Welcome to the first edition of Hellhole Fest.
Tomorrow at noon, will be the start of what we hope is to become an annual tradition of River, Sun, Music and Good People.

The sounds of ice cube and Dr Dre's "natural born killaz" heralds Mariko taking the stage. She's dressed in her typical gauzy black lace skirt and black tank top. There'll be no bloody schoolgirl show this time. Mariko skips across the stage while swinging the microphone by it's cable until she reaches center stage. She curtseys as the applause fills the air before bringing the microphone to her lips ." I am Mariko." She announces simply before the band starts up. Sharp eyes or anyone paying attention would see that mariko's touring band is just the harlots, minus her sister.

The first song is a cover of the Rollins band song,"liar". Mariko does the song theatric justice as the quiet verse and loud chorus structure of the song works perfectly for mariko's style. The near spoken parts of the song are near angelic while the chorus becomes more and more unhinged peaking with Mariko doing a maniacal laugh that would make Dio Brando proud while screaming "sucker".

Mariko's live performances seem to come in two flavors: for the audience and for herself. This is the latter. For the most part she seems oblivious to the crowd's presence or even reactions.
Without pause or banter the next song begins. Nina sangria's guitar tone is heavy and detuned that the low e string flops so loosely that small stones vibrate loose from the walls. On paper,"
Untitled (the dog song) should be short as it's only contains a few lines about seeing a dog walking beside a busy street and wondering if the dog made it through the day. For hellhole fest, it's become an opus. The extended and droning samples of traffic and various animal bleats and howls make it truly unpleasant to hear.


With the recorded sounds of wildebeest getting attacked by crocodile fading Mariko starts her next song which is from same release as "untitled "(the dog song), "monotony " a song about seeing someone through a window everyday .for "monotony ", the band leaves the stage while piano is rolled out. The woman who sits at the piano Is not recognized by the audience due to being out of the public eye for years, but the seldom seen Ada von wannemaker . Mariko walks by and lets her fingers caress Ada's hair before hopping on the piano and letting her feet swing freely. For this song, it's played and sung as bright and cheery as Lesley gore's "sunshine and lollipops" leaving people confused given the cacophony that was the previous song. After the song ends, Mariko does her only bit of crowd work In the show. She finally addresses the audience and says flatly. " I broke the monotony. Get it?"

The next song has the harlots backing Mariko again.
Other than being named on the setlist,the final song is a mystery as Mariko sings it entirely in Japanese. But the title is pretty clear what it's about. If it wasn't clear,Mariko's vocals fill in any blanks . Her tone is one of anguish and despair as she takes the crowd along for the ride. During the performance, Mariko drops to her knees and remains there for the duration of the song. She deliver the final line in English ." It doesn't matter, i perished that very afternoon." Mariko lets the microphone fall from her hands, ending the show.

Setlist:
1. Liar (Rollins band cover)
2. Untiled (the dog song)
3. Monotony.
4. 27 club minus 13.









" Amy Meyer, Ladies and gentlemen. Amy Meyer. " Erich announces with applause as he and atomic war take the stage . "Either nepotism is alive and well or our manager strong armed someone. We barely headline our own shows. " Erich says while looking out over the sea of people in front of him. " And Jesus Christ, there's a lot of you guys out there. This should be a hoot. We got a lot of time to fill and I can't remember most of the songs we've written." He says, taking a long drink of his flask in an attempt to curb his rampant stage fright. The drink is one continuous drink until the flask is drained. Without missing a beat, he produces a second flask and drinks that one too . With squeal of feedback from his battle scarred hollow body guitar, Erich begins noodling what sounds like "goofing around" by bill Haley and his comets.

Behind Erich, drummer Cadillac rob leads troupe of a about a dozen various monkeys in Elvis Presley style rhinestone encrusted jumpsuits . Rob and his monkeys take their seat behind their individual drum sets sets. Within moments the well-oiled machine combining man and monkey stirs to life. In perfect sync, 13 drum sets are playset. Sounding not unlike a world war 2 spitfire airplane.

