Erica_Rox: you know what i want on my tombstone? Simply "the aristocrats".

Erica_Rox:@WhaDoUKno it's a reference. But usually not used outside of comedy.

Erica_Rox:@WhaDoUKno i only saw the first...season? Of JoJo. My take away? Just fuck already.

Erica_Rox: *ahem.* OK,this family walks into a talent agent's office. The agent says " look,family acts went out in the 70's.sorry.",without looking up from his work. "OK,but at least check us out." The father replies.then punches his youngest son right in the teeth. Blood and teeth spatter against the wall. One of the kid's molars lands right in the talent agent's glass of whiskey. The sudden violence scares the shit out of the daughter. A stream of yellow brown liquid spreads from the rear of her pants.the mother shoves the daughter over the agent's desk stapling her ears to it,while the now toothless son starts using the cooling fecal matter to paint his face like gene Simmons.he then starts,fucking his sister,while singing "Detroit rock city".

This gets mom hot and bothered,so she starts blowing the dad. The family dog starts nibbling the mother's bare bottom,when the mother swats at the dog,the dog deftly dodges and bites the father on the crotch. The dog fiercely shakes it's head until the father's balls rip loose.
The son stops fucking his sister and gets on all fours,he and the dog start playing tug of war with his dad's disembodied balls. To startle the dog,the mom starts fisting the dog....a Pomeranian. The dog howls with pain and attempts to run away,but is stuck on the mother's arm. The son ends up swallowing the balls when the dog suddenly let go.

Enraged,the father starts sodomizing the daughter with one of the agent's golf clubs.the sand wedge to be exact...and he isn't using the handle. The mother,petrified at the thought of her husband being a eunuch,starts punching the son in the stomach.with the yelping dog still on her hand.
Finally the son vomits up one of the testicles. But no matter how many times the mother hits him,he will not bring up the other. The dog's howling has gotten to the point here nobody can tolerate it any longer. The boy stuffs an m80 in the poor dogs mouth and lights it. A muffled explosion is heard and bits of dog and hand go everwhere.

Angered over the death of her dog,the mother starts stabbing her son in the eyes with the protruding bones of her arm. Blinded,the kid starts running around the room until he runs into a wall.the daughter fights of her dad,pulls the golf club out of her ass,and starts beating her brother to death with it. She pours the agent's glass of whiskey on herself,and sets it on fire. The mother and father turn to the talent agent and take a bow.

Speechless,the talent agent asks," well...what do you call yourselves?"
the mother,father,and daughter say,"THE ARISTOCRATS!!"

Ooc: yes. It's copied from the time Erica told the aristocrats joke in an interview. Im too lazy to write a new one.

Erica_Rox:@WhaDoUKno it's better in person. I really get into the dog fisting.

Karoliena_S: making rice Krispy treats.

Atomic_Erich:i dont trust the bottle of oil....it has both "lubricates" and "penetrates" on the label. this is mechanical oil,not people oil.

Atomic_Erich:it also has a tip that extends more than 6 inches....

ADAvonW: The problem with me is me.