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Offline erich hess  
#21 Posted : 18 February 2013 07:14:47(UTC)
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erica:im all about the bald beavers.*snickers*

nina:great,love. now i'll never be able to look your wife in the face.

erica:try. it pisses her off when people dont look her in the eyes when speaking to her.

nina:i always do.you know i'm not like that.anymore. you know what i love about zander,love?

erica:his head looks like a crowning baby being born?

nina:*giggles* no! but it kinda does...seriously though,nobody looks to ever be having as much fun as he does in pictures.! i love it. keep rocking ass,zander!

erica: yeah,nina totally wants you to rock her's!

nina:erica! shut up!

erica:she isnt denying it.see?

nina:*elbows erica in the chest,knocking her wind out."

erica:what the fucky?! you bruised my tit!

nina:grow some first,love.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
thanks 1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.
niggajones on 18/02/2013(UTC)
Offline niggajones  
#22 Posted : 18 February 2013 07:19:01(UTC)
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Zander: I'm all for tit-based violence! And thank you, I'm all about not taking myself seriously. How could I? With my "crowning baby being born" head.
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Offline erich hess  
#23 Posted : 18 February 2013 07:25:36(UTC)
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erica:it fucking hurts! dont encourage it.

nina:*quickly jabs erica in the chest again* now you match,love! maybe you'll luck out and they'll swell.

erica:oooh, you are so getting it.*shakes her fist.* i like you zander.usually "progressive" anything seems to warrant snooby bitcy men,but you? you're interesting enough to make "prog" and ok word again.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
Offline niggajones  
#24 Posted : 18 February 2013 07:28:51(UTC)
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Zander: Ooh, how wonderfully bitchy, Nina. And I try my best to be as non-snooty as possible. You can't be snooty when you look like I do!
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Offline niggajones  
#25 Posted : 19 February 2013 10:55:32(UTC)
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HOLA AMIGOS!

So I'm out here on the road and I'm getting the chance to test out new material and whatnot, test the waters if you will, and I realized that all you lovely people who might not be in the vicinity of the tour or who can't afford to buy tickets are stuck with nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Squat. So, being the kind and the caring guy that I am, I decided to put this disgusting rough demo. It is DEFINITELY not finished, so expect nothing good. Oh, this is post is also a twoferone kind of deal,

TWO ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

The reason this demo is not complete, and the reason a lot of my songs are not complete, is because I find there's something lacking. I mean, my voice is good, but I can only multitrack my voice so many times. What I mean is, I want some femininity! Some "sistas doin' it for themselves" stuff going on! So, I'm on the lookout for a female vocalist who is willing to contribute vocals to my music. If you know any females with vocal talent who would be willing to contribute a shit ton of time to doing vocals on an old bald creeper's albums, or if you ARE one of them, then contact me! I take pride in not sexually harassing female co-workers since 1980! Anyways, here's what you've been waiting for, a brand-spanking-new track from yours truly!

TITLE: Smashing
GENRE: Hard Rock, Progressive Metal, Experimental Metal
LABEL: Self Released/Independent

The song begins with a crushingly heavy but simple slow chugging on guitar, which is quickly accompanied by thunderous drums and a multitracked chorus of voices, all provided by Zander. The riff continues, volume swelling, until the verse, where the guitar drops out, leaving only drums and synths to accompany Zander's operatic voice,

i'l get it right
but tell me if i hurt you
and kill me if i'm see through

i don't even know how
you never really tried
to live - life!


The guitar returns, adding to the heavy, soaring chorus,

i don't want to let you go
i don't want to leave my home, now
even if it takes my lifetime
to live - love!


The verse part returns, but there is a lack of vocals, probably because this is where Zander envisions female vocals going. After a bit, the chorus comes back, the vocals even more powerful than before,

i don't even feel your cold, now
i just wanna see you fold, now
even if it takes forever
i know you know better


There's a short bridge, with masterful sweep picking and arpeggios from Zander backed by swirling synths. Then the main chugging riff comes back, along with the chorus of voices, slowly fading out,

i don't even feel your cold, now
i just wanna see you fold, now
even if it takes forever
i know - i love!
we love! smashing!


