I guess you want to know what "KateOffYourColours" is all about. It's just a safe place for me, and for you to talk to me (thankyou for all your insightful responses, by the way, much appreciated; I'll respond to them all when I get the time). Catriona suggested it, so if I write anything truly disastrous, blame her, haha.
I'm trying to think about the last post. I must have put it up, nobody else has the password. Bikki says it's because I'm Miss Nothing and Miss Everything. But how can I be? That's a lie. You can't be nothing and everything; in fact, you can be neither. Kitena says it's a bad attempt to insult her; must be friendly, of course. Kitena's my best friend, she's like my geek sister. I wouldn't want to lose a connection like that. Kitena lies a lot, she blames everything on me. That's the one thing with her, she just can't admit that she did it. Maybe it's to do with class or something like that.
I've lied too. We all have. Like when you say "No" to "Does my bum look big in this?" when she's splitting the jeans, and when you say that you're sick and contagious when your date calls because your favourite TV programme's on. My personal favourite is "I'll pay you back next week". I sound sincere, I know, but when you're buying that round of drinks when it should be my turn to pay, I doubt very much that you're going to remember the morning after, let alone next week, "Hang on, I paid for Kate's round." After the kind of drunken nights out that I go on, the last thing on your mind is who paid. Where are you? What happened? And in my sister and perpetual drinking buddy's case, who's he? Money doesn't matter at that moment; it doesn't come into play until next week's night out. When my turn comes, I say that I'll pay you back next week. I never do, you never hassle me about it.
But what if the lie's bigger than the cash, bigger than the sickness, bigger even than the bum? What if you've lied your whole life, and then had to keep that lie going to everyone you meet, just in case two people talk about you, and then you're in for it? You have to tell everyone the same story if they ask, don't even hint at anything different. I'm lucky in that I've been famous since I was 11, so with my whole life out there, all my cards on the table, there was nothing to tell but the truth. But what about before that? Maybe my backstory isn't quite as it seems. I'm sorry, I just had to say that. I've needed to say it for a while. Does it matter? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. I don't even know any more.
In completely different, music-relevant news, I have just received a call from Damien, you know, Kato's brother and Moronic Changeling's pianist, saying that Dan's got us a studio, here in LA! As little as I trust Dante Helyer, he is our lead guitarist, and we haven't got any other place to jam and record set up. They're flying over today to sort things out tomorrow. I have no idea what he's got planned, but I'm hoping for the best!
-Kathleen Kerry xxx