Finally,Amid the rolling snare and pounding Bass drums,atomic war bride bassist karoliena joins the rest of the band. Strutting across the stage, karoliena nabs erich's fourth flask mid drink and commandeers it. She picks up her upright bass from where it lays waiting on it's side. "We're atomic war bride out of Malta and welcome to hell." Karoliena says starting a typical psychobilly baseline. The moment the band starts a wall of flame erupts behind them, providing a cool,if extremely dangerous backdrop for hell's favorite band.

The band starts things off with a classic and beloved song,"clockwork Elvis". A song from their early years that is still as rough and ready as it was in the 2010's . Being the initial song and setting the tone for the rest of the show,this song has atomic war bride at their tightest. Which will quickly fade into their normal loose interpretations of their own songs. But for the moment,the uninitiated bask in the what they think will be the level of quality that will be delivered throughout the set.

After only the most brief of pauses the band continues into their next song, "saying farewell to Frank and Ernest." A song where the cheers of the crowd peter out and become hushed as some of the more mainstream fans don't recognize the song and who would? Atomic war bride is basically a jam band with better music and fashion. For all of their flaws as performers ,Erich and karoliena do possess remarkable skill to make up complete songs on the fly. The song in question seems to be about an old comic strip Erich may be read once. It's hard for say for sure. It's doubtful the titular hobos ever had a suicide pact.

"Thank you and goodnight!" Erich announces cheerfully before taking a bow before the very confused audience. He causally chucks his guitar to stage right where a guitar tech would be standing..if this was the actual end of the show and not a few minutes in. The aged Gretsch guitar sails in an arc before clattering to the floor. The pickups ensuring every splintering of the wood and every taut string going slack is broadcast at ear splitting volume across all of Belgium. Erich pauses in horror as the irreplaceable guitar is shattered. " Well,shit..." He says into the mic ," anyone have another Gretsch white falcon they can spot me until the end of the night?" He asks before being cut off by another peal of feedback from his guitar's remains. " A country gentleman? Anything? I swear I'll treat it better." He pleads when karoliena points to their very unfinished set list. Of course,most people don't just randomly have guitars on them,so no guitar is washed ashore from the ocean of people in front of the stage. As randomly as Erich threw his guitar to the non existent guitar tech, a telecaster comes flying from the other side of the stage, clattering to the floor. Erich picks it up and without tuning he starts playing, "that episode where Tim found Brad's stash in the gazebo." The classic war bride song rarely has been preformed live... mainly because Erich forgets which of the Taylor kids actually had the weed. Was it Brad? Randy? Jj Evans? Who knows? Who cares?! It's a rousing song about the old sitcom,home improvement. The Belgian crowd gets into this one and a respectable pit forms . The pit looks not unlike a cartoon fight: just a cloud that moves around the area with random feet,hands,heads,and genitals popping out.

"Yeah,you like that schtick don't you, you dirty dirty crowd " Erich says while doing his best Iggy pop impression. No not smearing peanut butter on himself,not fucking underage groupies (gross,Iggy. Gross ) but the other day thing: posing shirtless while hanging off the mic stand. "Fuck it. You know this song. " Erich announces as karoliena's bass slaps take the place of the iconic drum line of the song. Erich's speed pills must have finally been digested because at this point,he's running around like a man possessed. Somehow not missing a note but jumping from amp stack to amp stack like spider monkey.

Not pausing to introduce the next song,the band goes right into "if this caskets a rocking..." Another actual song from the bands surprisingly short library. A loving, if stereotypical psychobilly song about necrophilia. .. three zombies fucking? Erich clearly forgets what he wrote several times since the perspective of the song switches several times . But the crowd doesn't seem to notice or care. The song is another barn burner and that's what counts

"This one is I got fucking plastered on coronation street and all I got was this lousy t shirt!" Erich sneers as the band tears into another made up on the spot song. " We love ya,dusty." Erich adds for his Corrie loving friend. This one having a very "machine gun etiquette " era Damned feel to it. Erich's Dave Vanian impression Is cranked to 11 for this song . Makes one wonder why he never took to wearing face paint like Dave...or dannhausen. While the song has all the names and places of the famed soap opera,it's characterizations are way off. And mostly based off the old American soap opera,the young and the restless.