The chugging riff continues to fade out until there is silence.
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thanks 2 users thanked niggajones for this useful post.
snap_itshannah on 19/02/2013(UTC), erich hess on 19/02/2013(UTC)
Offline niggajones  
#26 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:17:06(UTC)
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POOR QUALITY CONCERT FOOTAGE FOR THE WIN!

Hey there, assorted jelly beans and household objects, it is I, Zander! And I come today with some amazingly shitty concert video! If you live outside the spectrum of metality (what I call the touring route Jesus Knievel and I are on) the you probably don't know what one of my live shows is like. Well, seeing as I'm touring with Jesus freakin' Knievel I figure I should probably play some of my heavier songs, one of which you'll get to not only HEAR but EXPERIENCE LIVE in this shaky youtube footage I had a fan take. I'm just happy he didn't run off with my phone. You, however, should be happy you get to see me, warts, baldness and all, shredding in my natural habitat! Keep your stick on the ice, and remember, if it looks, smells, and tastes like dogshit, it's either dogshit or my music!

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thanks 2 users thanked niggajones for this useful post.
erich hess on 21/02/2013(UTC), snap_itshannah on 21/02/2013(UTC)
Offline erich hess  
#27 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:28:02(UTC)
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erica:....um...zander is fucking nuts. i am kinda scared to make,even good natured jokes about his hair.


nina:hold me,love. i'm scared too....and a little turned on.

erica:ouch! those things are sharp!
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Offline niggajones  
#28 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:31:43(UTC)
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Zander: Ah yes indeed, the nipples of metal are sharp. And it's not just because they're metal! No, it's because they can sense the pure hostility that can only come from an angry bald white man screaming about stuff that mostly applies to angry high schoolers.
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Offline snap_itshannah  
#29 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:32:30(UTC)
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Vara: God, you're fucking terrifying...
Offline niggajones  
#30 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:38:48(UTC)
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Zander: I'll take that as a compliment.
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Offline erich hess  
#31 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:40:15(UTC)
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erica:high school never ends. the jocks just get paid better and the popular kids become your boss. but the drama geeks become movie stars.so that works ok for them.
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Offline niggajones  
#32 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:43:29(UTC)
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Zander: come to think of it, the music industry is kind of like high school. except the lunches aren't as good.
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Offline erich hess  
#33 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:47:23(UTC)
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erica:i know. what is up with that? we need some frito bake up in here.


nina:frito bake? that sounds horrid,love. must be an american thing.

erica:no.its the national dish of japan.

nina:you dont need to be a bitch about it.
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Offline niggajones  
#34 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:49:17(UTC)
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Zander: Frito bake? sounds amazing, but like Nina said, it must be an american thing. I've never had it.
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Offline erich hess  
#35 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:52:55(UTC)
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erica:*gets very excited* ok picture chili...like not,real chili,but clearly canned chili...topped with fritos and cheese. oh my god.nothing beat being stoned as fuck in biology,then eating frito bake. ok, i'm running out for some canned chili,cheese and fritos.



nina:ugh, sounds.....tooty,love.
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Offline niggajones  
#36 Posted : 21 February 2013 11:56:41(UTC)
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Zander: Sounds incredibly tooty...but so alluring..
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Offline erich hess  
#37 Posted : 21 February 2013 12:05:43(UTC)
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erica:its not tooty! i dont do that stuff. but it is so great.if we ever tour together,we are going to make some!


nina:ew,i'll ride in another bus. i dont like choking on ass gas.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
Offline niggajones  
#38 Posted : 21 February 2013 12:08:38(UTC)
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Zander: That sounds delicious! The food, not the ass gas. Ass gas sounds like a bad thrash metal band from the 80's.
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erich hess on 21/02/2013(UTC)
Offline erich hess  
#39 Posted : 21 February 2013 22:05:08(UTC)
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nina:wasnt that one guy from guns n roses in ass gas?

erica:no.you're thinking of the fartz.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
Offline niggajones  
#40 Posted : 22 February 2013 01:53:43(UTC)
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Zander: when I was in high school, one of the br00tal bands that I chose to grace with my guitar playing skills was called Anal Torment...they didn't last very long.
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