From Kidd to adult table, to The Rappers Handbook, multiple free sides project no one has been more in touch with themselves like Kidd Amaze has been with his fans. He grew up in front of a lot of us from his early start to be one of the most popular artists, not only in hip hop but in music general. How he still has the 1998 BMW that he drove while trying to make it. How he took over his own label after leaving Permanent Reminder with Matt Young and how that strain their relationship. What he was going through losing his best friend and getting married there has been a lot of things going on in his life and he does put a lot of his feelings in his music but this was something different. From the moment that he finished the last album he wanted to get to work on his this project but life seem to get in the way he got this huge response to an album he didn't feel like he put his all into. Looking back at the time he wondered if sides were ever going to make or was it one of the things that were going to be lock away to time? As time went on we got "Grown Up" a single that talks about his maturity through the process of becoming this icon.

"This was an album that I wanted to do for a long time. It is one of those projects that it doesn't need to be perfect and mastered and picked apart even though I know it is going to be I just want people to listen to it. If a lot of things going on about mental health I think this project goes to everyone. I know that the last one was called a handbook thinking about musicians but this one is for everyone. We all have different sides of us and all of it is what makes us whole it makes us who we are. So I just want everyone to listen and enjoy it. Listen to it straight through only listen to the songs you like, hell listen to it when you are feeling what I felt."

The album has 14 songs and an hour long and how it starts is something different how it comes on with all of these people talking about how great he is and how made it he is successful but where is a quiet voice that gets louder and louder even drowning out the praise that he is getting talking about how he is still him. Still the loser, still the failure, the one who quit on school, how he disappointed everyone following this pipe dream, these people don't love him, don't care about him, knows he is faking happy, he isn't even happy.



OOC: That's right I'm coming out this album and I'm also going to finish Kim album while I'm at it but descriptions are not my thing. I try it but writing the songs and listening to the music is what I like. I still don't know if I'm going to write just descriptions or a combo of both or just the song but I always wanted to put this out on Kidd birthday so I planned to have it done by dec.12

As somewhat of a continuing pattern of the last track of self-doubt and conversation with yourself this song is what it would feel like getting into character.


Relax your mind, let your conscious free
sit back, relax, get loss to the beat
don't worry about anything let me take control
loosen your grasp as I take hold

(blackout, Blackout)

boy from the hood

(Blackout, blackout)

Wish another would

(Blackout, blackout, Blackout)


{Verse 1}
You doing your thing and it's alright
but I need to come through to make shit tight
You don't really know what they want
you try to act and stunt, but it's a front
You get no respect, you're soft and weak
once you get tested you be off your feet
You have no style, and people don't want deep
You trying to paint a story,
Man what a fucking creep
Listen fuck all that, we going for tops, only
Leave no witnesses, but craft the testimonies
don't fly under puts prints everywhere
Fill their thoughts with your style and flare
nigga, you don't have to rhyme perfect
just flood the market with your words
throw in bullshit rhymes, have turds
people will flip it to your benefit
work with only people that are benevolent
Learn as much as you can, then take it
Everyone wants to be famous, how many make it
fake it, you get to spot you want. No sweat
then as you work for younger kids,
have them in your debt.
Tell them what they want to hear,
feed them, you will have their ear
the louder the better, more eyes will come
Appeal the foolish, the blind, the dumb

{Hook}
I'm just a nigga from the hood
and I get misunderstood
just cause you can, don't mean you should
I wish a nigga would
try to come and get this wood, you going to

(Blackout, Blackout, blackout)x3
Oh you think you're nice you going to
(Blackout, Blackout, blackout)x3
I don't you ready for me to
(blackout)
even friends are scared when I
(blackout)
Fuck up everything until I get to the white house nigga

