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Rum - Try Forgiveness [STREAMING IN FULL] - "I tried forgiveness/But it always finds itself in my writing & I'm left to push it right back down"

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kandii		#1 Posted : 17 June 2017 07:00:49(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		Released: February 23rd, 2021 Recorded: 2016-2017; Home Studio Genre: Alternative Hip Hop, Acoustic Hip Hop, Alt-R&B Label: Tric-Jam Records, Studio60 Records, Dahlhouse Enterntainment Producers: FancyN (exec.), DrewWB, inZane Try Forgiveness Try Forgiveness is the debut album from Cuban-Barbadian rapper and producer, Niña Rumillani Tarantino. Better known as Rum, the solo album comes after 8 years of releasing music as one half of the urban duo, Rum & Coke. The album features an abstract and experimental sound in comparison to Rum's debut extended play, Word of Mouth, and includes guest vocals from Andrea Khan, Drew Westbrook, Erich Hess and her partner-in-crime, Coke. Production is handled by Tarantino herself under the producing alias FancyN, alongside longtime collaborators, DrewWB and inZane. On March 8th, 2015, Rum surprise released a 4-track mini-album, Word of Mouth. The EP was received generally well by critics and even better by the public: the extended play debuting at #1 and holding the spot for an extra week. To date, the album has sold 3 millions copies despite receiving not a spec of promotion. This project lead to the anticipation of a full length project from Rum. Despite the sudden rise of demand, Rum didn't start recording an album until almost a year later, writing and recording the first song in April of 2016. The album's process didn't pick up until late 2016 and early 2017. The last track to be recorded was recorded in May 2017, barely a month before it's release. Initially mean to be released by Tric-Jam Records, Studio60 Records and Dahlhouse Entertainment on June 11th, 2017, the record was pushed back an extra 3 and a half years after the rapper disappeared from the public eye, her affiliated management company Dahlhouse Entertainment doing the same just a year later. Taking a hiatus for the sake of her mental health and for the birth of her son Ángelo, the album serves as a suprise release after it's long wait. The highly anticipated album stumps all expectations. With Try Forgiveness, Rum switches it up, creating an experimental album full of sung-raps, breaking the boundaries that being the rapper in Rum & Coke might've given her. She even causes critics to question what it truly means to be a Hip Hop artist in 2021, her refusal to be put in any box hoping to influence listeners to expand their minds and accept new ideas of the genre. However, reviewers are mixed on whether or not her experimentation is exactly a good thing, not sure a gloomy album like Try Forgiveness does her rapping, singing or production justice. Still, with painfully honest lyrics, Rum spills her soul with the help of somber guitars, gospel-like piano pieces and groovy mass productions that strip back her mask. Track listing Total length: 54:50 Background (as discussed with RapGenius) Andrea Checks In "So technically the first track written for this album was Andrea's interlude, Andrea Checks In. That's because it wasn't meant for this album, it was a verse meant for Better In Tongues but the song it was on never got finalized. I've had these Andrea vocals for years and I wanted to do something with it, the verse always tugged at my wig. Last minute, I cooked up this cute little beat around it and turned it into a really badass interlude. I love a good interlude. Albums without interludes aren't albums, they're jokes." Consideration Would Kill Ya "The first track I wrote for the album was this one. I didn't know it was going to be for the album at the time, I was having a bad day and was just really fed up with everyone, so I started writing... I think it's a bit melodramatic and was hesitant about putting it on Try Forgiveness but then I realized the whole damn album is melodramatic." Coke Yells At Me "This might be one of the only songs that Coke sings on without having any actual writing credits. I wrote it and was originally planning to sing it but I felt like Coke could do the vocal arrangements justice as well as relate to the lyrics. Plus, I really wanted my bitch to be apart of this album in some vein." I Lit The World Up "What inspired me to write this song was a really old memory that came back to me out of nowhere. I forgot why or when but I remember one day I went up in front of the entire school trying to show off my rap skills and completely bombed my freestyle. I legit got booed off the stage, like something out of a movie. I thought it was funny how I didn't care at the time and I don't know, it got me thinking bout my road to fame and shit. I Lit The World Up is the product of all that self reflection, I even gave it that gospel feel to make it sound like a testimony." Duality Reality "Been holding onto this one for a while even though I've been sooo tempted to release it as a single. I honestly had no idea what to do with this damn album single-wise but I was scared it'd put the wrong idea out there if it was on it's own and not in context of the album. When I wrote Duality Reality, I knew it was my best work lyrically." Ain't That Deep "Everyone knows this song because it's the only single I released from the album. I was gonna hold onto it but thought it'd be a cute song to just throw out there since at the time, Christmas was right around the corner. People liked it more than I expected them to and it was a hit somehow so chiiild, I guess it's on the album." The Glow From Your Soaps "Aikya showed me a song she wrote for me and I was like damn, I gotta write an even better song and be a good girlfriend! This is what I came up with. It's nowhere near better than anything Aikya's written about me but I kinda like it, there's just a charm to it's messiness. Of course we broke up like a month later but oh bitch, she would've been SHOOK if I dropped this one on her while we were still together!" In My Feelings "I wrote In My Feelings while I was at a Denny's and very much in my feelings. What more can I say? This was a turning point for the album. This was when I knew I was finally putting something together for myself. By now, I had written enough songs and this song gave me a direction.. the theme was going to be about my fucked up ways, this song made that decision for me." I Was Playing "Pretty sure I wrote I Was Playing the same night I wrote In My Feelings, if not pretty close around same time. I had some shit to get off my chest after these last 5 years of fame." Don't Waste My Time "Knowing no statement from Rum was complete without me snapping to a sick ass beat, Don't Waste My Time was soon born and wooh did I deliver! I wrote it in the studio and though it took me a while to finish, it was still technically written before a lot of the others. It sort of started off as a freestyle and then I just kept the basic structure that the beat set." Drew Lazy As FUCK! "I'm actually not allowed to say what this song is for and why we did it. So, um... yeah! Sad and Soggee "Me and Zane were in the studio and we were messing round with some beats and I don't know, the shit turned out wavy! I've loved Migos for years, I still remember where I was when I heard Hannah Montana, the OG version. Before I even knew what the song would be about, I knew I was going to name it Sad and Soggee in honor of Bad and Boujee. Loose Change "At this point in the album's process, I realized a lot of the songs were about other people so I wanted to make sure there were still plenty of songs about me. This one is like 2 songs in 1, I wrote the second half first and sort of built around it." Erich Shares His Testimony "This song has some history behind it. It was one of the first I wrote but I lost it somehow. When I lose songs, I just give up on them because fuck that. You know how hard it is to rewrite a song? Ugh. But I did it or whatever. Having Erich on the song was a last minute idea and wow, was it a good one. He sang the fuck out of that track! Yaaaas, Erich!" Try Forgiveness "Try Forgiveness was the last song I wrote for the album. I just needed a track to wrap everything up and tie it all together. I already knew what I was going to name the album, I purposely wanted it to serve as the title track and really clarify what the album is about. Once I finished this one, I knew I was done. Edited by user 23 February 2021 17:02:36(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#2 Posted : 17 June 2017 09:57:02(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		1. Erich Shares His Testimony Length: 4:28 Genre: Alternative Soul Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: FancyN, DrewWB Rum Erich Hess I swear you can smell it the minute you step in, desperation...sin... It's all so present They put their lives on standby so the speakers can make them feel low, you're entitled if you don't No thoughts, no questions Soak it all up like a sponge, a joke without the pun I chose my psalm Even traced the cracks of 2 rocks with my tongue If you ask me, it's all the same Sinner's crowd, glass stained Monkey see, monkey do, monkey don't, Simon Says what he wants We dance along blindly We say we're here to learn how to live but we came to forget, selective of who to forgive In the perfect world, it'd help put it all behind me Missed the whole point, connected dots I chose my psalm Even tried to mask my doubts by singing along in tongues Never makes anything better But I still come crawling back Sinners, unspoken cracks... And stained glass [mean ass guitar] Thank you, Brother Erich, for your testimony It'd be contradictory if I said I agree, let's just say I don't disagree I need something to believe, a trait common among all humanity Blame it on my being, don't you blame it on me We're all just looking for salvation, we're all just looking for confirmation Let's study the stars' formation, maybe they know Why the fuck are we here? Justify my ego It's the world wide webbing, everything's connected Same old ladies in the front row used to crowd the dance floor, how much you betting? Covers the same holes, just calls for different dressing Put em on payroll just to reflect on our life lessons I came here not to think, you got the answers? Speak! If at least I feel better when I leave, I'll take it, one for me All for, "once upon a time, somebody got it right" But I'll believe when I see it with my own eyes Quote: I swear you can smell it the minute you step in, desperation...sin... It's all so present The whole point of this song was to draw comparisons to people who go to church every Sunday to the people who go to the club every Saturday. Not even in a disrespectful way either, I'm not trying to call either of these groups out or anything. I'm just making a statement: we're all humans, we're all desperately trying to figure this shit out. We're searching for salvation in different ways and either way, it's pretty pathetic. Quote: They put their lives on standby so the speakers can make them feel low, you're entitled if you don't No thoughts, no questions Soak it all up like a sponge, a joke without the pun Church is soooo long and usually, when you go to the club, you stay all night. We waste hours of our days in these settings soaking up these lifestyles, whichever lifestyle it may be. All just to hear someone tell you how to live. You got rappers in the speakers yelling, "Fuck bitches, get money!" and you got people at church speaking, telling you to pray a lot and read your scripture. To be in church and not really feeling the message is heavily looked down upon, you come off as extremely entitled and "too good for the word". It's the same thing in the club, if you not shaking some ass then bitch, what the fuck? Go home. There's not really any excuses or exceptions, not much of anything but the intake of your environment. You're supposed to turn up in the club or let go and let God in the church, it doesn't leave room to question and think about anything. As someone who overthinks and questions everything, I think a system like that is a whole ass joke. Quote: I chose my psalm Whenever people drag religion, they always imply that religious folk are mindless and brainwashed, and the same is thought of