Joshua sparks up a joint as he and Dae sit on the bedroom floor, recreating a classic childhood slumber party vibe...with drugs and alcohol. He's so happy to have his best friend over not just because it's been a tough time for Joshua recently but for the fact that he's missed him and it's been so long. Dae always brings out the real Joshua, the one that people fail to or simply don't want to see. He isn't as uptight as people think he is. Joshua is a 20-year-old guy with a zest for life, quick wit and love for people. This is him right here in his bedroom in New Jersey, as comfy and casual as you'd ever find him. His decor and the outside lighting conjure a red and purple tinted haze in the room, making everything feel much more warmer and snug. The bright lights and buzz from Johnny's place and the general showbiz lifestyle are gone. It's just him and his best friend in his room, drinking and getting high as fuck. Joshua seems to be more interested in the weed while Dae is focused on the Devil's juice, already arriving a little bit tipsy.

"...I feel like you, YOU get me more than anyone else does. Well, there's Ashley but she's my big sister. Not counting that relationship," he says after exhaling with a tilt of his head to the ceiling. They've been having a heart to heart about relationships and Johnny's infidelity for the last hour and a half. "Johnny...he doesn't get me. He tries. He does his best to support me, you know...when he's not preoccupied elsewhere...but even before shit hit the fan, I always sensed I was still one big fucking puzzle to him. I feel like I say things, fight for things, need things and it all just goes over his head. I mean, it's not THAT hard to get on the same page as a bipolar left wing activist who gets really intense and can't hold his tongue, right?" Joshua jokes with a little laugh, doing his best to lighten up a situation that could probably kill him if he didn't put some humour into it. He certainly is a lot to handle and he has trouble truly trusting people and letting them into his real life. That's why it totally floored him when he discovered the cheating. The trust was gone and if the man he confided in was sleeping with other people, there's no telling what else he could be doing or saying when Joshua's back is turned.

Joshua gets up off the floor and clenches his jaw, wincing due to having a dead leg from sitting down there for so long. "Fuck!" he exclaims with a little hop before sitting on his bed. He looks down at Dae through the smoke and smirks. "You think I would've been able to satisfy him if I just did the eye thing?" Joshua winks purposely with his sleepy eyelid.

Joshua listens to what Dae has to say about the situation. He understands that Johnny doesn't have to be his only sounding board but with the cheating too, it all just snowballs and feels like one big lie and slap to the face for him. That's also part of Joshua's issue, something that he can't help - he FEELS deeply. When something makes him angry, he sees a red mist. When something makes him upset, it's the end of the world. "Yeah...I guess you're right. It's still fucked up and hard to get my head around though. When you think someone is your rock and you share everything with them...then they sleep with a meathead from a tacky boy band. Fun." Joshua is now at the place where he is able to talk about the situation without wanting to break down or punch something. He's still angered and unforgiving on the inside but there's a calmness to him, which is a deadly warning sign for some. He doesn't even have the energy to beat someone's ass. He's just done.

"Sorry for boring the ass off you, Mr Singleton," Joshua says from the bed, giving Dae a little nudge with his foot. It's fun to playfully push people you care about, especially when they're unsteady and intoxicated. "You live the exciting single, no-strings life and I'm here chewing your ear off about my relationships woes. I must sound like some bored middle-aged housewife complaining about how her husband doesn't satisfy her. God, I'm middle-American!" Joshua laughs but it's then turned into a cringe and whine of disgust when he thinks about the whole eye sex thing. "Uggh, I don't even want to know! I mean, I don't think you can just pop your eye out but for those already missing an eye? I...I uh don't think that's sanitary! Imagine if he cums? You'd look like you're crying milky tears!" Joshua chuckles and sits up on the bed, patting the space next to him. "You. Sit here. I can't be bothered looking down at you...for once."