I Know you trying to be deep, my nigga
But to the streets man, it's some weak shit nigga
You need to embrace what you are
Not everyone is trying to be that "shooting star"
We focus on today, Who gives a fuck bout long term
If that shit just effecting now, it is not a concern
Those nights without food, Breaking in your own shit
Now that you got money you above the tar babies
and collecting trophies for a flick, you think you slick
One eye monster, best be quick, blind by a patch
trapped by a raincoat with holes through it
and now got you latched, Never been one for drama
But you didn't get that prenup, She here to stay
Shit, Bullshit always seems to find some kind of way

{Hook}
I'm just a nigga from the hood
and I get misunderstood
just cause you can, don't mean you should
I wish a nigga would
try to come and get this wood, you going to

(Blackout, Blackout, blackout)x3
Oh you think you're nice you going to
(Blackout, Blackout, blackout)x3
I don't you ready for me to
(blackout)
even friends are scared when I
(blackout)
Fuck up everything until I get to the white house nigga

It's back to streets again,
Back with the heaters in
Back to the winners win
and losing gets under the skin
I'm talking teen years living in the whip
I'm talking street niggas trying to dip
Like you don't sling that wood
Like they wish you would
They think your word game
isn't that cocaine
and in this purest form
can't send others insane
It's back to doubt
Back to stealing cout
Back to seeing what all the fuss was about
anyone stepping getting jacked in the mouth
Back to guns being drawn on sight
back to this is all for your life
you going to back to school?
Where everyone thought you was the fool
you going back to the street corner
that never changes
only thing happens is crime
it rearranges
Back to hustling
back to bustling
Going way back
Back when then the name wasn't in

Track 4 Don't Let Me Go
The mood of the album shifts here, as it gets more calm and collective like the music would suggest. The song goes from superego to the ego. As Kidd prepares himself he keeps getting pulling back into the reality and more into dark aspect of his life. How he is portray to the world and what he is like behind close door and what drives the two to live separate but together.



Why every time I try to get out it pulls me back in
And while I try to fight it, I can’t seem to win
Man, I don’t where I start and it begins cause
It won’t let me go



What are you looking for, be money, of fame, or success
That drive to attain and that hunger denies bones of their rest
They say that people are born in sin with desires of the flesh
But they fail to realize that undermines what we all want to protect
But none the less when we try to be better on bended knee and confess
But by the end of the day, we slip and regress
We try to show off and get things that we know will impress
We fight over things for their value and the meaning it prosses
But I’m tired living out my means to carry all the excess



Why every time I try to get out it pulls me back in
And while I try to fight it, I can’t seem to win
Man, I don’t where I start and it begins cause
It won’t let me go



All the ways that I reject the things that make me
Puts up the walls in front that keep me from being free
Chained by design my free will conforms to my self
Creating another, which I call on for his help
This alter ego comes in and he plays his role
He does it so well, I don’t see it but I’m told
That he has a following to be shaped in his mold
Chasing his ideals, is beliefs, and his ways
I don’t know if I should feel some kind of way
Should he disappear or remain to stay
Maybe my true self is in the way



Why every time I try to get out it pulls me back in
And while I try to fight it, I can’t seem to win
Man, I don’t where I start and it begins cause
It won’t let me go


And I want to know
Why do you hurt me so
Don’t you even know
I can’t let you go



Why every time I try to get out it pulls me back in
And while I try to fight it, I can’t seem to win
Man, I don’t where I start and it begins cause
I can’t let go



Track 5 Show Off
This is the first time that the album might be mentioning someone else. While the last song talks about these sides of the same person this song is about external forces namely something that he will proud to have and to hold on to. This becomes important as it album starts to go on this stretch of finding something and now working on maintaining and keeping what is found.