"We're going to do a slow one now,so grab your loved one and slow dance to this one. Just remember ' no glove,no love. Atomic war Bride charges extra to perform at conceptions. We will even join in if the price is right. This one is "undertaker,please drive slow." It's about drinking yourself to death. What?!' nobody mandates slow dance songs have to be sexy. I mean, it helps." Erich states with a shrug. The song highlights that atomic war bride can be a very competent country and western band in the flavor of Johnny cash and Hank Williams Sr. Being an atomic war bride crowd, however...they still form a pit.

Seeing the crowd energy refusing to really die down, Erich addresses the crowd again . "Damn, you fucks are really are spunky! I guess we better pick it up. For this last one,we are fully taking advantage of the fine print on your ticket,but for legal reasons: pregnant women, children, people with heart conditions,other health conditions, mental health conditions, being Mormon, etc. etc covers a lot so we're basically immune to consequences. But if you fall under any of these YOU DO NOT want to be in the splash zone. This last song is a big, dumb psychobilly song.we were atomic war bride out of Spokane Washington and we had a great time playing for you tonight. This is 666 horsepower!" As soon wct the band starts,a fine fog rolls across the stage and out over the first few rows of the crowd. True to his words,666 horsepower is a big dumb song . A big dumb song that the crowd goes nuts for. To make up for a possibly too short set, the song is stretched to six minutes and includes striptease bass solo from karoliena, along with,drum,and guitar solos until at it's zenith the song ends and the houselights come up.

Near Instantly the lights go back down and Erich takes the mic. " Right. We're all adults here. We're not playing peek-a-boo with you. Here's the encore. Everyone's favorite cw McCall song, convoy! "
The 1970s riffic song is made even more seventies when Erich sings the entire song through a CB radio, rendering any lyrics unintelligible yet elevating the artistic merit of the rendition. The song rips along furiously for it's entire run until ending abruptly when the ancient CB radio emits a geyser of sparks until unceremoniously going silent . Erich pauses and looks around desperately before taking normal microphone. " Welp. I doubt anyones going to be throwing vintage communications equipment towards me,so I guess we're done here . Oh that fog earlier? You're all on a shit ton of LSD right now. Goodnight!" He says, waving with both hands as the band leaves the stage

Set list:
1.Clockwork Elvis .
2.Farewell,frank and Ernest.
3. that episode where Tim found Brad's stash in the gazebo.
4. Lust for life. (Iggy Pop cover )
5. If this coffins a rocking..
6.I got fucking plastered on coronation street and all I got was this lousy t shirt!
7. Undertaker, please drive slow .
8. 666 horsepower.

Encore: convoy "cw McCall cover)

There is an air of expectancy as the crowd is gathering at the Main Stage after Amy Meyer's glorious comeback-performance. Or maybe I should call it an air of expectancy and not knowing what to expect. On one hand Toute Rancune have just regained the rights to their old back catalogue again, which would make one hope for some sort of a Greatest Hits Setlist.
On the other hand, the band has a new album to promote. Saying Hardcore Sexy was met with polarising reviews would be an understatement. It wouldn't be a surprise for this band to make a stubborn statement to prove everyone else wrong.

Another reason for expectancy are the keyboards that are being set up on the stage. What is that strange antenna sticking out at the side? Is that what some people think it is, a theremin?
Is this supposed to hint at the return of some legendary old band member from long bygone days? You can literally hear people think about all kind of possible scenarios about what's to come.
Then again, the banner that's been hung up doesn't even mention the band's name, just the image of the eye that was used for the artwork of Hardcore Sexy.

To everyone's surprise, TR arrive in their current lineup as a trio, leaving the keyboards unmanned. They are greeted like the local legends that they are and after the crowd dies down, the band kicks in with War Of Bells, their steadfast opener since their reunion.



Even though it's a safe choice to make as an opener, TR managed to play it without making it sound as a routine. That tribal build up, that deleted climax that somehow keeps exploding tonight. It is a perfect opener, why change it if it doesn't need fixing, right?