"You don't need an excuse when you have no one to answer to." The words slipped so nonchalantly out of Dae's mouth as he slipped on a nice pair of shades and laid down. He was sitting with his back to Joshua's left shoulder so it was easy for him to lay his head on Joshua's lap and use him as a personal lounge chair. The scene was like something out of a movie, long as you ignore the fact that Joshua is not a lounge chair. Dae's a touchy friend, but in a way that more disregarded the humans around him more than anything. He's the friend that uses you as an armrest, a footrest, a headrest, and anything else he can lay over you to make himself comfier. It was his way of saying, "I'm comfortable around you!", but most just pushed him right off. So what if it somehow made him come off as a douchebag? Dae can't help that he's cooler than most.

Despite what he believes deep in his heart, Dae Ho Park has a plethora of people to answer to. Exactly 2 years ago, the teenage dream released his debut album for the world to consume and millions of people around the world ate it right up. You would think after years of fighting for a chance to focus on his singing career, seeing it flourish would've motivated him to keep at it but nope. For Dae, his drive to make and release music comes only after feeling like the stars have aligned just to get a good view of his next move. He has never felt pressured to get anything new out, despite the fact that his team and fans are all breathing down his neck. It means nothing to Dae, he's such an individual that he doesn't really grasp his responsibilities to others very well. It all seems to fly over his head that if you want to keep your fans, you have to feed them.

This trait about Dae can also explain why this is his first time spending time with Joshua in a while, even after the mind-boggling attack. When he heard the news that Joshua was in the hospital because of a gang attack, it was absolutely unreal to him. He called and checked up on him as much as possible but he felt it was best not to visit too often because, well, he figured Johnny would feel a way about it. Dae and Joshua were unusually close and the last thing he wanted to do was make it seem like he was stepping on Johnny's toes. Despite how bad he wanted to just step up and take care of Joshua himself, in his head Johnny and Joshua were madly in love and who would trade all that for a friend who wasn't sure if he wanted anything more? Dae goes for what he wants but only if he sees room for him in a situation. He refuses to force himself anywhere he is not wanted, though he never seems to know when he actually is.

When Joshua brings up how he's fine, it only dawns on him at the moment that his friend is still covered in bruises and marks. He opens his eyes back up and lifts his shades up, his view now consisting of the scratches under Joshua's chin. He started to say something showing real concern but stops himself, not wanting to ruin the chill vibes. He sighs. Joshua doesn't seem to be in a mood to have a heart to heart, and Dae is not the type of person to push it. "I know you are." He puts his shades back over his eyes and closes them. "Life is fucking crazy, but you're crazier. Gonna take more than an army."

Joshua paces around the hotel room, moving as rapidly as his thoughts and words. Joshua's state of mind has been extremely fragile for a long time. Ever since leaving the wellness facility and moving back in with his family, he's been having more good days than bad. Today is not the case. Today is shrouded by dark clouds. Today Joshua contemplated doing something stupid. Something he hasn't considered in months. "I just don't see where he gets off on playing this victim role! Is he really THAT much of an asshole that he not only lies to me but to his fans? The entire world?!" Joshua spits, continuing his tirade against his ex. This morning, Johnny had sent Joshua an advanced copy of a song titled "Why Does It Have To Hurt?" along with the message "this one's about us, just thought u should know". In the song, it appears that Johnny is acting as if he's the one who was hurt by the breakdown of the relationship despite being the one who sabotaged it with adultery and deceit. Hearing this triggered Joshua and sent him back to that dark place. He relived it all today.

His good friend Dae is the only person, aside from his big sister Ashley, who he can REALLY open up to when it comes to his private life. Even though life has taken them in different directions in 2019 and they have hardly seen one another, they still flood each other's DMs. Dae is aware that Joshua has yet to publicly address the split. It's a combination of embarrassment over a failed relationship as well as how triggering it is for him. The lies and the mistrust cut deep for Joshua. He can barely process it in his own head never mind the whole world jumping on it. He may seem abrasive but Joshua is a sensitive soul. He's extremely passionate and feels things tenfold. "I don't know what to do. It's only a matter of time before this song is out and then the breakup becomes a thing and I don't want it to become a thing. I don't want a public war. I don't want...I-I don't want to deal with this, man." It's evident by the wavering in Joshua's voice that he's transitioning from angry to upset for like the fortieth time tonight.