party animals and club hoppers. But I disagree with both. I think plenty of people realize the faults in the ways they live but just choose to anyway. They chose their path, they're gonna stick with it. Quote: Even traced the cracks of 2 rocks with my tongue If you ask me, it's all the same Sinner's crowd, glass stained This song was originally written about alcoholism, where the person was basically like, "who needs the Bible when you got Henny?". This is kinda where that shows most. When I say 'the cracks of 2 rocks' I'm talking about the faults within the ten commandments as well as the literal cracks in ice when you drink something on the rocks. Both the club and church are full of sinners and stained glass is like the decorative glass in Catholic churches as well as like actual glass cups with water spots from alcohol and shit. Check all this wordplay, sis. Quote: Monkey see, monkey do, monkey don't, Simon Says what he wants We dance along blindly I HATE this line but child... I'm mostly referring to the songs that like literally tell you how to dance and obviously holy scripture. The 'Simon' in these scenarios are the DJs and the speakers at church, whoever they may be. If I'm wording this weird it's because I'm trying to say preachers without actually saying preachers. I'm not trying to make this all about Christianity...they're not the only religion and aren't the only fuck ups. I'm tryna loosen my grip on their edges. I'm an equalist honey, we universally drag religion 'round here. Quote: We say we're here to learn how to live but we came to forget, selective of who to forgive In the perfect world, it'd help put it all behind me Missed the whole point, connected dots I think one of the one reasons why someone would be like, "damn, I definitely HAVE to go to church/the club this week!" is because something has happened and they need to forget about it and receive confirmation that everything's gonna be okay. We go in wanting to forgive and forget but come out like, "Migos and I have decided that it's within my best interests to call up my shooters." A lot of our music and even holy scripture is low-key vengeful as hell, it doesn't help us at all. We take from it whatever we want, regardless what they might actually be trying to say, which is usually not even all that better. Quote: Thank you, Brother Erich, for your testimony It'd be contradictory if I said I agree, let's just say I don't disagree My biggest problem with religion is that I used to be religious. Like, I really wasted years of my life trying to be accepted by something I KNEW didn't exist, me and that nigga named God always gonna have beef, bitch. This verse from me is basically my past semi-religious self as well as my present party animal self making excuses. Quote: I need something to believe, a trait common among all humanity Blame it on my being, don't you blame it on me We're all just looking for salvation, we're all just looking for confirmation Let's study the stars' formation, maybe they know Why the fuck are we here? Justify my ego As I said before, the whole point of this song was to point out how everyone just wants confirmation and salvation. What I'm tryna say here is that as a human I can't find it in myself to actually believe in myself. I need to believe in somebody... something, you know? Just like anybody, I wanna know why we're here, I wanna know the point and if I can't find the answers I need, I'll take what I can get. Being me, that mindset don't last long, it's against everything I do believe. Quote: It's the world wide webbing, everything's connected Same old ladies in the front row used to crowd the dance floor, how much you betting? Covers the same holes, just calls for different dressing World wide web...connect...webbing [giggles]. Covers up.....different dressing....church clothes, club clothes... I know, I'm a genius. Lil Niña wid da wordplay always at it!!! Quote: Put em on payroll just to reflect on our life lessons I came here not to think, you got the answers? Speak! If at least I feel better when I leave, I'll take it, one for me Everybody knows that hella people are excluded from the church but hella people are also excluded from the clubs too! Broke niggas don't have a reason to be happy in the club, if they can even get in. They matter too, y'all! Be mindful! Quote: All for, "once upon a time, somebody got it right" But I'll believe when I see it with my own eyes This line is sort of where I fall out of faith. Whenever you start to lose belief in your lifestyle, you're always reminded of all these success stories. "Moses made it off the Earf, Migos made it out the club alive", and it's just like okay cool but that question of 'when is it going to be my turn?' is just left lingering in the air for soooo long. Edited by user 23 December 2020 11:59:07(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#3 Posted : 17 June 2017 10:51:28(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		Track: Ain't That Deep Artist: Rum Genre: Soul Label: Tric-Jam, Studio60 Records Written by: Nina "Rum" Tarantino Produced by: DrewWB Length: 4:00 “Ain't That Deep” is a single written and recorded by Cuban-Barbadian rapper and producer Niña "Rum" Tarantino. Rumored to be apart of a pending solo album, the track serves as Rum's first solo track in 2 years. Produced by Drew Westbrook, the song's mellow sound gives insight to Rum's views on religion, more specifically, Christianity. Rum wrote: Everytime you hear a song about religion, it's annoyingly passionate. Like, it doesn't matter if they'regracious or furious, the singer is just always in their feelings. I thought it'd be cool and refreshing to make a song about belief in higher powers that seemed pretty nonchalant. The beat is such a slow jam and I wanted to downplay all emotion, kind of give the song a monotonic this-is-just-another-Sunday feel. You ever heard of the "gay agenda"? Check this, the straights are so intimidated by the LGBTQ+ community finally getting some representation that they really think there's some agenda to make all our kids gay and get rid of the REAL men! That idea no doubt stems from the minds of a lot of Christians. Growing up I'd always listen to Grandma Nita talk about how the world is full of sin and the world was tryna kill all the true believers off but if you knew Jesus, it was like having the platinum credit card with no limits and a Free membership to Costco. In this song I sort of sing to her. It took me a long time to realize how irrational that sounded, the world's way too random for someone to be keeping all these tabs on it. Naturally, I assume that no one is. "Santa Claus is a lie told To make the season marketable They only care about the toys sold No damns for the damned souls" That's exactly what you told me "No different from the days in Rome Hide the truth and they'll never know" That's exactly what you told me "Want us gone want us on the street Only way to keep the rest sleep 'Cause dead men tell no tales And no one gets any ideas Never goes to those who know hell When he, the devil, goes to make a deal" That's exactly what you told me And it's telling What you said was wrong Don't know why it took so long For me to see The world just ain't that deep "Ain't it weird, ain't it real funny? What's the deal with that Easter Bunny? Good Friday ain't too good Don't know the meaning like we all should" That's exactly what you told me "Provided answers and they're still lost Learn the science just to neglect the cross" That's exactly what you told me "Can't even pray in the schools Mute the elders, stunt the youth But listen child, I know what to do Pray hard, say it's God you choose And everything's gonna be okay With him you'll never see a bad day" That's exactly what you told me And it's telling What you said was wrong Don't know why it took so long For me to see The world just ain't that deep Edited by user 23 February 2021 10:08:19(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#4 Posted : 17 June 2017 11:10:52(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		3. The Glow From Your Soaps Length: 4:10 Genre: Indie R&B Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: FancyN Rum (You were there for me when I got knocked down) (Shit, I'm bout to try again) (I don't want you to leave) (But we both know how this is gonna end) (Before it all goes wrong, I'ma get you right) (Before it all goes wrong, we still got time) Don’t like the lights off, leave the TV on and bright It’s like I’m scared of the dark until I see you in some blue light Gonna let you take charge and do all that freaky shit you like My pride aside, it’s nice to have someone to talk to sometimes You give great advice I don’t take it though, no ‘Cause you still don’t know me well enough No one does, no one does Yet sometimes I think you know too much I get you off You turn me on Come make me think I’ll keep you warm I was looking for balance But you came around and shook that up You’ll never be mine, and that’s why I want you so much And you only want to know me, because I always make it tough I don’t take this serious For once, I know where I stand We’ll never go far But I’m good where I am I'm good where I am Underneath you, admiring the glow from your soaps It’s like a filter, take your clothes off and put on a show Make me feel a way I’d be too ashamed to admit And we’ll never look at this show the same again I don't want to call this love, I just can't I'll find a way to fuck this up, I always do It's fun until you have to shake it off, it's like playing in the sand I'll find a way to fuck this up, where will that leave you? Don't want to feel like I do but I can't help it I'll find a way to fuck this up, I'm helpless Keeping you here is selfish You'll realize it soon I don't want to call this love, I just can't I'll find a way to fuck this up, I always do I'll find a way to fuck this up, where will that leave you? Quote: (You were there for me when I got knocked down) (Shit, I'm bout to try again) (I don't want you to leave) (But we both know how this is gonna end) (Before it all goes wrong, I'ma get you right) (Before it all goes wrong, we still got time) Okay well I'm just gonna say it! This song is about Aikya Balan! We didn't really start telling people until the end but we were together for almost 2 years? It was on and off but it counts. I kinda ran back and forth between her and Brandon, it was a messy era in my life. When I got cheated on on live television, I was in a few moods and when Aikya got eliminated from the Big Brother house, we started working together more and things just sort of fell in place. She was there for me through it all and never felt like a rebound. We had something special and we both knew it wasn't going to go anywhere but we wanted to see how far we could take it. Quote: Don’t like the lights off, leave the TV on and bright It’s like I’m scared of the dark until I see you in some blue light People always ask me if I like the lights on or off and my answer is always both. Turn the TV on and let's fuck to some paid programming! Quote: Gonna let you take charge and do all that freaky shit you like Aikya is as much of a freak as her music implies. Except she's the exact opposite as she writes... It's so weird. Small girl, small voice but extremely dominant. I was BLESSED, honey. Quote: My pride aside, it’s nice to have someone to talk to sometimes You give great advice I don’t take it though, no You still don’t know me well enough No one does, no one does Yet sometimes I think you know too much You could tell me how you feel about me all day but I won't believe any of it until you actually reach out to me. Showing that you trust me and care about what I have to say...that's all the confirmation I need. Since I know what it means to me, I always try to reach out to the people I love but I can never really accept their help and advice. They don't really know me. No one really knows me. I echo that idea throughout the whole album because I really am hiding so much from everyone and I'm tired of hoes playing like they know me. You don't, I swear to God. At the time, Aikya was the person who knew the most about me. Everyone was getting 5 percent of me while she was getting at least 40. That scared me a little, she knew too much. I was always waiting for her to throw her hands up and decide enough was enough but she didn't... Well, she kind of didn't