Next up are Passive Resistance and Static Broadcast, both coming from their latest album, Hardcore Sexy. TR has decided to take another chance to convince their audience.
Surprisingly enough, these two compositions don't feel like an abrupt shift in the Setlist, more like a shift in mood.
Comeback-album Dew was a mix of epic Post-Rock with Dry ne and Ambient, Hardcore Sexy just took the ambient and replaced it with Sludge-Metal.
Passive Resistance may still have a swinging beat underneath it's heavy riffing and some funnily bizarre lyrics (I heard the trains are on strike, And the government too, What did passive resistance ever do to you?), it's Static Broadcast that eats the cake. What an apocalyptic leviathan of Avant-Doom this is.

I admit the mistake of my colleague who reviewed this album. This record definitely deserves a second listen or two. Still, it is Heavy music and I'm not just talking about the volume. That's why the combination of the acoustic and the ebow-guitars of Eyes Open Wide feel like such a relief right now.
I'm just not sure if I can take another round such heaviness.

That's where Christophe Deckers suddenly takes the mile and said, Lieve mensen, graag uw applaus voor (Sweet People, your applause please, for) Linda Figuerõa.
About one half of the crowd, mostly older, loose their minds as multi-instrumentalist Linda Figuerõa, who used to play keyboards and theremin in a period that is being considered as unique by the hard core of TR-fans.



This is where the set takes a complete U-turn and TR play one of there classics, Elentric. What a song for miss Figuerõa to make her return. Having her keyboards immediately take centre stage in the song, the moment when those 7/4-drums kick in where she and her theremin go into a full on duel with Mario Abraham's ebow-guitar.

That's when it's over. Under the deafening roar of the crowd, the band, now a quartet, lines up, holding hands to make a bow. Still the crowd won't have it and TR return for a version of Mogwai's Mogwai Fear Satan, where Figuerõa's theremin serves as a perfect replacement for the flute-parts in the original.

Edited by user 11 July 2026 20:05:15(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Part 2, Posted on behalf of BrownSugar

By this point, Andrea has removed the shades and a spotlight is shone simply upon her as the rest of her band behind her fall into darkness, with some leaving the stage completely. A young, handsome brunette musician accompanies Andrea in the spotlight, sat upon a stool and accompanied by his acoustic guitar. A wave of calm washes over the ocean of people in the field as Andrea takes a breather and strips it down.

"So this year marks 15 years since I signed my first record deal. Yeah, crazy, huh?! I know some of y'all out there are only here because you love a festival, you love the beer, you just wanna have a good time and don't give a shit about me or the soppy stuff. I feel that. I've been there. Thank you anyway for still sticking around and spending your night with me. For those of you who have been with me since Day 1 or joined me at some point along this crazy motherfucking ride and have come all the way out here to show up and support me, I wanna tell you how much I appreciate and love y'all. No, it's true, it's true. I know I'm not the best at replying on socials and y'all don't see me out as much but I haven't forgotten my ass. It's nothing but love. You guys are the fucking best. I wouldn't be where I am without you and not a day goes by where I don't think about that and bask in the gratitude. So we're gonna take it back for my OGs. Gonna play a little something that I haven't sung in years."

The audience cheer as they await to hear the throwback classic that Andrea has in store for them. "Oh, this is Joseph on guitar, by the way. He's single too so uh, I might be looking to play matchmaker tonight!" Andrea giggles and looks out into the crowd as if scouring for Joseph's potential love of his life. "Some of y'all would eat this poor boy alive by the look of it! Speaking of afflictions, this one is called "Bruised". Don't pretend you don't know it." The crowd roar with excitement at the announcement as "Bruised" is a song that Andrea hasn't performed in years. Despite being her first #1 hit, Andrea often overlooks anything regarding her debut album 'In and Out of Consciousness' for several personal reasons. It is thus far the first and only song from her debut to make its way onto the setlist. As Joseph delicately strums away, Andrea performs an acoustic rendition of the iconic hit. The stripped back environment allows Andrea's angelic voice to soar and really provides the perfect platform to showcase the sheer power and often discredited ability that her voice holds. The crowd sing along with gusto and it truly stands as one of the highlights of the entire night. At one point, Andrea stops singing just to enjoy the sound of a wall of thousands of people singing her old song back to her.