He sighs and looks over at Dae, who is just taking it all in. Teary-eyed, he forces a sad little smile. "I'm sorry. This probably isn't how you want to spend your night".

Joshua melts into Dae's hug and hangs his head in unison with his friend as he reflects over the last 365 days. "It's OK. You've got your own life, your own problems. I don't expect you to just drop everything for me. Believe me, you'd be doing it a lot. Shit always seems to hit the fan as soon as I do so much as breathe." One of the saddest things about Joshua is that not many people have a lot of time for him and he doesn't expect them to either, yet he has all the time in the world for everyone else. He'll gladly take on some of the most powerful people in the world but as soon as Joshua is in need, people tend to roll their eyes. That's what hurts the most about this breakup. Joshua believed Johnny was one of very few people who had his back. He had no idea what his so-called boyfriend was doing behind it. "The kicker is his lies. If he wasn't attracted to me anymore, that's fair enough. If he couldn't handle or understand me too, that's cool. I don't expect people to suffer in my company. It was all the lying that cut deep. Just the fact that he was the one person I was supposed to trust most...I let him so close...he knows so much about me...and...he was lying to my face the whole time. He knows me but do I really know him?" Joshua sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "That relationship was a bigger scam than Flat Tummy Tea. I've been shitting out lava for two weeks and the only thing I've lost is sleep," Joshua jokes with a little laugh. The situation is still a very raw wound for him but he has to inject some humour to keep him sane. Joshua spiralling into depressive episodes is not pretty.

When Dae reaffirms his friendship and solidarity, Joshua can't help but smile from ear to ear. While he never doubted Dae's friendship, the distance and time spent apart made it feel like they were never going to reconnect. It had been a LONG year. To finally be in the presence of the one person who "gets" him is heartwarming. Sure, there are a lot of people who are nice to Joshua and friendly with him, but they aren't on the same wavelength. "Partners in crime", he says with a gleeful smile, playfully nudging Dae. "Oh and if I do need to go back into a facility, I'm totally going back to the same one. The banana pancakes they served for breakfast were out of this world." Joshua giggles, already feeling in a much better mood. He sighs as Johnny's name comes out of Dae's mouth. It's such a frustrating situation for him. As he is such a considerate person, Joshua always opens himself up to different sides of the story. He's constantly in a battle of anger and sorrow. "Sometimes, I feel like I ruined things because I didn't take care of my mental health when I should have. I was a wreck. I was draining him. No wonder he wanted to escape. Then I snap out of it and realise that he's just a dick...or a bitch nugget as you wonderfully put it. I'm an awesome person. I just have baggage but who doesn't?". The baggage in question being Joshua's bipolar, something which Dae has always understood and accepted. Johnny often took Joshua's mood swings as a personal attack.

Joshua raises an eyebrow and his face lights up when the blunt is passed to him. "Thought you were never going to light that thing!" Joshua chuckles and takes it from Dae, taking a long overdue drag with great ease. He hasn't had access to weed for the best part of a year. "Oh yeah...now I remember why I love this stuff so much..." he says as he exhales with his eyes closed. For someone as intense as Joshua, this stuff is the sweetest nectar. Joshua hands the blunt back to Dae and rests his head on his friend's shoulder, sighing with relief and contentment. "Things are always better when you're around..." he says softly. It's more than just a compliment about a friend and their company, it really does ring true. Dae is more than just a buddy who makes him laugh and brings the fun. He makes Joshua feel safe to be himself.