get the chance to. I ran her away. Quote: I get you off You turn me on Come make me think I’ll keep you warm Sex if fun, sex is great. I love sex, honestly. But I also LIVE for some pillow talk. To lay down next to an intellectual and just let your mouth move while your mind runs and your heart races... It's such an euphoric feeling for me. After sex, some girls need you to tell them that you're in love but I like to talk about politics and astrophysics and aura colors and shit. I kind of miss that with Aikya, everything she has to say is interesting. Aikya in her entirety is just so intriguing. Quote: I was looking for balance You came around and shook that up You’ll never be mine, that’s why I want you so much And you only want to know me, because I always make it tough When the whole thing with Mariko went down, I just told myself that I was going to stick to myself and stay away from relationships but then... Aikya. [laughs] Do I really have to say more? What was so great was that it all felt backwards. We were so on and off because she didn't want to be pinned down. She'd literally break it off just so she could start fucking other people again and it all just made me want her more and more. I love a challenge, she did too. I feel like that's what kept us going for as long as we did. Quote: I don’t take this serious For once, I know where I stand We’ll never go far But I’m good where I am I'm good where I am I mean, I guess if you know a relationship is gonna end it's probably best not to waste your time on it but I find it a much better alternative to feeling like a relationship is gonna last forever just to find out it won't. I was just really comfortable with our status and even our fate, I knew what it meant to us, I could brace myself for the impact and we'd both recover quickly. Quote: Underneath you, admiring the glow from my soaps It’s like a filter, take your clothes off and put on a show Make me feel a way I’d be too ashamed to admit And we’ll never look at this show the same again This is why I don't have sex to music! I don't wanna turn on my favorite song later and think about all that!! I'd rather YOU turn on your favorite show. I love all the different shadows shows cast in the dark....all the colors, all the movement. It's like a real live Snapchat filter, beautiful shit. Quote: I don't want to call this love, I just can't I'll find a way to fuck this up, I always do It's fun until you have to shake it off, it's like playing in the sand I'll find a way to fuck this up, where will that leave you? Don't want to feel like I do but I can't help it I'll find a way to fuck this up, I'm helpless Keeping you here is selfish You'll realize it soon I don't want to call this love, I just can't I'll find a way to fuck this up, I always do I'll find a way to fuck this up, where will that leave you? I'm just so selfish, I know how I am but I let people date me anyway. [Sighs] I compare being in love with me to playing in the sand because I imagine it's very annoying and there's nothing more annoying than sand. Ughhhh, it's why I can't stand going to the beach. I've been living by beaches all my life, sand gets everywhere and is so hard to get off. Definition of a nuisance, yo. Edited by user 02 July 2017 02:35:29(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#5 Posted : 02 July 2017 02:41:53(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		4. Sad and Soggee Length: 3:51 Genre: Nu-Disco Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: FancyN, inZane Rum (When the memories come rushing in) (Try forgiveness) (Try forgiveness) (Try, try) (When the memories come rushing in) (Try forgiveness) (Try forgiveness) (Just try) I could die tonight but that'd just be boring Before you broke my fall, I could've sworn I was soaring Nothing left to prove and yet, still so far from content Really, I don't mind waiting 'round for it to all make sense I chase my curiosities, it keeps my mind at ease Bury me in loose ends, fuck a finale Can't help but love a good mystery Even if all they do is leave you sad and soggy You know how I feel about waiting When I started running my life, I think I ran out of patience I forgot you forgot to call, this is day 10 Which one of us gon' stop playing? Talk shit but still so bad at communicating Sucks being a wanderer's vacation You make my mind wonder to day's end It's why I let you stay, knowing you'll be gone 'fore the day ends I could die tonight but that'd just be boring Before you broke my fall, I could've sworn I was soaring Nothing left to prove and yet, still so far from content Really, I don't mind waiting 'round for it to all make sense I chase my curiosities, it keeps my mind at ease Bury me in loose ends, fuck a finale Can't help but love a good mystery Even if all they do is leave you sad and soggy If I'm gonna chase a grown boy, I'ma make it look sexy Bought an overpriced bag, can't take you back, would if you let me Messy! I got a soft spot for the hearts I can't have My lovelife's a marathon, same old shit back to back No new news, it's back to you, Brad! Find a new way to hurt and think, "I'm bout to do that!" Why else would I mistake a discrepancy for a bond? I could understand if this was 'cause ecstasy's on the line Don't know what any of it means, going out of my mind I fetishize the shattered cause they reflect me on the inside Outside can't be as fun as laying beside, you'll be back in due time Close my eyes, if I don't wake up does it count as bedtime? I could die tonight but that'd just be boring Before you broke my fall, I could've sworn I was soaring Nothing left to prove and yet, still so far from content Really, I don't mind waiting 'round for it to all make sense I chase my curiosities, it keeps my mind at ease Bury me in loose ends, fuck a finale Can't help but love a good mystery Even if all they do is leave you sad and soggy (When the memories come rushing in) (Try forgiveness) (Try forgiveness) (Try, try) (When the memories come rushing in) (Try forgiveness) (Try forgiveness) (Just try) Quote: (When the memories come rushing in) (Try forgiveness) (Try forgiveness) (Try, try) (When the memories come rushing in) (Try forgiveness) (Try forgiveness) (Just try) I think this is my favorite song from this album. Mostly because it was inspired by the most influential trap group of our time, Migos. Legends, I know. I love the overall vibe of the song and the lyrics are so casual but like... at a second glance, you can tell that they're much deeper than what the groovy beat implies. The song is about my entire love life for the past 4 years or so, it's not really focused on just one person as the first verse kinda lets on. Quote: You know how I feel about waiting When I started running my life, I think I ran out of patience I hate having to wait for other people. It's mostly why I do everything by myself and maybe with those who I know for sure have a fast output. Putting my plans on hold while someone else gets their shit together? Over my dead body. The slows are such a burden, literal cumstains. Even having to wait for my parents or older brothers to do things for me when I was young made me want to punch holes in the wall. My grown ass definitely don't tolerate it now. Quote: I forgot you forgot to call, this is day 10 Which one of us gon' stop playing? Talk shit but still so bad at communicating Sucks being a wanderer's vacation You make my mind wonder to day's end It's why I let you stay, knowing you'll be gone 'fore the day ends I wrote this with Brandon Grey on my mind. I don't know if I attract these kind of people or what but niggas keep going ghost on me and it's so annoying. I'm not needy and I'm rarely in my feelings. All I want is CONSISTENT dick! How is that hard??? Just show up! It sucks to feel that way in something that's so loosely defined as a relationship. I never wanna come off as clingy or anything but sometimes I wish it wasn't so hard to say, "Can you stay around for a bit? I kinda like how you make me feel." Quote: If I'm gonna chase a grown boy, I'ma make it look sexy You can talk a lot of shit about the decisions I make but at the end of the day...I did it all with a fair amount of sex appeal and you bitches can't take that away from me! Quote: Bought an overpriced bag, can't take you back, would if you let me I actually don't buy a lot of overpriced things. Designers send me a lot of free stuff and whatever I don't have I just steal from Coke. But I do go all out for sneakers...I'm a big sneakerhead! Jay's, Adidas, Nikes, Yeezy's, KD's... WHATEVERS. Gotta catch em all! Quote: Messy! I got a soft spot for the hearts I can't have I don't get rejected a lot so when I do, I don't really know how to deal with it. It's more like a challenge to me, like, "okay you aren't dumb enough to get involved with me NOW but wait a month, sis!" I swear I'm like some frat boy, except not...rapey. Quote: My lovelife's a marathon, same old shit back to back My favorite marathons are Golden Girls marathons and Maude marathons. Maude is such an underrated classic. I also love The Jeffersons marathons, I mean who doesn't? Amen, a classic. 227, yes yes yes! And you can't forget about Night Court marathons! They're rare but they're out there! Quote: No new news, it's back to you, Brad! Find a new way to hurt and think, "I'm bout to do that!" Why else would I mistake a discrepancy for a bond? At this point in my life, it's become really hard not to notice the pattern here. I keep getting the same result and every equation shares a common denominator... Me. Only so many people can leave you before you start blaming yourself. I think I choose the wrong people on purpose. I like putting myself through this, I feed off of draining my own energy somehow. I somehow convince myself it's real every time and act surprised when I realize it's not. Quote: I could understand if this was 'cause ecstasy's on the line Don't know what any of it means, going out of my mind I think the most stressful thing in a relationship is when you accidentally blur the lines and realize it's becoming more than lust. You don't know if the person feels the same and you don't know how easily you'll be able to get over it. You just know that it's not fun no mo. Quote: I fetishize the shattered cause they reflect me on the inside WOOH, THE TEA IS EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD TODAY! Quote: Outside can't be as fun as laying beside, you'll be back in due time Close my eyes, if I don't wake up does it count as bedtime? I'm always super dramatic about everything but at the end of the day, I know these no good fools are gonna come crawling right back. And you're damn right, Ima give them that second chance for the millionth time! Quote: I could die tonight but that'd just be boring Honestly, if there is a god up there, their not killing me off no time soon. I have so many more ways to fuck up left! I know whatever is watching over us is getting their LIFE at the mess of me. I'm probably their favorite antagonist. I keep the show moving, I get thicker with the plot. That bitch know better. Quote: Before you broke my fall, I could've sworn I was soaring Between the fame and the success, my life has been really euphoric. I really feel like the only thing that keeps me grounded is my lovelife. It never fails to knock me back to me senses. Just when I'm starting to have fun too! Ain't that a bitch? Quote: Nothing left to prove and yet, still so far from content If I was a man, people would call me the greatest ever. Im more than just an established rapper...I've been out here busting my ass for the Hip Hop community and I don't get half the respect I deserve because I rap about dick and sing about feelings. I really don't have anything to prove but I'm still out here craving that recognition. It's never enough for me. Quote: Really, I don't mind waiting 'round for it to all make sense I chase my curiosities, it keeps my mind at ease Bury me in loose ends, fuck a finale There's just something so soothing about having questions with no real answers, and atvthe same time it's so stressful. I doubt like to think about me so distracting myself from doing that by trying to decipher another person is my kink. I want someone who's gonna keep me on my toes and leave me high and dry. I can't fuck with no boring hoes. Quote: Can't help but love a good mystery Even if all they do is leave you sad and soggy SIGH.