(x2)

I want to show you off
I want you to feel good
I want to show what you mean to me
You make me so proud to be



I want to you show you off


I want to show you off,
I want to express how I really feel
Man, you are the real deal
I dealt with so much before that my shoulders were sore
I had to put those burdens down
And you, you held it down Fresh air I breathe when you around
Let’s get dressed up and hit the town



(x2)

I want to show you off
I want you to feel good
I want to show what you mean to me
You make me so proud to be



Listen I don’t think you know how you make me better
How you seem to wrap around me like my favorite sweater
That I wore that Christmas near the fireplace
Or a good book that you read on a rainy day in a quiet space
I’m talking walks on the beach at dusk waves touching your toes
Fingers intertwine, turn to look at you, nose to nose
With the sun setting behind
And in my mind, there couldn’t be anything better
Nothing more pressing, a place of no guessing
Like that moment

(x2)

I want to show you off
I want you to feel good
I want to show what you mean to me
You make me so proud to be

Edited by user 05 January 2020 07:42:15(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Track 8 Without me
Track 8 has a shift in tone as five six seven was a bright spot eight took a turn as reality took a bad bad turn. Death from his friend and the mother thinking about suicide. He questions if he was deserving and questions the life that he is living while before he had blinders on to just focus on things close to him but losing someone when you not there, was something that made him take a look at not only his life but the lives of others.


(hook)
When the lights dim low
And it’s my time to go
I want to be sure that
You guys can live on without me
Promise that you will live without me
Cause, I won’t be here always
I need to put things in place
Before I finish this race
Say that you, will live without me
Tell me that, you will live without me

(verse)
I remember how we had those dreams growing up with
Gleams in our bright eyes, shining brighter than the skyline
You were the one that was so dedicated
I never saw you be so moved and motivated
I was older than you but it really inspired me
I didn’t have brothers or sisters but you were like blood to me
It may be hard to see with those binders on but you can trust
Everything that we could do together, the two of us was a must
I had the rep of being “Cool” but really, I was the class fool
I didn’t have it like you so I had to act out for the attention
Something just to get a mention hell just to be recognized
And those wicked ties confined me to where I am today
You left home a while ago yet here I am left to stay
I wanted to go with you but couldn’t shake the self of unworthy
Dirty like the old luggage you refuse to throw away,
the sentimental value of holding someone back
I act tough and strong but fact of it remains
I have nothing that can benefit you,
But I can make it better for the ones that are coming behind you
I feel like I’m the shepherd and you’re the master
That I learned from and I know some that
Have a vision just like you
But they don’t have a guide to see them through
Roadmap this place crazy, but you made it they can too
I can be that for them like you were for me
I can’t wait for them to look back once they get on easy
Street, cause my feet are tired and I didn’t pave this
This lane is the one that you created, talked and celebrated
So my goal is to put these young minds on the right path
Once we all made through these time we can all laugh
And I hope one day you can come to see
I’m teaching now so...
(Gunshots)
(Woman Screaming)

(Hook)
Promise me, you’ll live on without me
Promise me, you’ll live on without me
I won’t be here always
I need to put things in place
Before I finish this race
Say that you will live without me
Tell me that, you will live without me

(Verse)
It a shame whenever a parent outlives their child
I sort of expected something with him being so wild
Just always rebellious, buck at the sign of authority
Being so close to gangs only made me more worried
I was happy when you two starting hanging out
Even though I was unsure how it would turn about
He was quite rash and you seem to follow his lead
Only God would be able to handle his breakneck speed
But I pleaded with the lord to always place his hand
And I think you being there made him understand
I could tell by the way that you would look at him
Filled with admiration, which sparked his determination
Maybe some detonations, he was a short fuse burst of energy
Hard to contain but if it could be harness, forever the artist
You know the type, two peas in a pod
Grew thick as thieves looking back on those moments where we
Would get phone calls, Your mother and I
Would come by and preach to you guys
So hard-headed the more we would try
Split you two apart as punishment
Man, the tears Y’all would cry
And I’m sure now I rival those tears
I can’t help but wonder on all those years
Why they take my baby now, I’m full of hurt
Couldn’t he wait a while, lowering to the dirt
They could have saved him, hearing the tires skirt
It should have been me, I want it to be them.
Eye for an eye, blood for blood, pain for pain
I just have flashbacks and fill with disdain,
Anguish, none of it subside
It been years and I still hollow and empty inside.
I don’t know I can live on like this, unbearable
A parable not going to help me I need something real and tenable.


