is best for brain development. I do not recall any babies on the enterprise. But what do I know? Star Trek fans are not known for being sticklers for small details.

3. I'd give your life for me.
Remember all those movies where the man heroically sacrifices himself for the woman? In mariko's song,the woman shoves the man out the spaceship airlock,so there is more food for her. Personally,my favorite song on the ep. It had a very retro keyboard track and a theramin. You can picture green painted girls in silver go go boots doing the swim to this song. A word to those wise,you'll be singing the chorus all day.

mariko says:
Fun! I love old science fiction movies,I also like 60's beach movies. Not for the plot,but the music! Also if we are in a space ship,with limited food? I am killing you as soon as we reach orbit. It is off the planet and out of any jurisdiction. Die die die! I'm eating these Doritos.

4.tip toe through the corpses.
Possibly the cheesiest song on here. But I think that is the point. Electric banjo funk? That's the best way I can describe this...song. The chorus isn't even played with instruments,it sounds like someone rhythmically squeezing a jello filled balloon. Possibly the most fun you'll have all year listening to a song about bloated bodies being popped.

mariko says:
Squish squish! I thought about what would happen if I woke up tomorrow and everyone but me was dead. Sure,the Unfathomable human loss would suck,as would the smell. But after awhile,I would get lonely. I think I would don a gas mask and dance among the bodies.poking the swollen ones with a sharpened whiffle bat. Call me weird, but that is what i would do. Choco cat!

5.i think I love you.
The ep closes with a song so sugary sweet, it makes Taylor swift sound like n.w.a. Easily the most radio friendly and listenable song here. Bouncy and very surf derived," I think I love you" wouldn't be out of place in an old spy movie....aside from the vocals and lyrics. Like her cousin Erica hess,Mariko is a bit on the squeaky side. So you either love her,or hate her. It works best on a song like this. One can really feel the uncertainty that Mariko expresses,along with the intense excitement. Like all Mariko songs,it is all about the chorus.

Mariko says:
I can not believe I actually put this on here! It is painfully obvious who it is about. But we kobayashi are not known For holding back our emotions. I do not usually write personal songs,but I made an exception for this. Love is a funny kind of feeling,and I tried capturing all that in this song. It is a simple and fun song that I hope people like.


In closing,Mariko kobayashi's debut is pure fun. It bridges the gap between unabashed pop music and "real" music. What she ended up with will probably be embraced by neither camp and she will live out her career as a cult act.

Ooc: thanks! Im sure someone uses it as a genre. It's the most accurate thing I could come up describing a cross of zombina and the skeletones with ai otsuka.

Mariko: aw,thank you Envy. I am so happy you liked it. Let us go get those drinkies,something with a tiny umbrella.

hi folks! its been a BUSY couple of weeks for me. some really good...some not so good.so i did what real musicans are supposed to do...write songs about my life. these songs arent sugar coated,so take the little ones out of the room. since my life has changed sooo much,i changed up the sound for this release. this is the music i hear inside my head when fucked up shit is going on. the poppy fun music may be back,but i needed this cathartic release. thats the beauty of being independent. this was for me.but i wanted you all to come along for the ride too! heres a reviews some guy did for me...um thanks...i guess.




Artist: Mariko kobayashi
Title:???? She says to give it your own title.
Format: 7" vinyl, digital download
Genre: bubble gum death rock
Label: self released.
Rating: 2 stars

Mariko kobayashi is a name far more famous for her off stage hijinx and her ultraviolent stage show,than her music. Her past few releases have provided little more than backing tracks to her live show. Which, if you don't know, Features her in a schoolgirl outfit and lots of blood. (Only the Japanese.) catchy,but disposable music. This new release is far darker,in a very real sense.

Defiled
Defiled is a very critical and unflattering look at Mariko herself. After losing two lovers...well,one lover. Envy pilgrim and one lover she clearly wished was real.nina tarentino....Mariko seems to have given up on the idea of a normal sort of relationship. This songs subject matter and sound,form a break from her past. Gone are the 60s surfy sounds and in their place? A frantic electronica based rock. A nod to mariko's friend vara gallo perhaps?

Big Man

Another personal song from Mariko. This one from a rather public incident where Mariko was assaulted by Adam black...brother of emerald black. Mariko probably correctly assumes Adam blames her for his sisters death..(Mariko did attempt to steal nina tarentino from emerald) soap operas have less drama,huh? Over twitter,Mariko found out that Adams next victim was Dustyn of weekend fame. (Beating up an autistic kid IS pretty low ) so Mariko wrote this song. It has no real structure and musically borders on noise. It is abrasive and uncomfortable to hear. With headphones, there are droning binaural beats to imbue fear into its listener. Mariko's voice is soft and at times,barely audible.

Final verdict? It's too personal and seems almost like a cry for help. It's the sort of music that makes you want to take a shower afterwards. Probably will be THE soundtrack for the self harm kids "nobody understands". I didt like it. But your mileage may vary.




Defiled

I wanna be your whore
I wanna be your slut.
I will do it all,yes ! Ill take it in the butt.

I'm an emotionless machine.
Built for fucking.
This hole in my soul,it keeps sucking.

I don't want love.
I just want what is juicy.
The bridge is out,from my heart to my pussy.

Your name is of no use.
Neither is mine.
We know what we are after,a damn good time.

So wrap your arms around me.
And open yourself wide.
I'm up for anything,I have no pride.

When we finish
You go your way
And I go mine.this is black and white,no shades of gray.
sounds like:


Big man

You get your kicks and laughs from pushing people around.
Picking them up by the hair,and scaring them shitless.
Does it make you Rock hard? Is that the only way you can get it up? You enjoy my cries for help,you think that's what I sound like when I cum? You are big man,huh? All Those years of being afraid. You went to the gym. Bulked up. Your body getting bigger,while your brain gets smaller. You pumped iron. And now? Someone's gonna pay!
But not anyone who stands a chance. No,no no. you go for easy prey. A tiny girl,and a boy who couldn't fight back if he tried. Macho insecurity runs deep. Now your abusive father is probably weak and elderly. He's as defenseless as I was,take the shot,you fucking pussy. His scrawny body can't hurt you now. But you can damn sure hurt him. Take his place as king of the big men.

mariko:yeah,yasipooh....its just one those times where i seem to be in the middle of a whirlpool at a sewage plant and anthropomorphic turds keep pushing me deeper.