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kandii		#6 Posted : 02 July 2017 03:16:02(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		5. Andrea Checks In Length: 1:24 Genre: Alt-Hip Hop Written by: Andrea Mason, Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: FancyN Andrea All night long All night long, I could go through a whole list on what is wrong You got no hope, you a joke, need to get your ass straight, man I could go on But isn't it so much easier to turn up this song? Put your new Beats on, put that hot track on, Max volume, block me out, anything to stop this whiny bitch goin' on See I know you like living hard and fast Looking fresh to death, came straight out a mag Ain't so slow to ask for a holler when the DJ spinning his tracks But you so quick to hide away when it's time to put you on blast I ain't censoring myself for nobody, keep it real, it is what it is No radio edit, no clean cut version, I gotta get right down to this bizz Now it's time to tell a few home truths, let me say what I gotta say You gon' fuck right off when I step to the mic, ain't gonna listen anyway Shame that you dont know how to live Survived another night just to ask, "what gives??" Shame that you don't care 'cause you think no one cares House is empty but I'm still checking in I think you left the stove on, left yourself for cold but I can feel a fire burning strong After so many years of being low, I'm so naive, I think you still have a chance to grow When you hit rock bottom there's only one place left to go Suck it up, break the mold and pick yourself off the floor Or would you rather deteriorate? Such a shame! Edited by user 23 December 2020 12:18:10(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#7 Posted : 03 July 2017 10:20:46(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		6. Consideration Would Kill Ya Length: 2:55 Genre: R&B Soul Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: DrewWB Rum You're too invested It only leaves you restless You swear you never hurt but they're so damn reckless You're the only reason they're not wrecking But they always seem to wreck it Too nice to mention you're crashing and burning but when you do they never hear it So you tread lightly For the sake of everyone else Muffling your cries Because you can't remind another of hell If you weren't already dead inside Consideration would kill ya Imagine if you could be as selfish If only you cared for yourself this much I wonder who tricked you into believing you don't deserve love Why give it away to those who'll never care enough? They'll never care enough Enough Enough is enough Enough is enough Enough is enough Enough is enough Enough is enough You're too inspired You're too fucking decent You know well positivity doesn't make peace, let's talk about the real reason You're a pushover, you struggle with self respect You'll argue over the smallest detail to your deathbed But when your heart is on the line, you're silent Treading lightly For the sake of everyone else Muffling your cries Because you can't handle admitting you live in hell If you weren't already dead inside Consideration would kill ya Imagine if you could be as selfish If only you cared for yourself this much I wonder who tricked you into believing you don't deserve love Why give it away to those who'll never care enough? Will you ever be enough? No No, noo! Quote: You're too invested It only leaves you restless You swear you never hurt but they're so damn reckless You're the only reason they're not wrecking But they always seem to wreck it You're crashing and burning but they never see it If I could offer anything valuable to anybody on this earth, its a strong friendship. I'm talking a whole ass support system. It's like I live vicariously through my friends, I'm happy when they're happy, I'm mad when they're mad. I notice though that when people are having a hard time they like to take it out on the people close to them. People think that since I'm so bold that I can handle whatever they send my way and won't take it to the heart. And I really try not to, but I always end up feeling like I'm letting people walk all over me. This song was about my frustration with that. Because in a way, I am letting people get away with trying me so that I don't have to burn bridges and I shouldn't have to even do that. Quote: So you tread lightly For the sake of everyone else Muffling your cries Because you can't remind another of hell I always want to make the people around me happy and comfortable. I never want to burden anybody with my problems, everybody's got problems, ya know? I just wish every now and then someone would be as selfless. I need an outlet too. It's not healthy for me to keep it all in. Quote: They'll never care enough Enough Enough is enough Enough is enough Enough is enough Enough is enough Enough is enough You ever feel like you're dedicating all your time and effort to someone who couldn't care less? Welcome to the team, bih! We winning...at losing in life! Quote: You're too inspired You're too fucking decent You know I had to sprinkle some bold ass lies on top of this joint. It's not Niña if there ain't at least 5 alternative facts present. Quote: You know well positivity doesn't make peace, give me the real reason You'll argue over the smallest detail to your deathbed But when your heart is on the line, you're silent Treading lightly For the sake of everyone else Muffling your cries Because you can't handle admitting you live in hell There's a huge difference between debating and arguing. I like to debate but the minute I feel it getting heated, I quickly pull away from the conversation. Arguments are full of so much emotion and passion and they freak me out. I'm not gonna argue with people I care about, especially if I'm holding in a lot of emotions. I have the tendency to hurt feelings and I don't wanna hurt the people I fuck with. After while it makes you question yourself though. Am I really just trying to stop myself from hurting people or am I too much of a pussy to say how I really feel? Quote: If you weren't already dead inside Consideration would kill ya Honestly, people are lucky that I'm mostly numb to the pain they cause me. I don't take it to heart, I take it piece by piece and let it build up slowly. I find it extremely hard to forgive people but I rarely act on my grudges. That's the only thing that's keeping the peace in me, or better wording wild probably be it's the only reason why I'm not swinging on hoes at the moment. Inside, its a shitshow. Quote: Imagine if you could be as selfish If only you cared for yourself this much I wonder who tricked you into believing you don't deserve love Why give it away to those who'll never care enough? Will you ever be enough? No Y'all I really do feel like I'm underrated! People really out here leaving me like they never cared that I was in their life in the first place! How can I make an impact everywhere but on a person's heart? Edited by user 23 December 2020 12:20:06(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#8 Posted : 09 July 2017 14:00:09(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		7. In My Feelings Length: 4:17 Genre: Hip Hop Soul Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino, Drew Westbrook Produced by: DrewWB Rum Today I don't really feel like rapping But I'm not really too good at singing At least I'm finally writing with meaning Coming from my heart and I actually mean it Damn right, I'm at a Denny's, and I'm in my feelings Problem? It's not like it matters But I've always been focused on what matters Soon as I get done, I sit down, smoke one and fade into the chatter And I know it's good good when I just don't hear it I'm tryna get the point, I'm tryna figure out what's got me so down But I'm so used to life eating me up and spitting me back out It's not even like I don't care now I just don't feel it I'm going numb, prone to dumb shit, still got a boo at home And a best friend, and a cousin, and a whole family to call my own Some people pray to stop their feelings But I need to feel it (feelings) I don't wanna feel it (feelings) Prefer not to deal with it (feelings) But it's not just about me anymore Is this what they mean when they say love slows you down? I got around to get around all the strings Still got attached somehow and now they only see love Instead of the monster in me I'm yelling, "Hide your kids, hide your wives Get out, run as fast as you can The real me's been in hiding but she's coming back to town Forget me before I remember who I am" (Feelings) (Feelings) (Feelings) (Feelings) They hit me with the, "ugh Nina you're so fucking dramatic Been so damn moody lately, if you need space, you can have it" Almost caused a havoc But I stopped myself I'm fucked up in 'bout a hundred ways, the last 10 is y'all fault I tried and tried, cussed and cried, it's so hard giving the world your all And that wasn't even my all, that was barely 10% Child, don't even get me started I'm really truly proud of myself, that's what makes me so sad Done spent all these years keeping me, now it's all 'bout to go bad But if it means I can take off this mask Cool I really hate living this way, I really hate needing to live this way But I love this life so much I miss my last and it feels like I'm betraying everyone's trust Doing what I want, acting like I'm putting up a fuss Most pray to get this life thing over with Is this what they mean when they say love slows you down? I got around to get around all the strings Still got attached somehow and now they only see love Instead of the monster in me I'm yelling, "Hide your kids, hide your wives Get out, run as fast as you can The real me's been in hiding but she's coming back to town Forget me before I remember who I am" I need to feel it (feelings) I don't wanna feel it (feelings) Prefer not to deal with it (feelings) But it's not just about me anymore (feelings) It's best if I feel it (feelings) Gon' kinda miss the feeling (feelings) I'm all in my feelings (feelings) And it's not just about me anymore (feelings) Quote: Today I don't really feel like rapping But I'm not really too good at singing I've never gotten vocally trained or anything, my singing comes straight from the soul. Now add the fact that I smoke 3 blunts a day and you're damn right, I'm not a good vocalist. That doesn't matter to me though, I can hold a note and carry out a melody. I'm a rapper first but people like my singing, so I do it from time to time. Quote: At least I'm finally writing with meaning Coming from my heart and I actually mean it When I write something, it comes from me but it's usually not necessarily about me. Everything I say in a song is something I want to say but there are those songs where I'm really personal and there's others where I'm just writing what people expect me to say. A big part of good songwriting stems from tending to a caricature. A lot of the songs I've made are vague sex bops and dark tracks about this sick sad world, and etc. This was one of those times where I just wanted to write about something that came directly from Niña instead of Rum. Quote: Damn right, I'm at a Denny's, and I'm in my feelings Problem? I wrote this while I was at a Denny's and mad as fuck at the world. Quote: It's not like it matters But I've always been focused on what matters Soon as I get done, I