(Hook)
When the lights dim low
And it’s my time to go
I want to be sure that
You guys can live on without me
Promise that you will live without me
Cause, I won’t be here always
I need to put things in place
Before I finish this race
Say that you, will live without me
Tell me that, you will live without me




(Verse)
I'm often caught myself with feelings of survivors guilt
Wondering if I’m worthy of the things that I have build
Saw many that wilt under the scrutiny that comes from success
And while I considered to be blessed and highly flavored
Still seems like I can never see about my neighbors
How did a kid who comes from terrible conditions
End up being with top-selling musicians with his ambitions had to be a magician
And a dark one at that would take more than millennia to figure that puzzle
Forget it, it is in the past let’s bury it with a shovel
Oh you talking about change here? Nah can’t have that you earned this muzzle
You bring no worth other than being the entertainment
You’re placement is just a holder until we are done, never vacant
How many people would kill to be in your shoes
How many would die with those cement blocks too
With broken bows and chicken wings the spot will fill
In love with the thrill then fucked over in the deal real recognize itself in a mirror
And in your refection I can see the bitter and the sweet
It gives me shivers it is quite a treat
Are you happy, this is the life you wanted right?
This is the chance to say your piece while in the spot light
I just wonder am I in the right


(hook)
Promise me, you’ll live on without me
Promise me, you’ll live on without me
I won’t be here always
I need to put things in place
Before I finish this race
Say that you will live without me
Tell me that, you will live without me

Track 10 Waiting to die
Depression is starting to come in, it builds and builds until it overcomes and consumes the person whole. What's starts off as the things that use to be fun aren't fun anymore, turns to not feeling any joy or happiness or feelings of sadness until you think I about just ending it all and wanting to feel like you still have control be deciding how you want your life to end. This track is very depressing and even ends with just a body falling and words being spoken about understanding the role you have in other peoples lives and the connection people have to one another.

Tell me how you feel (Tell me how you feel)
I feel that this isn’t me
This isn’t what I wanted to be
I know that this is just in my mind
But I don’t know if I can fix this with time
Tell me do you want to be famous
Not really know who your friends really are
Don't you like to be rich?
Everyone asking for a share of it
Getting anything that you want
Cause everything comes with a price tag
Doesn’t even matter in the long road
Seems I’m just waiting to die

Die x6
Waiting to die
Die x6
Waiting to


You feel like you always on go
Got to get ready,
have to prep up for the show
On the world stage, with the curtains raised
Mask on,
time to preform, time to amaze
It’s my magic to leave myself back stage
The distance covers what is in a song
The words I speak that carry on
The will that I left behind
When I’m dead and gone
Will they still be fine?
Years from now when people look back
Could they be able to tell that this was an act?
Or understand the meaning, hold it true
Knowing the things that I never knew
My intuition varies,
my gut sways
My head is determined
But my heart is away
Feeling like I’m floating
With no end insight
And I’m really trying to get things right
But I’m slowly choking
So hard to breathe
I don’t know what is going to be left of me
I’m just


Waiting to die, waiting to die
Will I survive, I just don’t know


Seems I’m just waiting to die
Die(x6)
Waiting to die
Die(x6)


Tell me how you feel (Tell me how you feel)
I feel that this isn’t me
This isn’t what I wanted to be
I know that this is just in my mind
Why can’t everything just be fine
Tell me do you want to be famous
Not really know who your friends really are
Don't you like to be rich?
Everyone asking for a share of it
Getting anything that you want
Cause everything comes with a price tag
Doesn’t even matter in the long road
Seems I’m just waiting to die


