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Anyone remember cute little Joshy Firecracker?
He first hit the small screen and the music industry at the age of 15, when he took part in a reality TV show called 'Ambition : Musician', and won. A few years later, aged 20, Joshy was back, but he and his twin sister Roxy got into a band called Firecracker 47, with former Nightside Bikithan Cat Collective members James D. Kairiri and Mikki Moo.
After turning 21 (and celebrating at The Dirty Bastard - he's still, he's still Joshy from the block), it was all on. Firecracker 47 had just released their high selling debut album 'Firecracker 47's Mind Numbing Musical Interpretation Of How Not To Take The Morning After Pill (And Other Vaguely Interesting Metrosexual Blunders) : The Debut Album That About Four People Have Been Desperately Waiting For', plus he'd landed himself one of the lead roles, alongside Stephanie Ortiz, in the successful film, 'Pop Tarts', co-written by Joshy himself, based on his experiences on 'Ambition : Musician'. And who could forget his return to reality TV, coming second place to Sexy Star on the third edition of 'I'm A Rockstar, Get Me Out Of Here!'?
 
But things weren't great all the time. They never are. When Sammy Sawyer and Catherine Lewis became smitten on screen; backstage, so did Joshy Firecracker and Bikki Hetestien, the late wife of The Nimrods' Jimmy Him. She fell pregnant around that time, and whose was it!? Turned out that there was a bit of both, when non-identical twin girls were born, one who looked startlingly like each of the prospective fathers. But that wasn't all.
Raven Comatose had, in her lifetime, been known to be suicidal; but who would have thought that she would build her own Molotov cocktail - and hit herself with it!? In the beer garden of The Dirty Bastard, Raven jumped for the flames. Joshy pushed Raven out of the way, saving her life but getting a faceful of fire, plus burning his legs badly. He lost the sight in one eye and had to use a wheelchair - and if he hadn't had three facelifts beforehand, he wouldn't have survived.
Last time we saw him, he was engaged to Madbird Bri Kildare. 'Brioche' was the new 'power couple', and they were set to record together.
But what happened to him?
At St. Mary of the Angels church in Brisbane, we go in for the Sunday Mass, and see none other than 23-year-old Father Joshua, dressed with a dog collar, standing with the help of crutches, and telling everyone to stand with him, before leading a beautiful rendition of 'Shine, Jesus, Shine'.
After taking communion, we sit outside for a chat with F47 and Bri.
"The Firecracker family have always been Christian," Joshy explains. "I knew that if I failed at being a TV star or a musician, I would be a priest. It's a calling."
Mikki shakes her head. "That's bollocks - you're just a Cathy with a cult following of daft Christians."
"No, he's not joking," twin sister Roxy disagrees. "When we used to watch Father Ted, he wanted to be a priest too so he could have lots of tea."
"Would you like a cup of tea, Father?" says Bri, laughing. "I do make him a lot of tea, but he's more than caffeine and sugar - he's so full of love."
What happened to the marriage? And the band, for that matter?
"We're chaste lovers," says Bri, putting her arm around Joshy. "Sorry ladies, he's all mine! No marriage, no sex. He's had enough sex for a lifetime!"
"What!? It's impossible for a man to have 'enough' sex! Crazy girl," says James. "Anyway. As for the band - Mikki, Katie and I have plenty to be doing. We have our own projects over the other side of the world. Plus he can't exactly tour, he's not healthy enough with his legs, and he needs his eye sorted."
"We're not over yet! I wanted to co-host the Birdies - Ravens," says Joshy, "but I can't even get the name right, haha!"
While we're here - what's in store for this lady, whoever she is?
"Growing a personality!" jokes Mikki. "Roxy needs to get her name out there more!"
"How about growing some talent beyond having sexy legs?" Roxana Firecracker hits back. "No really, I'll be on a break. I need to work out, practise my guitar and stage skills - the guitarist is meant to be second in command, but really, I just play background music. Oh well, it's more than Mikki does!"
"What's wrong with my sexy legs?" Mikki ponders.
Nothing, Mikki. Absolutely nothing.
(coming soon - recaps and updates on Mikki and the Kairiris) |