sit down, smoke one and fade into the chatter And I know it's good good when I just don't hear it There's nothing more relaxing than rolling a blunt and blazing. Just sinking into the smoke and forgetting about all your problems. It's so therapeutic. It's nothing crazy but it IS the perfect dosage of 'fuck it' that I need in my life. I don't really do other stuff no mo. I don't really have to. Quote: I'm tryna get the point, I'm tryna figure out what's got me so down But I'm so used to life eating me up and spitting me back out It's not even like I don't care now I just don't feel it My life has been trash for 2 decades and some change. It doesn't surprise when shit hits the fan. But nowadays I got the whole world looking at me and I can't be as careless. I got shit to lose! Quote: I'm going numb, prone to dumb shit, still got a boo at home And a best friend, and a cousin, and a whole family to call my own Some people pray to stop their feelings From an early age, I've always cared so much more about how the people around me felt rather than how I felt. It wasnt like back then I knew I was going to be a lost cause, that's just the first thing I taught myself to do, I dont know why. Everybody I cared about was just so unhappy and I wanted to make them happy so bad. I thought making them feel better would make me feel better but the whole time I was just neglecting myself. I guess that's why I'm so aggressive about putting myself first no matter what. I HATE that I put my friends and family before me but I just gotta make sure they're good at all times...can't if I'm out here wilin'. Quote: (Feelings) (Feelings) (Feelings) (Feelings) Ah, yes. Mankind's most useless and arguably, worst, invention. Quote: They hit me with the, "ugh Nina you're so fucking dramatic Been so damn moody lately, if you need space, you can have it" Almost caused a havoc But I stopped myself Do I look like a damn Aries to y'all? I don't make up problems out of nowhere and feel emotions just to feel them! If I'm mad or sad, you better know it's for a DAMN GOOD reason. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve a lot but in those few times that I do? Don't discredit my emotions. You'll get your whole ass neck snapped playing with me like that. Quote: I'm fucked up in 'bout a hundred ways, the last 10 is y'all fault I tried and tried, cussed and cried, it's so hard giving the world your all And that wasn't even my all, that was barely 10% Child, don't even get me started TURN THAT SHIT UP, FAM! I could've been a good person by now but y'all had me fucked up these last 5 years! Quote: I'm really truly proud of myself, that's what makes me so sad Done spent all these years keeping me, now it's all 'bout to go bad But if it means I can take off this mask Cool It's kind of bittersweet. Like I'm 100% giving up on trying to be a good person but at the same time, I'm giving the real me another chance. Quote: I really hate living this way, I really hate needing to live this way But I love this life so much I miss my last and feel like I'm betraying everyone's trust Doing what I want, acting like I'm putting up a fuss Most pray to get this life thing over with I think when I tried to change myself, I went about it all wrong. The whole time I just lied a lot and hid my true feelings..it was so unprogressive. People around me probably thought it was for the better but I felt so empty. Real change is supposed to make you feel whole. Quote: Is this what they mean when they say love slows you down? I got around to get around all the strings Still got attached somehow and now they only see love Instead of the monster in me All of my greatest bonds start off as loose strings. It's kind of annoying. The whole point is so I don't get tripped up over one person and lose focus or worse, hurt them. I always end up doing that anyway. Quote: I'm yelling, "Hide your kids, hide your wives Get out, run as fast as you can The real me's been in hiding but she's coming back to town Forget me before I remember who I am" Can we just talk about this run?? Ughhh, I really did that. I'm such a cute singer when I wanna be! Quote: I need to feel it (feelings) I don't wanna feel it (feelings) Prefer not to deal with it (feelings) But it's not just about me anymore (feelings) It's best if I feel it (feelings) Gon' kinda miss the feeling (feelings) I'm all in my feelings (feelings) And it's not just about me anymore (feelings) This is a reoccurring theme throughout the album. I have a family to feed, a career to keep, fans to make proud. I can't just be out here cutting a fool anymore. I spent all these years complaining about how no one had faith in me and bitch, now somebody does. Edited by user 23 February 2021 17:26:01(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#9 Posted : 10 July 2017 12:08:43(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		8. I Lit The World Up Length: 2:02 Genre: Gospel Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: FancyN, DrewWB Rum I lit the world up ‘Cause I could Some say you shouldn’t run Sometimes you should It’ll take your mind off things Made a mess where I won’t be long Where they don’t know your face, you can’t go wrong So maybe I lit the world up ‘Cause I lost grip Don’t take it too serious They’ll forget The flames will burn out Ash mistaken for dust Almost made a memory here But here, I never was Quote: I lit the world up ‘Cause I could Unlike everything else on the album, this track isn't actually based off of one scenario...it doesnt really have a messy ass story behind it or anything like that. It holds more than one meaning to me and people who listen to it will be able to interpret and relate to it in more ways than one. I'll go with the meaning that's easier to explain: infamy. When I say, "I lit the world up because I could", what I mean is I made a lot of people mad, I'm famous for the wrong reasons and I don't care. I piss people off for fun and it ironically provides me with more opportunities to further my success. Quote: Some say you shouldn’t run Sometimes you should It’ll take your mind off things When we started this whole Rum & Coke thing, Coke was the one that had all of the drive and ambition. She wanted to be successful, this was her dream. She had all these resources and opportunities, there was no way she was gonna let herself fail. On the contrary, I was a girl who grew up with no dreams, petty ambitions and sans any real resources. When she gave me the opportunity to be apart of all this, I was just happy to be there. I lived a horrible life and wanted an out, fame gave me one. Music kept me busy, it was my favorite distraction. Quote: Made a mess where I won’t be long Where they don’t know your face, you can’t go wrong I'm more infamous than I actually am famous. That doesn't hurt my feelings, long as my music does well, I really don't care. I can act the way I want and whatever people say won't get to me. None of y'all know me, there's not much y'all could say. I get mad when people count me out and try to discredit my work but as far as the random hate? Girl stop. You can't troll a troll. Quote: So maybe I lit the world up ‘Cause I lost grip I love saying I'm this big because I made it happen but that's such a lie. Even when we signed to a major label, I NEVER thought we'd get this famous. I didn't even want to be this successful, this shit it is just one more responsibility I don't know how to handle. I can't really do or say anything stupid no more, too many people are freak out and twist my words. It's just...ugh! Quote: Don’t take it too serious They’ll forget The flames will burn out Ash mistaken for dust Almost made a memory here But here, I never was Honestly, I try not to stress myself out over this shit anymore. Make money, save money: that's my only goal. So many people waste their time trying to make fame last. It's not gonna happen, sis. One day we're all gonna be forgotten, despite how hard we worked to be remembered. Lighten the fuck up, have some fun, suck a dick on camera. Get the people talking, that's all they want!
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kandii		#10 Posted : 10 July 2017 12:42:35(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		9. Drew Lazy As FUCK! Length: 3:21 Genre: Hip Hop Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino, Drew Westbrook Produced by: DrewWB Rum Drew Westbrook Lazy is making this song to ignore all my exes Lazy is telling myself, "love it or hate it, you'll put up with my antics" Lazy is having the thoughts but never accepting the challenge Lazy is having the rope but pretending to use it for balance If I wanted sympathy, I'd just sing me a ballad The way I live is tried and true, any other way has got to be invalid Singing is what I do when I run out of syllables Where I should be pouring my heart out, I just stretch vocals Like la-dee da-dee la-dee-da-dee-dee Pretending I'm okay is as easy as do-re-mi Get up the next, trade a shower for some DR.UM sweats Watch Power from 9 to 6, spend the rest in my head How do I sleep at night? I don't and that's how I need it I'm up making my millions while y'all wasting time dreaming Am I available? Depends on who's asking Can't stand the niggas I used to know, hate the niggas in my tax bracket Being a mess is my true passion, acting like a fool is what I do You need an explanation? There's a line for that, boo I got a heart full of apologies, should've gave it to you When I see a real one, I don't know if I should wave or salute I got it made like China, still Broken like Chaelin Play The Game like Johnny, win the crown 'fore the day ends Just to ask, "was it worth it?" Goddamn, I should've stayed in Tried to be productive but got caught in the RAIN like Yasmine The gag is, I'm an up and coming has been (Oop!) But at least my flow RAW like Monday nights on CW We're Ed and Eddy, in need of a Double D To talk us out of dumb shit and keep us stable like some cleats Going Vegan tomorrow, if it ain't green then what the FUCK! Call me what you wanna, I'ma get my whatchamacallit. Cash? Coin? Bucks? Hot boy, clutch! Run boy, hut! I'm a Suspicious Bitch and I'm living la vida LUXX! Lazy is getting mad that I'm slept on because today I actually tried I consider myself to be humble, just don't try to discredit mines Keep my distance so I don't burn any real ties You didn't know I was joking cause that's the punchline I only came to do my thang and take a bow Surprisingly one of the few to figure this shit out I bet if I wasn't such a clown I'd be so much more famous now Instead I'm stuck trying to prove myself with birds like Drew Except I ain't no bird, except nobody asked you! I said what I said, act like it wasn't for a reaction Interaction is a past time, keeps me from thinking on my past life Make an inch last a year's worth of light Take a left, swerve pass right When pigs finally start to fly, maybe they'll deliver some act right to doorstep Was just me and Rum but all this reflection done turned it into a quartet No one that I've fucked over can say they were misled (Can't relate!) It's like when I'm tryna get someone back is the only time I can concentrate Lazy is knowing the right word is converse but choosing to say conversate Go out my way to make two wrongs Suddenly too tired to write my wrongs Where did all that energy go? Probably towards lying to myself.
