The Chaos Awards VIII presents.....Scott and Gia's Sex Tape...The Premiere!

The stage lights go down as the crowd in the arena mumbles excitedly. Surely this wasn't going to be real was it? Gia did promise that nothing was off limits, and as the lights dim to black inside the venue, the chat briefly reaches fever pitch, before a screen flickers on at the back of the stage, showing off a black and white image of Scott Rose-Hilton standing shirtless in front of the shot, staring into the lens. He taps the top of it for a second or two, before he looks behind him.

"Sepia?" he calls out towards the bed just behind him, obscured from the shot at the moment.

"I don't care, just come to bed. Anything is fine, babe," comes the reply, a stern voice from a clearly frustrated and rather ready for action Gia, Scott's wife and co-host for the evening. "Does it even matter what color it's in?" she whines, still off screen.

"The colour matters, woman, dammit," Scott says with a sigh. "How in the hell are people going to like screengrabs on Instagram if it's in standard technicolor? Don't be so naive, babe," he laughs, a sentiment that the audience in the arena joins in with momontarily. "Alright, I got it, babe. This one's perfect," he says, staring into the camera as a filter is applied to the lens and a frame pops up around it, the actual scene itself drape in a vintage style colour.

Scott steps away from the front of the camera and walks off screen, which allows the crowd to see Gia for the first time, laid on the bed in lingerie, looking quite sexy, a look that draws a few wolf whistles and cheers from the crowd inside the Chaos Awards. Gia looks at the camera for a moment and then across to the direction where Scott just went. Suddenly, a shirt comes flying across and hits the wall above where she was laying on the bed. Gia lifts it and tosses it onto the floor.

"You weren't even wearing a shirt. People saw you on the camera," she laughs, shaking her head.

"Shhhhh. It was for effect. We can edit it in later. At the start I mean."

"Yeah, but it was my shirt....." Gia says, rolling her eyes.

"I know. We can add the "crossdressing" tag on YouPorn if people think I was wearing it. He then comes back into sight as he walks towards the bed, before he climbs on and crawls towards his wife. She smiles and lays back as Scott gets on top of her, and the two start to kiss, Gia's hands coming up and wrapping around the back of his neck as the two of them start to get a bit hot and heavy. This scene seems to send the Chaos Awards into a moment of silence, as people start to believe they really are going to see sex between the two hosts on this screen. But just then, Scott stops and sits up, leaving Gia gasping a little and looking up at him.

"Wait......this isn't right," Scott sighs, shaking his head and rubbing his hand through his hair. Gia looks confused, her arms falling back to her side, before Scott gets up and walks around the bed. "Not right," he says as he approaches the camera. The screen then goes momentarily black, and there's a collective groan in the audience. Just then, it comes back on, though, this time with a different filter. The whole screen is now in green night vision mode.

"That's better! Now it looks like a celebrity sex tape!" Scott smiles into the lens, rubbing his hands together, bringing a laugh, cheer and applause from those watching at the Chaos Awards. Scott then gets back to the bed and lifts the covers, climbing back in beside his wife. As Scott climbs back atop her again, the two start to make out as before, some soft groans and moans starting to come from the bed as they kiss and get a little more hands on, moving around a bit and really clearly starting to get close to actually having sex - a concept that clearly has the Chaos Awards audience once again on the edge of its collective seat. "Bra...." Scott groans as he reaches around the back of Gia, fumbling with the clip on her bra. This alone manages to bring a sort of gasp and a hush as people anticipate seeing Gia topless. Scott starts to unclip it, when...

"MOMMY! DADDY!" A scream from a room along the hall from Scott and Gia's room rings out, and Scott groans again, dropping his head onto the pillow as Gia falls back. "Every time," Scott laughs.

"I think they're like psychic. Taking it in turns to stop us from having any fun at all," Gia laughs. "Do you want me to go and check she's ok?" Scott shakes his head.

"No, you're hardly dressed for it," he laughs. "I'll go, just keep yourself warm for me. I'll be back in no time at all. Then we can get on with this....blockbuster," he laughs. Scott drags himself out of bed and puts a shirt on before leaving the room through a door that is visible from the camera shot. As the hallway light flicks on and Scott leaves, the camera speeds up, with the clock in the bottom corner moving fast as it fast forwards for a considerable time while Scott is away, Gia sitting there waiting for him, before she eventually lays back down and stretches her arms.

After a while, the camera slows back to a normal pace, and Scott walks into the room, turning off the light and closing the door. "She was scared there was a monster outside...and then she needed a bottle," he says with a chuckle. "She fell back asleep eve...." he says, before he is cut off by a massive snore coming from their bed. He sighs and walks forward, all the time the snoring getting louder and louder, making the Awards audience laugh again. "Gia....come on, babe," Scott says with a little chuckle. As he approaches the bed, he shakes his head, lifting her arm and letting go, only for it to drop back onto the bed with a thud. "Fucking hell....didn't know I was gone that long," he laughs.

Scott shakes his head and stands up then, walking over to the desk at the side of the bed. He opens a drawer and looks in, before lifting out his laptop.

"Looks like it's just you and me tonight, buddy," he says with a sigh, patting the laptop mournfully. "Oh....and you," he adds when he sees a bottle of Gia's hand lotion on the side. As Scott lifts it and walks off screen, Gia still snoring loudly, the camera fades to black and the audience laugh and cheer as the house lights in the arena come back on again.