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www.zandergray.com (NEW SONG STREAMING) - the official website for Zander Gray
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Offline erich hess  
#41 Posted : 22 February 2013 02:05:26(UTC)
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Erica:I love anal torment!

Nina:um,he's talking about a band,love....not the act.

Erica:well...this got awkward quick. So um....Zander,read any good books lately?
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Offline niggajones  
#42 Posted : 22 February 2013 09:58:14(UTC)
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Zander: I actually tried reading the hunger games but couldn't get into it, precisely because there wasn't enough anal torment.
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Offline erich hess  
#43 Posted : 22 February 2013 10:07:49(UTC)
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Erica: thanks for saving me the trouble. Anal torment is what got me into star wars. Wookies and ewoks specialize in torment of anuses.

Nina: their hairiness makes it easy,love. Make em sit on chewed bubble gum,then make them walk.
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Offline niggajones  
#44 Posted : 22 February 2013 10:13:39(UTC)
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Zander: that might be the most uncomfortable sentence I've ever heard in my entire life.
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Offline erich hess  
#45 Posted : 22 February 2013 10:16:07(UTC)
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Erica and nina: we aim to please!
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Offline niggajones  
#46 Posted : 23 February 2013 08:14:35(UTC)
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HEY, YOU TURDS!


It's Colonel Zander again, reporting to you from the road. To start off with, a bit of a PSA -

DON'T EAT ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS. THEY ARE NOT OYSTERS. THEY ARE TESTICLES.

I've made some mistakes in my life, and yesterday was one of them. So if I can prevent even one person from eating bull's balls, I'll be happy. Testicular consumables aside, I've got a big announcement for all you tens of fans out there - my first actual release! As you may know, I'm currently working on five completely different things, which although gives me more room to define how I want each release to sound, might not rub people the right way. Take this for example, maybe some of you more metalheadish folks out there really enjoyed me when i opened for Jesus Knievel. This is probably because I'm playing all my heavy shit. Then, I choose to release all the soft-rockish, proggy, experimental stuff as my first EP. Not because I hate metal, but because I happen to have it mostly recorded. Well, then the metal kids would pick it up, listen to it, and throw it in their dumpster, where it will sit amongst copies of The Black Album and countless Limp Bizkit albums. Well, I wouldn't want that to happen, would I? So uncle Zander has chosen to release a MIXTAPE as my first commercial release! You heard me, a mixtape. What a novel idea, right? So, this mixtape will feature 5 songs, each of which will be culled from the gigantic, twitching mass of material i've written. Each one will fit into a different motif, theme, and attitude, and therefore this EP will NOT FLOW AT ALL. It'll be like some big clunky iTunes playlist of songs that don't fit together. Jeez, the shit I do for you people! The mixtape will be released in exactly ONE WEEK! SEVEN DAYS! so until then, lay back, relax, pick up a guitar, sit behind the beat and start chugging!

- Love, Zander.
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thanks 2 users thanked niggajones for this useful post.
snap_itshannah on 23/02/2013(UTC), erich hess on 23/02/2013(UTC)
Offline erich hess  
#47 Posted : 23 February 2013 23:03:08(UTC)
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Nina: so You had balls in Your mouth,youll Live.not but twenty minutes ago,i did too.

Erica: ew,grody! Nina,you dont need to tell EVERYTHING.
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Offline niggajones  
#48 Posted : 24 February 2013 07:10:05(UTC)
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Zander: when you think about it, it's pretty metal. We cut off bull's balls, coat them in flour, deep fry them, then chew them up and swallow them into a pit of acid. Yes! I've been redeemed!
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Offline erich hess  
#49 Posted : 24 February 2013 09:47:17(UTC)
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Erica:*twin horned Hands* nk church burning is complete without bull balls.
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Offline niggajones  
#50 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:14:57(UTC)
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Offline erich hess  
#51 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:17:07(UTC)
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erich: the 20th of april. my favorite day of the year.

karoliena: really?! why?

erich:*giggles*

karoliena:fucking stoners.
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Offline niggajones  
#52 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:21:21(UTC)
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Zander: i figure on that day people will be stoned enough to actually pay for my music. they'll wander into record stores and haphazardly tell the pimply faced teenager manning the cash register to get them the new Zander Gray album. it'll melt their minds and turn their parents into satanic midgets. No word of a lie.
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Offline erich hess  
#53 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:25:19(UTC)
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erich:ah,the pimply faced teenager. the driving force of the music industry. i would go as far as to say "unsung hero". i love hearing their opinions on why my choice in music sucks. they think they are cool because they listen to obscure bands like "my cat's mustache" and shit. you know,sometimes there are reasons why bands are obscure.
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Offline niggajones  
#54 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:28:50(UTC)
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Zander: exactly! most bands that are obscure are obscure because...well, because they suck. this is coming from an extremely obscure artist...but at least i can honestly say my album will be better than "panic on romance while i fall on boys time low" or whatever the kids are listening to these days.
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Offline erich hess  
#55 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:31:03(UTC)
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erich:sounds right to me. i have to ask ada what all the kids are into. fucking modern bands with their weird hair and tight pants. the world is all topsy turvey.


karoliena:*hums "rock the cradle of love".*
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Offline niggajones  
#56 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:35:39(UTC)
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Zander: isn't your wife what the kids are listening to these days? not saying your wife sucks, just saying it's surprising they listen to her when she doesn't suck. not saying she doesn't, you know, suck, but...er, disregard everything i say. sometimes i start my sentences without knowing where they're going to end up.
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Offline erich hess  
#57 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:40:54(UTC)
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erich:ada is a saint! but yea,she is what the kids like these days..at least the ones with good taste.i know they arent listening to me. the median age at an atomic war bride show is like 26. which is nice,as i never had to worry about the dreaded underage groupie.
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Offline niggajones  
#58 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:46:15(UTC)
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Zander: I wish I had underage groupies to worry about. My fans consist of nerdy intellectuals, music theorists, hippies, and the occasional metal goon.
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Offline erich hess  
#59 Posted : 02 April 2013 12:55:55(UTC)
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erich:dial back the musicianship about 4 notches to rid yourself of that element. the typical war bride show features pin up type girls and elvis impersonators. god i love my job.
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Offline niggajones  
#60 Posted : 02 April 2013 13:00:39(UTC)
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Zander: if only I had hair...I'd have the most badass pompadour...
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