The past few weeks for Joshua have seen him at the brightest he's been in a while. Although Joshua has always pushed through with working on his music and just managing to stay alive through all of the shit he's endured, it's like he's not doing it begrudgingly now. He's genuinely in a happier state of mind since kicking the drugs, putting out a much needed response video to clear the air and also making things official with Dae. Of course, he's never going to be completely over things like the tragic passing of his sister or the constant injustice within the world but, for Joshua Grimmie's standards, this is as bright as he can possibly be in these times and it shows. He's producing the best music he's ever made. While his debut was great, this one is next level. The sound is completely unique, the stories he's telling are raw and honest. It's basically the last two years of his bizarre life in music form. This isn't just another pop album. This is a story and a half. A moment.

"You're here?!" Joshua's face lights up from behind the microphone when he sees Dae enter the room. While he knew Dae was coming down, he still asks in disbelief. Joshua is still yet to adjust to random acts of love and kindness. Looking back at past relationships, he wasn't experiencing what he believed to be true love. In hindsight, it was all very one sided. I love you is more than just saying it as an automated response or in the heat of the moment while in the bedroom. It's action. It's attention to detail. It's raising each other up. It's what Joshua is still getting used to. In the past, he'd never have something like this - a studio visit to come see him and listen to his work.

"Hey gorgeous..." Joshua says with a bright smile before leaning in and giving Dae a kiss, placing a hand on the side of his face. He strokes his thumb along Dae's cheekbone and looks into his eyes. "Well this session certainly perked up!"

Dae always gave Joshua butterflies. Even in the early stages of their friendship, something just clicked. He adored getting to spend time with him. Having Dae come over was like Christmas for Joshua. Now he gets to experience that every day with added benefits too. His stomach leaps during the kiss. "I swear I'll never get tired of that," Joshua says with a grin. He winks at Dae's suggestive comment and reluctantly steps back into the booth. He loves music but he loves Dae's kisses even more.

"I'm just redoing some vocals for Tragic Kingdom again," Joshua says as he puts his headphones back on. Tragic Kingdom is one of the oldest songs on the new project and one Dae has heard many times over. It's one that means a lot to Joshua. It's a satirical take on his very public breakdowns and how "hellish" it must be to live with him. He's being incredibly self aware with this new album. It has taken a lot for him to get to a place where he can not only talk about such things in his music but also somewhat poke fun at them too. "I look forward to that surprise..." Joshua says into the microphone before giving Dae another mischievous wink.

Joshua starts to take his vocals again, singing "Send in the clowns" several times over. It's only a four word sentence but that doesn't matter to Joshua. Every syllable has to sound right to him. With each take, he lets out a little grunt of disappointment as he hears it back and shakes his head before doing it again. It's clear that he's just not "getting it" today.

Joshua goes for another take but his voice breaks halfway through and it just throws him off completely. He sighs and takes a step back from the mic with a facial expression Dae is all too familiar with. Joshua is getting pissed and mad at himself. Joshua likes to have an answer for everything and wants to "fix" everything so whenever he can't achieve something, it really gets under his skin. "Fuck..." he says with a sigh as he steps out of the booth. He cuddles into Dae after his hair is ruffled and speaks lowly while resting his head on Dae's shoulder. "You just want to hear what I actually accomplished today instead?"

"This is Tragic Kingdom...and it's probably gonna be the death of me," Joshua says with a little chuckle. He's been working on perfecting this one for months on end. The song is probably his "biggest" in sound to date. A lot of heavy live instrumentation that just keeps escalating. It's similar to Jane Child's "Don't Wanna Fall In Love" in vibe and build-up but a totally different animal. It has a very smooth R&B beat underlying it, with a drum beat not too dissimilar to Michael Jackson's early 80's work but the instrumentation showering over it is far more aggressive. Grumbling electric guitars and licks that evoke old Queen anthems and even verge on Punk-esque propel "Tragic Kingdom". It's one of those songs that need turned tf UP!

"I uh...changed a few things since the last demo I played you..." Joshua says rather coyly. A few things is an understatement. The song has far more "bite" to it now with how he's turned the guitars up in the mix and he's also added in a lot of background vocals to give it more depth, not to mention the huge electric guitar breakdown. "Played by yours truly," he says with a smirk as the guitar thrashes on the track.