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kandii		#11 Posted : 03 August 2017 01:17:33(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		10. Loose Change Length: 9:53 Genre: Alt-R&B, Electronic Hip Hop Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: FancyN, inZane, DrewWB Rum Try, try, try, try I attempt it just for you Try, try, try, try Even when I'm tempted to lose Try, try, try, try You deserve a better view Try, try, try, try But all I ever give you is loose change, I need to change The only person who's never given up on me Wanna be the person you wanted me to be It was a good day Celebrated with cuba libre But none for you None for—none for you A glass to make him feel fancy 2 rocks though he prefers straight All that just to wish he had a bottle of rum Did you cherish my youth, knowing I wouldn't be young for long? Trauma, his blood, my first song Who knows where I went wrong Hurt you by hurting me, all you ever offered was help I'll never forgive myself Try, try, try, try I attempt it just for you Try, try, try, try Even when I'm tempted to lose Try, try, try, try You deserve a better view Try, try, try, try But all I ever give you is loose change, I need to change It was a good phase I wasn't in denial just yet, but you were Pink knockers and flowy skirts You put it out into the universe Just to have it all thrown up in your face My quick paced spring days Quickly overshadowed by my cold wintered mind Nothing was ever the same It all got worse over time Try, try, try, try I attempt it just for you Try, try, try, try Even when I'm tempted to lose Try, try, try, try You deserve a better view Try, try, try, try But all I ever give you is loose change, I need to change [Hella long instrumental break, weird but groovy as fuck] Knew I'd be a problem before even getting to see my face 24 years in and mamá, I'm still the same You weren't afraid, I'd be a girl and we'd let the men be men Too bad I turned out just like them You werent afraid, you should've been Didn't mean to fall for the wicked, wonder what you stayed for Change is what you came for Loose change is all you're gonna get Hope you weren't hoping for more What needs to change are your expectations I changed and picked myself up off the floor Hit rock bottom when they get out of pocket Some change lives on forevermore But most of it we just end up dropping Change is what you came for Loose change is all I can afford Try a little tenderness Far from sensitive but I'm already on my last wish Been hoping a nigga would like the top of my wishlist The mere Audacity got your girl on Protools speechless I tried forgiveness But it always finds itself in my writing, I'm left to push it right back down I need permission for when to think Mind's asking, "is it clear now?", been on standby for years now Sit back and watch y'all act out, wondering if it's my turn now You dreamed I'd turn my life around Loose change is all you're gonna get Hope you weren't hoping for more What needs to change are your expectations I changed and picked myself up off the floor Hit rock bottom when they get out of pocket Some change lives on forevermore But most of it we just end up dropping Change is what you came for I can't afford to change, I've gotten so good at faking sane Live out my days behind the mask, pretend that under it we're all the same I can't afford to lose someone else and let them walk out of my life Just because I got a little dramatic and started thinking twice Tried but it's just so hard, I don't have patience for myself I'm harsh, got all these standards but don't hold any when it comes to everyone else I'm doing them a favor, can't you see? I'm doing them a favor, what about me? Loose change is all you're gonna get Hope you weren't hoping for more What needs to change are your expectations I changed and picked myself up off the floor Hit rock bottom when they get out of pocket Some change lives on forevermore But most of it we just end up dropping Change is what you came for Loose change is all I can afford Quote: It was a good day Celebrated with cuba libre But none for you None for—none for you A glass to make him feel fancy 2 rocks though he prefers straight All that just to wish he had a bottle of rum As a whole, this song is written to my mama. It's like a cute 2 in 1, the first half of the song is a reflection of my childhood and how looking back, I badly wish I was the daughter she had always wanted. The second half of the song debunks that fantasy completely, kinda snaps me and her back into the reality of my ways. This song is my life, to be honest. This is my theme song. I wrote these particular lines about the day I was born. My mom was excited, my dad was drunk and I was a problem. Quote: Did you cherish my youth, knowing I wouldn't be young for long? Trauma, his blood, my first song Who knows where I went wrong In the family I was born into, you simply don't get to have a childhood. From an early age, you see a lot, you hear a lot, you experience...a lot. There's just no room to be naive and imaginative and dumb and I don't know, whatever the fuck kids do. There wasnt none of that. You can blame it on my environment, the music I listened to, even just the fact that I'm my father's daughter, but who really knows? Quote: Hurt you by hurting me, all you ever offered was help I'll never forgive myself When you're young, you never truly realize it but your parents just want the best for you. Looking back, I can see that now. I did my mamá so dirty all those times I fucked myself over. Quote: It was a good phase I wasn't in denial just yet, but you were Mamá really believed I would turn out a decent child, she just knew I'd be the one to do something big and bring abundance to my family. It was just a feeling she had in her heart. And I mean...more or less. Quote: Pink knockers and flowy skirts You put it out into the universe Just to have it all thrown up in your face I was so rude! Mamá had to deal with all these snotty nose lil boys and was so excited to finally have a girl who'd grow up in her image. All that hope, just for me to turn out to be a stud. The chanhe in our family photos is so drastic. Didnt really start wearing feminine clothes until Coke put me on. Quote: My quick paced spring days Quickly overshadowed by my cold wintered mind Nothing was ever the same It all got worse over time I was very susceptible to my environment but at the same time, I questioned everything. Once I get an idea in my head and i really think about it, it's impossible to talk me out of it. I've always been like that, I just get more hardheaded by the year. Quote: Try, try, try, try I attempt it just for you Try, try, try, try Even when I'm tempted to lose Try, try, try, try You deserve a better view Try, try, try, try But all I ever give you is loose change, I need to change My thing is, if I can't change for myself then I should at least take the people who care about me into consideration and change for them. Specifically, Mamá. I felt so selfish for putting her through hell, so I got this idea in my head that I'm obligated to be selfless for a change and become the daughter she deserved. Quote: Knew I'd be a problem before even getting to see my face 24 years in and mamá, I'm still the same You weren't afraid, I'd be a girl and we'd let the men be men Too bad I turned out just like them You werent afraid, you should've been While the first few minutes were about me being a demon child, the lyrics are pretty hopeful, despite it all im trying again. The second half of this song is much more pessimistic. I tried and I failed, this part of the track is just full of me resenting that choice and being unapologetic about everything...everything but neglecting myself. I always neglect myself and that shit just isn't cool. This half of the track is where I finally start to put myself first. Quote: Didn't mean to fall for the wicked, wonder what you stayed for Change is what you came for Loose change is all you're gonna get Me and my familia joke about this a lot. My dad trapped Mamá. Why else would such a smart woman stay with his crazy ass? That really makes you think though, as a woman. More than likely she stayed cause she was stupid. So many out there put so much faith and hope into what a man could be that they tend to overlook who he actually is. This is where I start to point out that flaw in my mom. It's a useless cycle and it's gotta stop. We both know how this one ends. Quote: Try a little tenderness Far from sensitive but I'm already on my last wish Been hoping a nigga would like the top of my wishlist I'm not a sensitive person but we all have those moments where all it takes is that feather on top for us to blow our top. This was my moment. I had repressed everything and it was all coming back up. At this point in the song, I'm ready to a pass on hoes. Watch how you speak to me, think before you act. Quote: The mere Audacity got your girl on Protools speechless Auda-city and Pro tools are both music software programs that a lot of producers use. Kinda just wanted to throw in a little wordplay. Quote: I tried forgiveness But it always finds itself in my writing, I'm left to push it right back down If you haven't realized by now, nothing on this album has happened in the last 6 months. Lotta this shit hasn't even happened to me in the last year. Its not like everything's still pressing me, I just haven't let myself write about any of it until now. Quote: I need permission for when to think Mind's asking, "is it clear now?", been on standby for years now The key to repression is to just not think. Like, at all. Go smoke, party, fuck, whatever you gotta do to just not think. Quote: Sit back and watch y'all act out, wondering if it's my turn now You dreamed I'd turn my life around That's all I really do all day: dream of treating people the way they treat me. I like to think about if that makes me thebbad person in all of this, contemplating what that says about the people who claim to be good. Hm. Quote: I can't afford to change, I've gotten so good at faking sane Live out my days behind the mask, pretend that under it we're all the same I love lying to myself. One of my favorite lies has gotta be the one where I pretend everyone else is hiding their true selves and that deep down inside, we're all horrible people. That's not even slightly true, there are geniunely good people out there. I'm just not one of them. Quote: I can't afford to lose someone else and let them walk out of my life Just because I got a little dramatic and started thinking twice Y'all really gotta stop leaving me. Shit is starting to get out of hand. Quote: Tried but it's just so hard, I don't have patience for myself I'm harsh, got all these standards but don't hold any when it comes to everyone else I'm obsessed with trying to be the best version of me but when it comes to the peoole I love I always have this, "come as you are" mindset. If I was a nornal person, this would all be a good thing for me, I'd run with this attitude and live a positive life. But I'm not and I can't...eventually, I need to learn how to accept myself. Constantly forcing myself to change who I am is just not the way to do that. Quote: I'm doing them a favor, can't you see? I'm doing them a favor, what about me? I always want the people I love to be comfortable around me. My arms is like a safe space. Here, you can be you. The real you. And that's just so ironic coming from me. Quote: Hope you weren't hoping for more What needs to change are your expectations I'll be 25 in about 2 months. Y'all should know me well by now. Quote: I changed and picked myself up off the floor Hit rock bottom when they get out of pocket Some change lives on forevermore But most of it we just end up dropping Change is what you came for Loose change is all I can afford Peep all this wordplay! This is where I start comparing my lazy efforts at change to loose change...the coins. You find them by picking them up off the floor mostly and there's a ton of random ways you can lose change. Sometimes it falls out of your pockets, sometimes you just throw it out the window. There are even times where you miraculously hold onto different coins for a long period of time without even realizing that shit. Kinda used all of those instances to describe how subjective and arbitrary the change that a person goes through can be. Edited by user 23 February 2021 17:40:24(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#12 Posted : 23 February 2021 15:08:35(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		11. Coke Yells At Me Length: 2:00 Genre: R&B Soul Written by: Airemese "Coke" Smith Produced by: FancyN Coke You can keep all of your sorries You don't mean the shit you say Tried my best to dig us out You're too stuck on your old ways Now I'm stuck tryna pave my own lane From the cracks of the path I had to bribe you to take If you got me, I’m with you for this fight I just pray you find what you truly crave Let’s just make ends meet We’ve come too far for this ending If anything takes you out, it’s