Let me breathe


I feel like I going stir-crazy
My mind as been hazy
I don’t know don’t how
I should feel anymore
I’m losing my mind
Thought that this time
my troubles were behind
Why do they keep coming
knocking on my front door
I thought I settle this before
This here amazes me
That you still out here
Looking to score
This has to be fix
It should be patched
Theirs should notes
On how you get your kicks
I Know
I know this is all in my head
Trying to say that it isn’t real
I know this is all in my mind
Showing that I don’t kneel
I won’t buckle under pressure
I won't cave to expectations
They won’t get the pleasure
I will have the validation
I’m stronger than my oppression
I’m greater than my creation
I will get through it on my own
I don’t need salvation
I’m going to make it even though


Waiting to die, waiting to die
Will I survive, I just don’t know


Seems I’m just waiting to die
Die(x6)
Waiting to die
Die(x6)





Tell me how you feel (Tell me how you feel)
I feel that this isn’t me
This isn’t what I wanted to be
I know that this is just in my mind
Why can’t everything just be fine
Tell me do you want to be famous
Not really know who your friends really are
Don't you like to be rich?
Everyone asking for a share of it
Getting anything that you want
Cause everything comes with a price tag
Doesn’t even matter in the long road
Seems I’m just waiting to



(body crumbles to the floor)

I worry about you, you keep this going and all you doing is hurting yourself. You need to understand that you maybe the main character of your story but you play a role in other people's lives as well. Don't neglect the platform that you have as a leader and as I person of influence.

Track 12 Regret
Track 12 is about regret, more importantly it is about seeing how ones actions effect others. We have seen personal struggles with how one deals with the world around them and how they put their actions into the world but not knowing the impact of ones actions. As one know is able to look at a bigger picture they see a bigger picture noticing the forest instead of a single tree.


The world doesn’t stop spinning
While we are the main person in our own lives
We all have a part to play in the overarching show
Just because one act end doesn’t mean show is over
The world stage keeps the show going



Lost in a cloud of regret,
I lay back and reflect, on all my poor choices
All of the little voices, and those white noises
Trying to sink until my soul touches earth’s inner core
Go to the deepest trench unexplored, to find me with heavy shoes
Out of place like a smart car in hood hike up on 22’s
Turned to justice’s blinded eye for all of the clues
I should have seen the signs, I was playing ignorant
Knowing that it is a being that breeds belligerent
so, I did nothing but watch as it would fester
It didn’t take long until I notice it lesser
Fade from my mind’s eye, how could I?
This thing NTR, stole her away, I didn’t even try
Cause it was always around, warmth through the cold
I would try to break them apart trying to be bold
Only leave her shivering, lips quivering
I couldn’t be the strength she wanted
Couldn’t provide what he was delivering
I think she didn’t want to see me
That’s why she would sneak and hide
I think she wanted to come to me
But she just had too much pride
Trapped in, with walled closing
No win situation she decomposing
I can see the break down
A Trainwreck happening in a fraction’s time
Looking for a conductor’s or an emergency line
I wanted so badly to save, but I’m not a hero
When given the opportunity,
my success rate is close to zero
Every playback is another failure
I thought is what I didn’t do
Little problems become major
I should have been in his shoes
No matter how much I look at it, it just brings me shame
I hate to look at you cause I’m the one to blame
I thought I could handle this,
I was ready but I was lying
I am fake, but I have to keep trying
I can’t let it end this way
I have to persevere
I will have the final say
Even though the fear
Scares me,
I’m not as strong as you are
I don’t claim the be
If you say you are alright That not enough for me
I have seen you smile before
It will take a while but I will
Get you to be happy



Something got a hold on me
I can’t let go, cause I think it will kill me
Something got a hold on me
I can’t let go, but my strength is failing me
Something got a hold on me
I can't let go


You struggle so hard to go against the flow
Even if it doesn’t affect you directly
You rather struggle for something you believe is better
What do you see that worth the effort?