"Thank y'all for playing with me tonight! Hellhole, give it up for Joseph! Y'all have been amazing tonight! The lights lift on the stage, revealing her band and backup vocalists once more. Joseph leaves the stage and Andrea blows kisses out into the audience before exiting herself as the band play a much more livelier instrumentation of "Bruised". Evidently a faux exit, the crowd await Andrea's return with incredible anticipation while the band continue to jam for a couple of minutes as they await the encore. Just like the introduction of the show, the huge screens flicker manically as the band build to a dramatic crescendo. As the stage falls into darkness, Andrea's booming voice is heard over the speakers as she makes her awaited return to the stage.

"HELLHOLE FEST! YOU READY FOR THIS YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING SLUTS?!" Andrea is back on the stage, standing dead in the centre while surrounded by female dancers. An unfamiliar song begins to play - upbeat and energetic. "You know, boys are fun...but boys are human. They aren't perfect. They don't always hit the spot. Sometimes they gotta go catch their breath and you just have to take matters into your own hands." Andrea runs her palm over her splayed crotch as she begins to sing the first track from her encore set. "Woman's Best Friend" appears to be the title and it makes no bones (pun intended) about the nature of the track. Andrea slinks about on stage with her gorgeous girly dancers as she sings about using a vibrator. Many phallic and suggestive hand gestures accompany the choreography. The whiplash between 'Bruised' and 'Woman's Best Friend' is staggering but that's Andrea and her discography in a nutshell. After the performance, Andrea fans herself with her hands, pretending to be all hot and bothered by the song. "Damn, give it up for my girls!"



"We're all from different walks of life here. We all like what we like and I think it's important and healthy to have these kind of open and frank conversations. Whether it's with your partner and talking about what gets you to where you need to go - some of y'all might need a little helping hand to get there, you know? Or whether it's about simply embracing who you are and what you like - no yums should be yucked. Not on my watch. We all have our things. I'm sure some of y'all are going to go back to your homes, hotels, tents after tonight and do some crazy shit to each other. Y'all, I fucking love that. Look at some of your faces lighting up! It takes all sorts to make the world go round. I want y'all to lean into all your fetishes, kinks, even just little quirks and weird things. Idiosyncrasies that make you YOU. Embrace them. Amplify them. I'd even go far as to say...SUPERSIZE them!" The crowd erupt as Andrea teases the next performance - her most recent hit and a huge #1 and radio staple for 2026, "SUPERSIZE".

"And speaking of 'Women's Best Friend', it's always good to get a helping hand from him. Hellhole Fest, please welcome to the stage; BILLY FUCKING KHAN!"

Had this show taken place indoors, the audience would have blown the roof off the venue. Thankfully, being hosted in a large field deters that disaster from happening. Billy's surprise guest appearance sends a shockwave throughout. Not only are they unexpectedly in the presence of one of the biggest stars on the planet, it is also a monumental moment for the two singers. While they have collaborated a couple of times and have appeared in music videos together, the former lovers who have a son together, haven't been publicly seen together in over a decade. This marks the first in-person sighting of one of pop cultures biggest and most infamous love stories in ten years.

Billy swaggers out, waving to the crowd while adorning a cropped, military-style matador jacket. It is a deep navy blue fabric heavily adorned with dense, elaborate metallic gold embroidery. The gold patterns form ornate swirls, scrollwork, and thick borders all along the front panels, collar, and cuffs. He looks commanding, regal and effortlessly sexy all in one - just another day at the office for Billy, really. He greets Andrea with a hug and a kiss on both cheek before turning to the squealing crowd. "Hellhole. Andrea. Let's fuck this shit up!"