gon be me Hoes over bros, we know loyalty conquers everything So let’s make ends meet Won’t let nothing take us for weak If anything takes you out, it’s gon be me Hoes before bros, we know loyalty conquers everything It's still you and me Edited by user 23 February 2021 18:40:44(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#13 Posted : 23 February 2021 15:12:11(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		Album: Try Forgiveness Song: Try Forgiveness Track: 12 Artist: Rum Genre: Alternative Hip Hop Label: Tric-Jam, Studio60 Records Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: FancyÑ Length: 3:32 Try Forgiveness is the title track on Rum's debut album, Try Forgiveness. Written and produced all by herself, the title track is a three minute and thirty two seconds long Alternative Hip Hop song featuring a catchy flow rapped over bouncy acoustic guitars, tambourines and a hard-hitting beat. Revealing the album's theme in both the music and the artwork, Rum takes some slight religious undertones and puts her own greedy spin on on them. "With new money comes new rules", the rapper carols, refusing to forgive anyone but willingly putting her feelings aside as so not to jeopardize her cash flow. She compares herself to Catholic saints with plenty of satire and a lot of frustration with how forgiving she is to the people that hurt her the most. The perfect way to introduce such a bold album, the song shows many different sides to Rum, the dangerous side, the godless side, the side that's driven by money/success and the side that has a soft spot for the people who can find her blindspots. Only thing keeping me is my ability to reason Never said I wouldn't, just needed a good reason Different strokes for different folks, different plays for different games Personally, I like to keep my values vague, no black and white, just tints of gray They forgive and forget 'cause that's what's easier on the brain Have I ever come off as sane? Forgive and forget, that's what they all say, the go to phrase for all tryna live the right way But do I look like a saint? We don't let bygones be Wrong one on the right day Saint Paul with the swordplay Cut you off in a few ways Ain't been to church since '03 Saint Rumillani with the footwork Cold blooded with a hellish quirk I don't feel worse, I get worse Saint Patrick, bringing in all this green I guess I'll try forgiveness Before, all I had was my soul to lose With real money comes new rules I'm a big deal, get a clue When I start to relapse, I get reclusive Prone to dumb shit but I aint stupid Only thing keeping me here is my ability to love Act like I don't care but I care too much All the fighting I do for the people I don't need They never return the favor, won't have to long as I got me You never really cared, okay damn, I got the message Really should ask myself if it's loyalty or obsession Hits me like gravity, dies out faster than an incomplete combustion Always half-assed but without it, can't function (Conjuction junction what's your function?) As always, have at it, want you to be happy Don't be naive, I'll never be sappy (Periodically needy, ultimately too lazy) Sense sensitivity and I start getting snappy I don't ask for much, don't annoy me and you can have me (A little dramatic but nothing too crazy) It's clear I've been running on your mind lately Know you got someone but that chica ain't me Don't be naive, you weren't forgiven, I just never cared If you had just came back, I wouldn't have cared Just forget it We don't let bygones be Wrong one on the right day Saint Paul with the swordplay Cut you off in a few ways Ain't been to church since '03 Saint Rumillani with the footwork Cold blooded with a hellish quirk I don't feel worse, I get worse Saint Patrick, bringing in all this green I guess I'll try forgiveness Before, all I had was my soul to lose With real money comes new rules I'm a big deal, get a clue When I start to relapse, I get reclusive Prone to dumb shit but I aint stupid What's the point of forgiveness? I'll never unfeel the feeling I'll never live down my sins When I die and go to hell, I just pray my bitches can visit Some would kill for money, I'd keep you alive just to keep it What comes first is my family eating That's my weakness We don't let bygones be Wrong one on the right day Saint Paul with the swordplay Cut you off in a few ways Ain't been to church since '03 Saint Rumillani with the footwork Cold blooded with a hellish quirk I don't feel worse, I get worse Saint Patrick, bringing in all this green I guess I'll try forgiveness Before, all I had was my soul to lose With real money comes new rules I'm a big deal, get a clue When I start to relapse, I get reclusive Prone to dumb shit but I aint stupid Would you try for a five? Would you change for some change? Let it be for the green? Keep it cute for a blue strip? Prone to dumb shit But I ain't stupid Me and the money Perfect match, Cupid Would you try for a five? Would you change for some change? Let it be for the green? Keep it cute for a blue strip? Prone to dumb shit But I ain't stupid Me and the money Perfect match, Cupid Edited by user 23 February 2021 15:13:46(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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kandii		#14 Posted : 23 February 2021 15:13:28(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		13. Dont Waste My Time Length: 3:32 Genre: Hip Hop, R&B Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: DrewWB Rum (When I say I try...) (I try, I try and I try) (Why?) Don't know how to forgive, I'm passive I let you act up, blow it past us Not a big deal, it's fucking massive Just when you start to forget, I hand you reading glasses Just in case you weren't clear on what you did Just in case you can't see all the damage Look at this shit I know temporary I know the ways of the weak and the wary I know you probably find that shit I spew compelling I'm helpless Worse than the ones you've already dealt with No trust and it's telling I'm a non-believer Never ran to Mary, knew I'd always leave her I'm not fond of the shit I'm prone to do either But if running keeps my Visa, I'm gon' speed up "I made it" is not enough, gotta be the first one to be there They always fall Because I make it so easy When you give a little less and gain the world, it's always pleasing They treat me like a god for a reason When I forsake them they don't come 'round for 'bout seasons Form lines when they see me living right You can use me but don't waste my fucking time You can u-u-u-u-use me as you please You doing you is always fine cause I got me But when you use those silly lines you're just holding up the line Even I can tell you're lying, don't waste my time Don't waste my time Don't waste my time (When I say I try...) (I try, I try and I try) (Why?) Don't know how to forgive, I'm passive I let you act up, blow it past us Not a big deal, it's fucking massive Just when you start to forget, I hand you reading glasses Just in case you weren't clear on what you did Just in case you can't see all the damage Look at this shit They treat me like a god for a reason When I forsake them they don't come 'round for 'bout seasons Form lines when they see me living right You can use me but don't waste my fucking time You can u-u-u-u-use me as you please You doing you is always fine cause I got me But when you use those silly lines you're just holding up the line Even I can tell you're lying, don't waste my time Don't waste my time Don't waste my time Quote: I know temporary I know the ways of the weak and the wary I love the production of this beat so naturally, I had to go off. This song is about basically all the dummies who think they have to lie about loving me to get something from me. Here, I'm bringing the song in. I know temporary because I'm well aware people don't stay around forever. I also know the ways of the weak and the wary. Notice, I didn't say "weary" here, which is apart of the original phrase. Wary is important here because here, I'm speaking on Hollywood, everyone's on guard. Quote: I know you probably find that shit I spew compelling I'm helpless Worse than the ones you've already dealt with No trust and it's telling Which brings me to my next point: Nobody trusts me and I don't trust nobody. For good reason on all sides. Quote: I'm a non-believer Never ran to Mary, knew I'd always leave her As the album winds down, I wanted to bring it all in and make references back to the album's religious theme. Im a non-believer because I don't believe what people have to say but also in the same way, not being able to have faith in people hinders me from having faith in higher powers too. It holds me back because since being very young, I've wanted something to believe in but I just try to play it off like nothing matters to me. Yet it runs on my mind and seeps through my lyrics so much because it does. Quote: I'm not fond of the shit I'm prone to do either But if running keeps my Visa, I'm gon' speed up "I made it" is not enough, gotta be the first one to be there Being someone who doesn't believe in sin doesn't mean it makes it easier for you to commit it. We all have a moral compass whether or not we have a religious text constantly reminding us of it. But shiit, sometimes it's the only way we know how to live and until the day we die, most of us are gonna keep livin. Quote: They always fall Because I make it so easy When you give a little less and gain the world, it's always pleasing If you're ever putting you best foot forward to love a person and it's hard for them to accept it, it's because they know you don't know the full truth. That's where my mind be at. How could you love me if this whole time I've been sparing you from the real me? The lesson here is, if you want to be loved you have to be honest not just with your lover but with yourself. If it scares you to tell someone about who you are and what you've done and how you live, that's probably not your person. It took me years to really learn that. Quote: (When I say I try...) (I try, I try and I try) (Why?) Yall! I be TRYING!!! Quote: Don't know how to forgive, I'm passive I let you act up, blow it past us Not a big deal, it's fucking massive Just when you start to forget, I hand you reading glasses Just in case you weren't clear on what you did Just in case you can't see all the damage Look at this shit I think what it is.. is that I'm probably manipulative and not sure how to really deal with problems head on. I make it seem like everything's okay until I can get you back. I don't like when things happen to me and I can do nothing about it. I prefer to pretend like nothing has happened until I get my chance to retaliate. Then and only then can we really talk about it. Sometimes, no matter how hard I plot I can never get myself to actually retaliate in some situations and after waiting so long to, I just throw my hands up and come to terms with how things have played out. It's okay to not be in control of what people do to you and I'm trying to learn how to be okay with that. It's just hard for a real bitch like me. Quote: They treat me like a god for a reason When I forsake them they don't come 'round for 'bout seasons Form lines when they see me living right Fame is by far the weirdest way to experience life. It can be very lonely not because there's no one around but because there are too many people around who don't want anything to do with the real you. They're always there when you're in your prime but on the days where you're feeling your lowest and need the most support, there's no one to turn to. It's like when it's christmas day and the church is packed to the balcony but on a regular schmegular Wednesday night bible study it's only 15 people in the building. I know cus grandma Nita use to make us go. Now, if EYE was god, I wouldn't do shit for y'all either. Quote: You can use me but don't waste my fucking time You can u-u-u-u-use me as you please You doing you is always fine cause I got me But when you use those silly lines you're just holding up the line Even I can tell you're lying, don't waste my time Don't waste my time Don't waste my time Everything is an energy exchange, it's all about give and take. I get bored and use people for excitement just as much as they use me. Ain't nothing wrong with that until you think you're fucking slick. Never try to confuse me, I'm grown and like I said earlier, I know temporary when I see it. People do too much trying to lie and convince the other that things are more than they appear. I will always prefer someone who's direct and can state what they really want without feeling the need to add all this extra fluff and ass-kissing. Do our intentions align or not? People invest so much time into trying to trick others into doing what they want without understanding that there are people who wouldn't even mind to participate. You don't have to lie to people to achieve anything unless you're just a damn snake. So yeah, don't waste my time. Be clear about what you want and you just might get it.