Track 14 Number #1 Fan
The energy and the motivation to keep going and pushing through is through the help of others. This is the final track and it talks about how Kidd is a fan of the people that look up to him. While this was an album that talks about different sides of him, this was a love letter to the people that call themselves fans of his work and that he is a fan of the people that come out to see him. People that had harsher lives than his own and take comfort in his work makes him want to work for them



Through the good and bad
Through the highs and lows
From the snowy tops
To the current streams below
And everything between
You all rode with me



I didn’t know where this road would take me
I didn’t know what this would make of me
Crazy to say but I didn’t believe in destiny
But we really came through with this recipe
Been a while since we talk,
I have been away for a while,
But we are the combo like a blackboard to chalk
Peanut butter and Jelly
Man, I have been in denial
Been getting beat up
But you have made this worth wild
You saw me as a child
I took you through a lot of things
Gave you some heartache
But we won a lot of rings
Know that I trying to do you proud
Show people your inspirations
People say that it is about the journey
But I prefer getting to the destination
Life is one long road
One we never see when crossing the finish line
So, all we do is look back
Hope that what we have done stands the test of time
I have fate in you, I believe you to do the impossible
The strength on a thousand you are unstoppable



Through the good and bad
Through the highs and lows
From the snowy tops
To the current streams below
And everything between
You all rode with me
You held me down from day one since I began
Here’s to you, cause I’m your number #1 fan
Here’s to you, cause I’m your number #1 fan
Here’s to you, from your #1 fan



I’m going to tell like it is
Try to always keep it real
Not get caught up in the biz
Don’t force a record deal
It’s hard to stay focus and so easy to stray
People will put you on notice, and cast you away
What’s new and fresh now
Is old and played out later
They chew apart your flesh
Like zombies decayed through weather
Unnatural force, some tend to sound
Puppets on strings,
helpless when no one is around
I could have been like that
But you help me fight back
When I was close to giving up
You help me stay on track



Through the good and bad
Through the highs and lows
From the snowy tops
To the current streams below
And everything between
You all rode with me
You held me down from day one since I began
Here’s to you, cause I’m your number #1 fan
Here’s to you, cause I’m your number #1 fan
Here’s to you, from your #1 fan



Words can’t express how much you all mean
You gave me a sense of self a part of my being
I’m forever grateful, you just don’t know
I wouldn’t be where I am if you didn’t show
Didn't cheer, didn’t come to support
In this sport, you aren’t just fans
You guys are my family, all kinds of hands
Have been on deck, when we hold reunions
A fusion of ideals and personal opinions
I take joy to take part
Looking back on where we got our start
I listened to your stories and was amazed,
At dinner, tables talked about how you were raised
Seeing so many different sides that make you up
Those lessons you learned, you took some bumps
But we bounce back better than
I just want to say thank you
From your number 1 fan.



Through the good and bad
Through the highs and lows
From the snowy tops
To the current streams below
And everything between
You all rode with me
You held me down from day one since I began
Here’s to you, cause I’m your number #1 fan
Here’s to you, cause I’m your number #1 fan
Here’s to you, from your #1 fan

erich: kidd knows whats up. some people are out here dropping releases like truckers drop pants at bathroom glory holes. if one releases sporadically and only when needed,well...we call those people legends. kidd could have just at back after kidd at the adults table,but he didnt. no. he kept going and again shows us why we should ALL name our first born "kidd." i am late and unable to do this. but if i could go back in time? shit yeah.

Matthew: Finally i been waiting to get this album

Ethan: Love the album by the way man

Damien: Yo i been fan of Kid Amaze & still to this today still have respect of that guy


OCC: Wow you doing amazing job but for me still struggling with writing rap but kinda getting there but still great job

Ooc: amazing. I'll have to listen to the rest at work tomorrow. But it's a brilliant idea. Love it.