Immediately, the frantic beat of 'SUPERSIZE' kicks in and both artists dive into professional performer mode, going from their friendly embrace and into 'character' as soon as the beat drops. Unlike the majority of Andrea's set, 'SUPERSIZE' is barely altered from its high energy hyperpop beat. What is amped up, however, is the crashing of the drums throughout the track as Andrea's drummer smashes away with gusto, taking a dancefloor anthem and turning into a stadium-sized behemoth. Billy and Andrea bounce off of one another with a natural chemistry, only to be expected with their colourful intertwined history. With the constant smiles being thrown between one another and both performers singing like their lives depended on it, this surprise performance of 'SUPERSIZE' serves as a full-circle moment for fans of both artists and those who used to zealously read about the ins and outs of their teenage relationship. They are both in a happy place and at the top of their game. As the song reaches its manic climax, both Billy and Andrea jump up and down in clouds of smoke and hype the audience to join them in their bouncing. When the song comes to an abrupt end, Billy embraces Andrea with a tight hug as the crowd holler.

"They seemed to like that, B..." Andrea raises an eyebrow and looks out into the crowd.

"Yeah, I noticed that. Should we...should we give them one more? What you thinking, Drea?" Billy teases, smirking at the sea of people who are hooked on his every word.

"One for the road?" Andrea giggles, playfully biting on the tip of her finger.

"Let's do it!" Billy grins as the band strikes up once more.

The introduction to "Something For The Fire" plays, a familiar song not just to the fans but the public at large. It was a huge hit for Andrea and Billy in 2015 and was their first collaboration. Despite being over 10 years old, the track has never been performed live by the pair and now here it is amidst a double-whammy of Billy and Andrea goodness. More subdued than 'SUPERSIZE', hazy, slinky and almost 'sluggish' electric guitar twangs take centre stage as the two croon about the decline of their explosive, highly publicised relationship. The R&B rooted track allows Billy to show off and play within the territory he knows best, letting his silky smooth vibrato and impressive range flutter in and out all sorts of scales with ease. The mid-tempo track allows the audience to calm down and collect themselves, meaning that they can solely focus on the magic happening in front of them - two modern day pop legends singing an iconic song while sounding impeccable and at the top of their game.

"Hellhole, give it up for Billy!" Andrea bellows down the microphone as the crowd scream for Mr. Khan, who smiles and blows a singular kiss out to them before swiftly exiting the stage, leaving Andrea on her own to close things out and have her moment in the spotlight once again. "What a fucking night! You guys have been incredible. I wanna say thank you to Hellhole for having faith in me and bringing me to this glorious festival. I want to thank Billy for coming all the way out here to make this night extra special. Let's give it up for my gorgeous dancers! We got Mike on drums. Helena on keys. Gabriel on bass. Joseph on the guitar. My glorious singers; Donna, Carissa, Rhiannon and Liam. And of course, you guys out there for being the best crowd I've ever fucking played for in my life! Make some fucking noise!!!!!"



"I wanna see you jump. I wanna hear you scream. I wanna see you get your fucking Ya-Ya's, Hellhole Fest!"

The crowd go ballistic as Andrea introduces her final song for tonight. The wild and wacky introduction for "Ya-Ya" begins to play. A song that has been used in many meme videos and is known for its zany production and heavy, unorthodox usage of an accordion in a mainstream pop song - "Ya-Ya" is the perfect climax to an already chaotic set. From the cheeky lyrics to the ballsy production, it exquisitely encompasses Andrea's fearless personality and demeanour. The high octane production of the track is also the perfect closer, going out on an almighty high.

Starting with a #1 hit and ending with a #1 hit, Andrea wonderfully bookends a historic set and doesn't hold back with her grand finale. All of her dancers return to stage while the lights and smoke machine go into overdrive. Continuously hyping up the crowd to jump, dance and scream along, the entire performance is one huge adrenaline rush. As the song builds and builds, finally reaching its grand apex, streams of fireworks are let off and majestically burst and shimmer in the dark night sky as Andrea explodes into the final chorus. The dancers throw streamers out into the crowd, who are at an all-time high and riding on the shoulders of others.

"HELLHOLE, YOU HAVE BEEN FUCKING AMAZING TONIGHT! THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME! STAY SEXY, Y'ALL! GET HOME SAFE! THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!"

Taking centre stage, she holds hands with her dancers before they all bow in unison before Andrea breaks away, blowing kisses and waving to every possible person she can see from the stage before making her exit. The dancers and the band continue, keeping the party going for those not quite ready to say goodbye yet.