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4 users thanked kandii for this useful post.		2001clay on 23/02/2021(UTC), RoseJapanFan on 24/02/2021(UTC), BrownSugar on 24/02/2021(UTC), C4AJoh on 20/03/2021(UTC)
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kandii		#15 Posted : 23 February 2021 17:00:13(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 18/03/2013(UTC) Posts: 7,279 Thanks: 16409 times Was thanked: 10467 time(s) in 3435 post(s)		14. Duality Reality Length: 3:32 Genre: Alternative Hip Hop, Ambient R&B Written by: Niña Rumillani Tarantino Produced by: FancyN, inZane Rum Look me in the face and say it Your eyes ain't even true blue Claimed you've made your mind, I'm gone need proof Let me check your pulse again I don't even care if our heart happens to be in sync I wanna buy it but my dollar pink You swore it on the bible but what about a whole stack? See a kettle and I think black I got shit to lose here This could just be a phase for you Shit like that could take my whole youth It'll have me creeping round at 42 You'll be happy you never had to choose Settled down in Malibu Married to a real dude He’s still not enough I live the best of both lives It's all about compromise I know what makes me happy, you're undecided You gone crave a hybrid, never gonna find it We could paint the town a whole rainbow I'd still have to take you home though There's comfort in what you already know Love's short when your money's long For now, you're the one I want Wish the feeling was mutual I just wish this shit was mutual Doo-doo-doo-dual Muffling your moans in my pillow Here can't nobody here you This the life you plan to live though To be or not You can't just ignore the real questions Both is not an answer Both’s gon leave you backed up into a corner Constantly questioned, double the lessons Both gone drain you, leave you with two expressions Both can't even make you cum, that's all me Both won't even question your dichotomy Both might not even make you happy but I hope to Claiming I'm the one but you need two, don't lie Both can't give you kids or the married life Girl, both don't even wanna try But I could buy you houses way out in Dubai We could rise before the sunrise Way after it sets Watching night and day blend Knowing no matter how beautiful One side’s gotta win (You want your cake) (You want me and you want your cake) (You need me but you want your cake) (I make myself available) (But I can’t stay) (You want your cake) (You need me but you want your cake) (I make myself too available) [guitar riffs fall into a euphoric beat switch] He make me feel like I’m Donna I Love To Love that nigga cus he speed my heart up Ain’t see it coming, happened in a way not thought of Now I’m running ‘cus I love making it harder He the one that fuck me righter Ever since we pulled each other out the dark, the day’s been brighter Hold me down by the hips cus I’m a fighter I push away and he push deep, toes lighter He’s MacGyver, he can make anything happen Awww, he could prolly make me happy Now a bad btich really need a fix When I come through you better not make it quick I want the demos, album cuts and the hits Whatever you got for sale, I want a pick If it was up to you, you wouldn’t be here Leave it up to me, I’ll make life fair Block out all the noise and make it real clear: You’re what I want Who’d a thunk this could be our reality, reality Switching back and forth through my duality I think I fully, love the way you free me of all gravity Got everybody thinking it’s insanity, that’s just they vanity My turn to be happy, have me totally Brutally, immorally, abnormally You see through me like low opacity May not know love but you still got the capacity I give you all of me...all of me...the real me…that's all of me Quote: Look me in the face and say it Your eyes ain't even true blue Claimed you've made your mind, I'm gone need proof The last song on the album is Duality Reality. I think it beautifully wraps up the story I'm trying to tell on this album. I'm speaking on my duality as a bisexual woman and the struggles I've had in love because of it. In the first half of the song, a woman who's on the bisexual spectrum but is a little more on the straight side is tring to convince me that she loves me. As usual, I don't buy it. I think it's something we all run into in the community: gay women having a hard time loving women who clearly prefer men. Quote: Let me check your pulse again I don't even care if our heart happens to be in sync I wanna buy it but my dollar pink The pink dollar is basically the buying power of the LGBT community. I'm making it real clear to this girl that I'm gay and I don't buy it! Quote: You swore it on the bible but what about a whole stack? See a kettle and I think black I got shit to lose here This could just be a phase for you Shit like that could take my whole youth It'll have me creeping round at 42 You'll be happy you never had to choose Settled down in Malibu Married to a real dude He’s still not enough Yes, this is about a real life person but I'm not going to namedrop her. I was considering making this a single but at the same time, ehhh. I'm questioning someone's sexuality on this song and I don't want the wrong people to get the wrong idea. Bisexuality is very valid, I'm bisexual. What I'm speaking on here is someone who is bisexual but only has plans to lead a heteronormative life. She says her heart lies with me but she's never going to give up her dream of having that picture perfect nuclear family and that puts me in a terrible position. Quote: I live the best of both lives It's all about compromise I know what makes me happy, you're undecided You gone crave a hybrid, never gonna find it You can't want the best of both worlds while reaping the benefits of monogamy. Telling the world, "this is the person I love" and then creeping in the shadows and trying to convince me you love me as much as you love him. It just don't work like that and I ain't never been a stranger to late night creeping but I can't participate when I really do love a person and don't want to disrespect myself. I mean, I can hehe, but not for long. Quote: We could paint the town a whole rainbow I'd still have to take you home though There's comfort in what you already know Love's short when your money's long For now, you're the one I want Wish the feeling was mutual I just wish the feeling was mutual Sometimes, we just want what we can't have. In that situation, I think it played a big part in how I felt. Getting to have someone but not fully, that's how I've experienced love all these years and it's kind of sad how used to it I am. Quote: Doo-doo-doo-dual Muffling your moans in my pillow Here can't nobody here you This the life you plan to live though I love being with women. They're so... beautiful. The bodies, the sounds, the taste. It's like every woman is their own sexual goddess and I be honored to explore their powers. This woman I'm with though is living between two realities and even in our most intimate moments, she's concealing her love for me. Quote: To be or not You can't just ignore the real questions Both is not an answer Both’s gon leave you backed up into a corner Constantly questioned, double the lessons Both gone drain you, leave you with two expressions I wrote this song because obviously, her and I will never be together but I try to express that it's important that she figures herself out. You can't have me and him or the next woman because you'll just be wasting your time and all of ours. Dabbling in polygamy without honesty and boundaries will leave you hurt ultimately when you realize you can never have the two people you love so much in that way. It will drive both of those people away and you will end up alone. Quote: Both can't even make you cum, that's all me Period. Quote: Both won't even question your dichotomy A lot of these niggas don't know they girl really want Rum, teehee. They don't be paying attention, they think they just got the game on lock. It's a lot of men sitting next to gay women and to me, it's just like.. how you don't know your own girl a lil' fruity? I bet you I'd know it if my man was a lil' fruity. You know why? I'm attentive! Quote: Both might not even make you happy but I hope to Claiming I'm the one but you need two, don't lie Both can't give you kids or the married life Girl, both don't even wanna try But I could buy you houses way out in Dubai We could rise before the sunrise Way after it sets Watching night and day blend Knowing no matter how beautiful One side’s gotta win I'm not a man so I can't give the girls the "perfect" family with kids and all that. I'm not interested in adoption either. So I understand why a woman would choose to go the easier route and just find a man to live happily ever after with. However, girl I'm fun, I'm pretty and I'm rich, there's a lot that I can offer to another woman and I did show that particular woman that I could. At the end of the day, no matter how much fun we can have together, one side has to come out on top and I got the short end of the stick when it was all said and done. Quote: (You want your cake) (You want me and you want your cake) (You need me but you want your cake) (I make myself available) (But I can’t stay) (You want your cake) (You need me but you want your cake) (I make myself too available) We all deserve real love! No matter how horny we get, repeat after me girls: I WILL NOT BE SOMEBODY'S SECOND CHOICE. I'M THE TOP PICK. IM A FIVE STAR BITCH! Quote: He make me feel like I’m Donna I Love To Love that nigga cus he speed my heart up The second half of the song is like a brand new song. Here, we explore my duality. I was in love with a woman on the first half but now, the shoe is on the other foot. I wrote these lyrics about Tyron. I love that man, I do. In these lyrics, I'm referencing the song "I Love To Love You" because that song is so sexy. I say he makes me feel like Donna Summers because to me, she's like the epitome of feminity and embracing my feminity is something that I'm really not used to. Being with a man like that though, he makes me feel more feminine that I ever have. Quote: Ain’t see it coming, happened in a way not thought of Now I’m running ‘cus I love making it harder He the one that fuck me righter Ever since we pulled each other out the dark, the day’s been brighter Tyron and I have a strange history, we used to hate each other but now, we really can't live without each other. I'm glad that we took the wild turn that we did because we're perfect for each other in every way. I mean it. Quote: Hold me down by the hips cus I’m a fighter I push away and he push deep, toes lighter He’s MacGyver, he can make anything happen Awww, he could prolly make me happy In the first half of the song, I brought up what it's like being with a woman and so as apart of my duality, I wanted to bring up what it's like to be with a man. Being with Tyron is a real thrill. We was fucking the shit out of each other, I'll tell you that. Always testing each other's limits. Quote: Now a bad btich really need a fix When I come through you better not make it quick I want the demos, album cuts and the hits Whatever you got for sale, I want a pick If it was up to you, you wouldn’t be here Leave it up to me, I’ll make life fair Block out all the noise and make it real clear: You’re what I want Despite my duality, I honestly feel like I'm 100% sold on this nigga. I don't need anything else. I could totally see us having a threesome and turning somebody daughter out together but I couldn't see myself going behind his back to be with another woman or anyone in that matter. People think that being bisexual means you can't be loyal because you're always going to want a girl and a boy. That's not true, I can be attracted to both sexes and still be sure about who I want. Quote: Who’d a thunk this could be our reality, reality Switching back and forth through my duality I think I fully, love the way you free me of all gravity Tyron is the first boyfriend I've ever had in my life. I've had sex with men before, of course, but to actually commit to a man and really be with him in an established relationship is a big deal for me and the people around me. Nobody saw that coming, not even me. Quote: Got everybody thinking it’s insanity, that’s just they vanity A looot of people do not want Tyron and I together because of our history. But you know what? FUCK EM! They ain't making me happy, why do they think I gotta make them happy? Quote: My turn to be happy, have me totally Brutally, immorally, abnormally You see through me like low opacity May not know love but you still got the capacity I want that man in every way and I want to give myself to him in every way. I just don't care about the extenuating circumstances any more, he's mine and I'm his. That's just how I feel and it took a lot of hell and highwater for me to come to that conclusion. Quote: I give you all of me...all of me... the real me…all of me After spending this whole album complaining about the real me and not allowing anyone to have the chance to know the real me, here I am on the last line of the album giving away myself completely. Finally, the real me has found a real home. Somewhere where I don't have to hide my face or conceal my past. Yes, I'm simping! He just gets me. Edited by user 24 February 2021 06:38:06(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
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4 users thanked kandii for this useful post.		2001clay on 23/02/2021(UTC), RoseJapanFan on 24/02/2021(UTC), BrownSugar on 24/02/2021(UTC), C4AJoh on 20/03/2021(UTC)
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C4AJoh		#16 Posted : 20 March 2021 21:11:36(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 18/05/2009(UTC) Posts: 13,281 Thanks: 4083 times Was thanked: 8533 time(s) in 2672 post(s)		Kara: Holy fuck! It took three and a half years for this to come to fruition but honestly, it could have taken ten years for this to come to fruition and it would have still been worth the damn wait. The experimental nature of this whole thing is just incredible and influential. I feel like this can and will change the landscape of the hip-hop genre even further and as an artist that dips into that genre but finds it difficult to define what I do, this means a lot in knowing that this can be done successfully. Musically it's so risky but pays off so well, the use of traditional instrumentation as apposed to the technological tricks that can be made in the studio is refreshing from this style of music these days and lyrically you just flaw me with every metaphor and phrase and the stories within the songs, in particular "In My Feelings" drags me down and floors me every time, it's a tough listen in the best way. I need to forget this record exists for a little while though, otherwise there ain't no way I'm releasing any of the shit I been cooking up for a while. 🙄 OOC: This is insane, it may have been split between two different time periods but it all flows as one, which is madness, definitely something I don't think I'd ever be able to do. But I must say, I've never understood how you write the lyrics that you do. They are so distinctive and unique, your mind must be a wild ride sometimes because I don't know how you can write in the ethereal way that you do. Maybe a little bit of madness and a lot of genius! Great work as always!!
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1 user thanked C4AJoh for this useful post.		kandii on 21/03/2021(UTC)
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